1 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,955 Mr. Gustafson, I have to talk to you. 2 00:01:52,116 --> 00:01:54,896 Mr. Gustafson, will you answer the door, please? 3 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,702 I know you're in there. 4 00:01:57,997 --> 00:02:02,659 It's no use pretending this isn't happening, Mr. Gustafson. 5 00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:07,170 I can't keep coming back here every couple of days. 6 00:02:08,465 --> 00:02:10,505 You have to talk to me. 7 00:02:12,386 --> 00:02:16,170 Mr. Gustafson, I'm just trying to help you. 8 00:02:16,724 --> 00:02:18,800 Come on, answer the door. 9 00:02:19,101 --> 00:02:20,755 I'm just gonna keep knocking. 10 00:02:20,859 --> 00:02:24,518 I'll come back, so you might as well answer the door. 11 00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:29,603 We know you're in there. 12 00:02:31,196 --> 00:02:33,569 Think of the neighbors, Mr. Gustafson. 13 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:38,160 There's a letter for you, Mr. Gustafson. 14 00:02:40,372 --> 00:02:42,661 I suggest you read it. 15 00:02:46,045 --> 00:02:48,243 - Morning, dickhead. - Hello, moron. 16 00:02:48,347 --> 00:02:49,881 What are you... 17 00:02:50,132 --> 00:02:51,786 Never mind. Just forget it. 18 00:02:51,890 --> 00:02:55,125 - Who's the guy yakking at your door? - Mind your own business. 19 00:02:55,229 --> 00:02:57,540 "Mind your own business." 20 00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:00,209 Tie your shoelace. You'll fall on your stupid head. 21 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:01,502 Shut up. 22 00:03:01,606 --> 00:03:03,678 We're having a heat wave. 23 00:03:04,063 --> 00:03:07,977 We're having a heat wave A tropical heat wave 24 00:03:11,946 --> 00:03:14,946 Somebody moving into the old Clickner place. 25 00:03:18,452 --> 00:03:21,444 - You picked up on that, Sherlock. - Excuse me. 26 00:03:21,548 --> 00:03:23,946 I wonder if you could tell me... 27 00:03:24,083 --> 00:03:26,568 where I could find Mr. Gustafson? 28 00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:28,406 Gustafson? No, sorry. 29 00:03:28,510 --> 00:03:30,662 - Mr. John Gustafson? - That's right. 30 00:03:35,094 --> 00:03:39,886 You mean the lowlife, asswipe, eggsucker John Gustafson? 31 00:03:40,683 --> 00:03:42,141 Have you seen him? 32 00:03:42,267 --> 00:03:44,421 That man's crazy. Loco. 33 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,971 Always hanging out around those kinky strip bars... 34 00:03:48,107 --> 00:03:50,858 where men take their clothes off. 35 00:03:52,069 --> 00:03:54,894 That's, of course, if he's taken his medication. 36 00:03:54,998 --> 00:03:56,098 Medication? 37 00:03:56,202 --> 00:04:00,575 Without it, he could be anywhere. Wandering around talking to the trees. 38 00:04:00,828 --> 00:04:04,319 Believe me, this man is a menace. Always drinking, starting fights. 39 00:04:04,423 --> 00:04:05,946 Isn't that right? 40 00:04:06,051 --> 00:04:09,532 - But have you seen him? - No, sorry. 41 00:04:09,637 --> 00:04:12,795 I think, perhaps... 42 00:04:15,592 --> 00:04:16,592 no. 43 00:04:18,846 --> 00:04:20,388 If you see him... 44 00:04:20,723 --> 00:04:23,337 would you give him this and tell him he must contact... 45 00:04:23,441 --> 00:04:25,307 Mr. Snyder as soon as possible. 46 00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:30,565 That's me. It's important. 47 00:04:31,442 --> 00:04:34,941 Important? Yes, sir. We'll tell him when we see him. 48 00:04:41,238 --> 00:04:42,281 Look out! 49 00:04:42,385 --> 00:04:43,562 Watch out for that ice. 50 00:04:43,666 --> 00:04:45,483 Very slippery. 51 00:04:45,587 --> 00:04:46,695 Right. 52 00:04:48,584 --> 00:04:50,208 Holy moly. 53 00:04:57,134 --> 00:04:58,249 Jesus. 54 00:05:07,186 --> 00:05:09,759 A men's strip joint? 55 00:05:13,067 --> 00:05:14,267 Idiot. 56 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,179 Thirty days. 57 00:05:44,848 --> 00:05:46,129 That's just great. 58 00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:09,817 ... this Remington MicroScreen Rechargeable Shaver so much... 59 00:06:09,921 --> 00:06:11,108 I bought the company. 60 00:06:11,212 --> 00:06:14,487 It shaves as close as a blade, or I'll give you your money back. 61 00:06:14,592 --> 00:06:17,578 The first microscreen is so thin it shaves incredibly close. 62 00:06:17,682 --> 00:06:20,370 The second even closer. Remington's American... 63 00:06:20,475 --> 00:06:24,458 You should have seen Mrs. Carlson's face when he said "It's a keeper." 64 00:06:24,562 --> 00:06:27,046 Oh, cold enough for you? 65 00:06:28,309 --> 00:06:29,924 Shut up, fat-ass. 66 00:06:30,028 --> 00:06:34,508 It's not even Thanksgiving, and we're enjoying our lovely fall weather. 67 00:06:34,613 --> 00:06:37,009 Six inches of snow on the ground already... 68 00:06:37,113 --> 00:06:40,306 with traveler's advisories in effect throughout our area tonight... 69 00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:43,645 you'd be advised to stay inside and have yourself... 70 00:06:43,749 --> 00:06:45,698 a warm, home-cooked meal. 71 00:06:47,828 --> 00:06:49,943 Here's what's coming up this week. 72 00:06:50,047 --> 00:06:53,152 It's snow, snow, and more snow. 73 00:06:53,256 --> 00:06:56,574 We've got snow coming into our area all week long. 74 00:06:56,679 --> 00:06:59,375 Come Sunday afternoon, another cold front... 75 00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:39,330 What the hell! 76 00:08:21,505 --> 00:08:23,505 Holy moly. 77 00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:31,303 Oh, my God. 78 00:08:58,751 --> 00:09:01,954 You're still using that beat-up piece of firewood? 79 00:09:02,546 --> 00:09:07,125 The Green Hornet's caught more fish than you've lied about, Gustafson. 80 00:09:09,219 --> 00:09:10,464 You see her? 81 00:09:11,013 --> 00:09:13,754 Drives pretty fast on that snowmobile. 82 00:09:13,858 --> 00:09:15,972 Pretty damn fast. 83 00:09:17,436 --> 00:09:19,467 Did you hear about Eddie Hicks? 84 00:09:19,571 --> 00:09:21,633 Hypothermia's a bitch. 85 00:09:21,737 --> 00:09:23,808 Not quick like a stroke. 86 00:09:24,193 --> 00:09:27,433 A stroke is no damn good. You could end up like a vegetable. 87 00:09:27,538 --> 00:09:29,818 Give me a cardiac any day. 88 00:09:30,115 --> 00:09:31,859 You know what Jacob said? 89 00:09:32,618 --> 00:09:36,153 Jacob said that old Billy Hinshel was killed in a car crash. 90 00:09:36,538 --> 00:09:38,525 Head-on collision with a freight truck. 91 00:09:38,629 --> 00:09:42,031 Cleared his car straight over the bridge into the Mississippi. 92 00:09:42,136 --> 00:09:43,586 Lucky bastard. 93 00:09:43,963 --> 00:09:45,243 You bet. 94 00:09:46,131 --> 00:09:47,590 How is he anyway? 95 00:09:48,092 --> 00:09:50,245 He's dead. Died on impact. 96 00:09:50,349 --> 00:09:52,799 Jacob, moron. Jacob. 97 00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:55,054 Oh, he's fine. 98 00:09:55,182 --> 00:09:57,419 Doing real good. Real busy and everything. 99 00:09:57,523 --> 00:09:59,754 He promised to come over for Thanksgiving. 100 00:09:59,859 --> 00:10:01,635 Is he really running for Mayor? 101 00:10:01,740 --> 00:10:05,138 - Make a damn fine mayor, too. - It's a good thing he's his mother's son. 102 00:10:05,242 --> 00:10:07,803 If he looked like you, he'd never get on the ballot. 103 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,557 Eat my shorts. 104 00:10:09,661 --> 00:10:12,563 - Morning, Mrs. Truax. - Morning, how are you doing? 105 00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:14,117 Holy moly. 106 00:10:16,328 --> 00:10:18,451 - Watch your step there, ma'am. - Thank you. 107 00:10:35,639 --> 00:10:37,548 Jesus Quincy Adams. 108 00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:53,773 I hit the cans again. 109 00:10:53,991 --> 00:10:55,319 I heard. 110 00:10:55,618 --> 00:10:57,316 How is the Grinch today? 111 00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:01,361 Ain't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. 112 00:11:01,665 --> 00:11:03,030 Can I get you something? 113 00:11:03,134 --> 00:11:05,527 A six-pack of Schmidt and some bait. 114 00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:09,618 - Shiners or wax worms? - I can't afford shiners, give me the worms. 115 00:11:09,722 --> 00:11:11,497 The worms are 75 cents. 116 00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:16,254 75 cents? Crime in Italy. Chuck, we're talking about worms not caviar. 117 00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:18,999 You go through that every time. 118 00:11:19,104 --> 00:11:23,922 Where are you going to get worms this time of year? It's supply and demand. 119 00:11:24,026 --> 00:11:27,051 You could retire in Florida just from selling me worms. 120 00:11:27,155 --> 00:11:28,681 Throw the beef jerky in, too. 121 00:11:28,785 --> 00:11:31,261 That's $5 for the beer and the worms. 122 00:11:31,366 --> 00:11:34,059 Your old gut can't handle jerky. 123 00:11:34,163 --> 00:11:35,615 Goddamn. 124 00:11:36,408 --> 00:11:38,448 Is Pop out there at the shanty? 125 00:11:38,869 --> 00:11:40,114 Always. 126 00:11:40,746 --> 00:11:41,991 And the moron? 127 00:11:42,247 --> 00:11:44,821 There's lots of ice out there, Gustafson. 128 00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:46,861 Should be room enough for the both of you. 129 00:11:46,966 --> 00:11:49,249 "Lots of ice out there, Gustafson." 130 00:12:21,662 --> 00:12:23,204 Hi, Dad. 131 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:24,952 Any luck today? 132 00:12:25,056 --> 00:12:28,409 How the hell should I know? I just got here. 133 00:12:28,877 --> 00:12:31,492 Mel, she came by the other day... 134 00:12:31,596 --> 00:12:33,711 and said you'd been snapping. 135 00:12:34,049 --> 00:12:35,748 Like a catfish. 136 00:12:35,852 --> 00:12:38,163 I've had a lot on my mind lately. 137 00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,254 I'll tell what's on my mind. 138 00:12:40,431 --> 00:12:44,345 It's butt-cold out here and I'm fresh out of beer. 139 00:12:45,436 --> 00:12:48,223 Someone moved into the Clickner place. A woman. 140 00:12:48,355 --> 00:12:49,814 A woman? 141 00:12:50,566 --> 00:12:53,235 - Did you mount her? - Oh, Dad. 142 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,065 Does she have big thighs? 143 00:12:58,699 --> 00:13:00,573 Then what's the problem? 144 00:13:00,784 --> 00:13:03,776 If I was a young fellow like you, I'd be mounting... 145 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,991 every woman in Wabasha. 146 00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:09,910 Keep the change. 147 00:13:14,548 --> 00:13:16,042 Hi, Punky. 148 00:13:16,175 --> 00:13:17,633 Hi, John. 149 00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:27,114 The Green Hornet strikes again. 150 00:14:28,872 --> 00:14:30,443 Caught my limit. 151 00:14:30,547 --> 00:14:32,527 You only snagged one. 152 00:14:32,631 --> 00:14:35,157 Two fish are on there, you bonehead. 153 00:14:35,261 --> 00:14:37,740 I throw back what I'm not going to eat. 154 00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:41,619 Yeah, like that 40-pound muskie you're always yakking about. 155 00:14:41,723 --> 00:14:44,838 It's a shame nobody ever sees you with these monsters. 156 00:14:53,522 --> 00:14:55,396 You're gonna love it, Goldman. 157 00:14:57,901 --> 00:14:59,645 Go to work, baby. 158 00:15:10,831 --> 00:15:12,076 What is it? 159 00:15:15,628 --> 00:15:17,869 Oh, my God, they've come for me. 160 00:15:48,452 --> 00:15:50,445 Oh, my God. I... 161 00:15:51,163 --> 00:15:52,741 You see, I was... 162 00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:57,114 I hope you don't mind, but I saw your light on... 163 00:15:57,218 --> 00:15:59,880 and I was wondering if I might use your bathroom. 164 00:16:00,881 --> 00:16:01,881 What? 165 00:16:04,969 --> 00:16:08,717 - Your toilet is broken? - No, thank goodness. 166 00:16:09,306 --> 00:16:13,849 I don't know, the house seemed so empty tonight. I do so love bathrooms. 167 00:16:14,061 --> 00:16:17,469 Did you know you can tell a lot about a person from his bathroom? 168 00:16:17,573 --> 00:16:19,135 I didn't know that. 169 00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:22,234 There it is. I can't wait to see what I find in there. 170 00:16:22,444 --> 00:16:24,733 Much better than having your palm read. 171 00:16:24,863 --> 00:16:27,900 Give me 30 seconds in a person's bathroom... 172 00:16:28,033 --> 00:16:31,236 and I'll give you a complete and accurate profile. 173 00:16:31,453 --> 00:16:34,787 - There's a guest bathroom, please. - I'll only be a minute. 174 00:17:09,408 --> 00:17:10,408 So? 175 00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:12,655 Fascinating. 176 00:17:15,039 --> 00:17:18,289 Don't you think it's time you finally introduced yourself? 177 00:17:19,376 --> 00:17:21,001 John Gustafson, right? 178 00:17:23,714 --> 00:17:27,038 I took some of your mail yesterday to find out who you were. 179 00:17:27,142 --> 00:17:31,790 But you don't get much and what you do get doesn't paint a picture. 180 00:17:31,894 --> 00:17:34,806 - Taking mail is a federal offense. - I know. 181 00:17:35,309 --> 00:17:38,217 Sometimes you must go a long distance out of the way... 182 00:17:38,321 --> 00:17:40,971 in order to return a short distance correctly. 183 00:17:41,075 --> 00:17:43,889 Don't you find that, too? I love that line. 184 00:17:43,994 --> 00:17:48,307 I have to confess it's not mine. It's from The Zoo Story by Edward Albee. 185 00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:51,851 I teach American literature at Winona State University. 186 00:17:51,956 --> 00:17:55,358 I started yesterday. I love the classics, don't you? 187 00:17:55,462 --> 00:17:59,444 - Well, I also read Field & Stream. - Indeed? 188 00:17:59,549 --> 00:18:02,542 You have a whole library up there from what I could see. 189 00:18:02,753 --> 00:18:07,878 There's something really rugged and virile about the outdoors. 190 00:18:10,970 --> 00:18:12,872 My manners. I'm sorry. 191 00:18:12,977 --> 00:18:14,430 I'm Ariel Truax. 192 00:18:14,723 --> 00:18:17,421 How do you do? I'm John Gustafson. 193 00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:19,309 Yes, I know. 194 00:18:20,396 --> 00:18:22,427 When did you move into the Clickner place? 195 00:18:22,531 --> 00:18:24,397 I'm sure you know that. 196 00:18:24,525 --> 00:18:27,349 Since I got here, you and Max Goldman... 197 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:32,434 have been stuck up against your windows watching me like two Garfield cats. 198 00:18:32,538 --> 00:18:35,102 Like the kind people stick to their car windows. 199 00:18:35,206 --> 00:18:37,733 The little suction cups they have... 200 00:18:37,837 --> 00:18:39,028 Squirrels. 201 00:18:39,290 --> 00:18:43,113 Been watching squirrels. One's been making a nest under your eaves. 202 00:18:43,217 --> 00:18:44,669 Sure, John. 203 00:18:44,837 --> 00:18:46,240 Here's your mail. 204 00:18:46,344 --> 00:18:49,118 There's nothing addressed to a Mrs. Gustafson. 205 00:18:49,222 --> 00:18:52,550 By the state of your bathroom, I presume you're a bachelor. 206 00:18:53,554 --> 00:18:54,929 Gay or straight? 207 00:18:56,724 --> 00:18:58,633 Heterosexual or homosexual? 208 00:18:59,476 --> 00:19:01,175 Jeez Louise... 209 00:19:01,279 --> 00:19:03,512 It's a perfectly legitimate question. 210 00:19:04,773 --> 00:19:08,023 Maybe in California but here in Minnesota... 211 00:19:08,485 --> 00:19:10,229 Have I upset you? 212 00:19:12,656 --> 00:19:15,520 It's the middle of the night and I don't know what... 213 00:19:15,624 --> 00:19:17,316 Do you want me to leave? 214 00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:19,020 No. Yes. 215 00:19:21,915 --> 00:19:24,751 It was very nice meeting you, John Gustafson. 216 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:28,163 And now that we know each other, don't be a stranger, neighbor. 217 00:19:29,381 --> 00:19:30,840 Oh, and John... 218 00:19:31,216 --> 00:19:33,589 king's rook to queen's bishop three. 219 00:20:07,169 --> 00:20:08,912 Don't ring that up yet. 220 00:20:09,088 --> 00:20:12,118 I need something for my lumbago. The pain is killing me. 221 00:20:12,222 --> 00:20:16,667 It's killing you, my ass. He doesn't know the meaning of the word pain. 222 00:20:16,771 --> 00:20:20,752 I got a pinched sciatica that makes your lumbago look like eye strain. 223 00:20:20,857 --> 00:20:23,086 Pain. He wants to talk about pain. 224 00:20:23,190 --> 00:20:26,519 I had a gallstone the size of a baseball. 225 00:20:27,189 --> 00:20:30,107 Gallstones are for pussies. 226 00:20:30,317 --> 00:20:33,431 When I had shingles did you see me complain to Phil? 227 00:20:33,535 --> 00:20:35,936 - Did you? - Shingles schmingles. 228 00:20:36,115 --> 00:20:38,522 When I had my ulcers, I was... 229 00:20:39,326 --> 00:20:41,900 farting razor blades. 230 00:20:42,705 --> 00:20:44,614 Good morning, John. 231 00:20:46,208 --> 00:20:48,580 You must be Max Goldman. 232 00:20:48,752 --> 00:20:51,660 Hi, I'm Ariel Truax, your new neighbor. 233 00:20:51,765 --> 00:20:52,918 Pleasure. 234 00:20:53,048 --> 00:20:55,124 Isn't it a peach of a day? 235 00:20:55,718 --> 00:20:57,627 Listen, I have something for you. 236 00:20:57,761 --> 00:21:00,459 It was dropped off at my house by accident. 237 00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:02,347 Some of your mail. 238 00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:04,842 Here you are. Sorry. 239 00:21:05,811 --> 00:21:08,719 Have my herbal therapy oils arrived yet? 240 00:21:08,823 --> 00:21:10,356 They arrived this morning. 241 00:21:10,566 --> 00:21:13,139 Special delivery from California. 242 00:21:13,777 --> 00:21:15,058 Wonderful. 243 00:21:15,529 --> 00:21:18,613 Yes, there's nothing like the scent of... 244 00:21:19,366 --> 00:21:21,240 fresh tea tree... 245 00:21:21,368 --> 00:21:23,982 just soaking into your pores. 246 00:21:24,087 --> 00:21:25,528 Don't you agree? 247 00:21:25,632 --> 00:21:27,032 Lovely. 248 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,991 Thank you. It was such a pleasure meeting you... 249 00:21:31,096 --> 00:21:33,957 and I'm sure we're going to see a lot of one another. 250 00:21:34,590 --> 00:21:37,425 Goodbye, gentlemen. Goodbye, John. 251 00:21:42,097 --> 00:21:44,097 Holy moly. 252 00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:47,630 Now wait. You got all four wheels on the track? 253 00:21:47,734 --> 00:21:49,804 All right. Careful, fellas. 254 00:21:50,940 --> 00:21:55,096 Be careful. That's over 100 years old. Damn thing might collapse. 255 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,891 - Hi, sweetheart. How are you? - Hi, Dad. 256 00:21:57,996 --> 00:22:00,740 - There's Granddaddy's little girl. - What's going on? 257 00:22:01,116 --> 00:22:04,895 - I'm getting rid of that. It's just firewood. - Why? 258 00:22:04,999 --> 00:22:08,652 I don't know. I don't play it much. It sits around collecting dust. 259 00:22:08,756 --> 00:22:10,281 You love that piano. 260 00:22:10,385 --> 00:22:13,910 Granddaddy's got a surprise for you in the house, pumpkin. 261 00:22:14,421 --> 00:22:17,671 Just a little C-A-N-D-Y. It's not going to kill her. 262 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:22,835 Which one? 263 00:22:23,097 --> 00:22:25,303 Which hand? This one? 264 00:22:26,725 --> 00:22:28,184 That's the one. 265 00:22:29,228 --> 00:22:30,798 There you are, sweet pea. 266 00:22:30,902 --> 00:22:32,723 - How about that? Here. - Dad. 267 00:22:33,816 --> 00:22:37,481 - Is there something wrong? - No. Nothing's wrong at all. 268 00:22:38,153 --> 00:22:39,731 With me... 269 00:22:49,498 --> 00:22:52,119 - People are asking about you. - I know. 270 00:22:52,334 --> 00:22:56,325 Yeah, I keep telling them that you and Mike are doing just fine. 271 00:22:56,429 --> 00:22:58,829 It's just a lot of gum-flapping. 272 00:22:59,675 --> 00:23:03,589 - Mike and I aren't fine. - That's what I thought. 273 00:23:07,266 --> 00:23:09,591 We're gonna separate for a while. 274 00:23:12,646 --> 00:23:15,766 Honey, marriage isn't easy. You got to work at it. 275 00:23:16,442 --> 00:23:18,889 It's hard to work at it when he's never there. 276 00:23:18,993 --> 00:23:22,016 Sounds familiar. Mother wondered where I was for 20 years. 277 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:25,771 You really think I wanted two jobs? I didn't do that for me. 278 00:23:25,875 --> 00:23:28,232 I was doing it for you, Brian, your mother. 279 00:23:28,336 --> 00:23:31,448 Dad, this isn't about you. It's about me and Mike. 280 00:23:33,083 --> 00:23:35,040 I'm sorry. I keep... 281 00:23:38,839 --> 00:23:41,330 I'm sorry. I love you so much. 282 00:23:43,427 --> 00:23:46,761 Well, whatever you and Mike decide is... 283 00:23:49,266 --> 00:23:51,010 I never liked him anyway. 284 00:24:04,031 --> 00:24:05,691 Who is that? 285 00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:08,492 I don't know. 286 00:24:12,456 --> 00:24:14,532 She seems to know you. 287 00:24:18,587 --> 00:24:21,588 - Does she always do that? - I don't know. 288 00:24:22,174 --> 00:24:24,048 This is great. 289 00:24:43,612 --> 00:24:46,687 We hope you enjoyed our feature presentation. 290 00:24:46,791 --> 00:24:50,106 Now stay tuned for tonight's $6.4 million... 291 00:24:50,210 --> 00:24:52,278 jackpot on Powerball. 292 00:24:52,454 --> 00:24:54,275 Followed by local news. 293 00:24:54,379 --> 00:24:55,566 Out of the way. 294 00:24:55,670 --> 00:24:59,414 Come on, baby. I've got to win $1 million. 295 00:25:13,225 --> 00:25:14,388 Who's that? 296 00:25:19,189 --> 00:25:21,137 Jacob, you got my vote. That's terrific. 297 00:25:21,241 --> 00:25:24,928 Come on in. Have a little TV dinner. Lasagna's heating up now. 298 00:25:25,033 --> 00:25:28,059 No time. I just dropped by to give you this placard for the yard. 299 00:25:28,163 --> 00:25:29,605 I have to deliver a lot. 300 00:25:29,709 --> 00:25:31,443 Just have one drink. 301 00:25:31,994 --> 00:25:33,648 I can't. Sorry. I'll call you. 302 00:25:33,752 --> 00:25:35,822 No, close the door. Come in. 303 00:25:36,081 --> 00:25:38,370 Wait a minute. Give me a minute. 304 00:25:38,542 --> 00:25:43,204 I'll be with you in a second. I have to do something here that's very important. 305 00:25:43,464 --> 00:25:46,661 $6.4 million is our estimated jackpot. 306 00:25:46,765 --> 00:25:48,632 You could be our next millionaire. 307 00:25:55,976 --> 00:26:01,048 To win the jackpot, correctly match five white balls and the red powerball. 308 00:26:01,152 --> 00:26:03,224 Our first number is a... 309 00:26:11,533 --> 00:26:13,193 What's going on? 310 00:26:14,656 --> 00:26:15,699 Seven. 311 00:26:15,803 --> 00:26:19,195 Number four. Remember, to win the jackpot, match 5 white balls... 312 00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:20,916 and the red powerball. 313 00:26:23,671 --> 00:26:24,916 Come on. 314 00:26:25,047 --> 00:26:26,995 Schmuck doesn't know what's happening. 315 00:26:27,099 --> 00:26:28,328 ... a 25. 316 00:26:28,433 --> 00:26:32,589 There's just one more white ball and here it is... 317 00:26:35,766 --> 00:26:37,557 Jesus Christ. 318 00:26:43,315 --> 00:26:44,560 Goldman. 319 00:26:46,277 --> 00:26:47,937 Goldman. It's Goldman. 320 00:26:48,237 --> 00:26:49,474 You're a child. 321 00:26:49,579 --> 00:26:51,770 Don't tell me. It isn't me. 322 00:26:51,874 --> 00:26:53,490 It never is. 323 00:26:53,617 --> 00:26:56,155 I'm sure John started every fight since 1940. 324 00:26:56,370 --> 00:26:57,413 Thirty eight. 325 00:26:57,579 --> 00:26:59,656 It's ridiculous. 326 00:27:03,836 --> 00:27:05,284 Come over here and apologize. 327 00:27:05,388 --> 00:27:07,494 - Come here. - I'm not apologizing to anybody. 328 00:27:07,598 --> 00:27:09,629 You're letting the cold air in. 329 00:27:13,262 --> 00:27:15,005 Take that, you criminal. 330 00:27:37,786 --> 00:27:40,324 I don't believe it. That old trick? 331 00:27:40,748 --> 00:27:45,540 This is between me and your father. There's no need for you to get involved. 332 00:27:46,462 --> 00:27:49,537 I don't say anything on one condition. 333 00:27:49,641 --> 00:27:51,624 Put one of these in your yard. 334 00:27:52,635 --> 00:27:54,288 I'd be proud to. 335 00:27:54,393 --> 00:27:57,423 Hey, not one word to your old man, remember? 336 00:28:01,060 --> 00:28:02,470 Have fun, Johnny. 337 00:28:20,037 --> 00:28:22,243 Hey, dickhead, you win the lottery? 338 00:28:24,208 --> 00:28:26,615 Enjoy your shower, smartass? 339 00:28:47,064 --> 00:28:49,981 Got to use hot water, you schmuck. 340 00:28:50,109 --> 00:28:51,900 You'll never get me. 341 00:28:54,822 --> 00:28:56,695 See you later. 342 00:29:07,835 --> 00:29:10,041 Up yours, Gustafson. 343 00:29:16,385 --> 00:29:18,674 What the hell is that smell? 344 00:29:41,327 --> 00:29:43,319 Watch it, bonehead. 345 00:29:53,839 --> 00:29:56,747 Mrs. Cusack over at the store said she came in yesterday... 346 00:29:56,851 --> 00:29:59,131 to buy some candles and incense. 347 00:29:59,678 --> 00:30:03,343 Ask me, she's probably a member of one of them religious cults. 348 00:30:03,515 --> 00:30:06,129 - You say she's all alone? - What I heard. 349 00:30:06,234 --> 00:30:09,227 She's available and hot to trot. 350 00:30:14,526 --> 00:30:16,519 - Moron. - Putz. 351 00:30:19,198 --> 00:30:21,645 Max was telling me about your new neighbor. 352 00:30:21,749 --> 00:30:22,749 What? 353 00:30:22,952 --> 00:30:27,448 My new neighbor? Oh, yes, new neighbor. She came over to see me last night. 354 00:30:27,623 --> 00:30:28,623 What? 355 00:30:28,832 --> 00:30:30,780 About 1:30 in the morning. 356 00:30:30,884 --> 00:30:33,990 Why would a woman come over at 1:30 to see you? 357 00:30:34,094 --> 00:30:37,207 Why do you think? I'll have a six-pack. 358 00:30:37,925 --> 00:30:39,873 Women and fish... 359 00:30:39,977 --> 00:30:42,666 you can never catch either one of them, Gustafson. 360 00:30:42,770 --> 00:30:46,097 I've laid more pipe in this town than Wabasha Plumbing. 361 00:30:46,517 --> 00:30:49,186 You're going to go after her? 362 00:30:49,353 --> 00:30:53,593 Oh, jeez. God no. She's too... She's too disturbed for me. 363 00:30:53,697 --> 00:30:58,353 - For you maybe. - I won't have anything to do with her. 364 00:30:58,487 --> 00:31:00,934 Women fall too hard for me. 365 00:31:01,039 --> 00:31:02,988 They get obsessed with me. 366 00:31:03,367 --> 00:31:06,314 It's like one of them Fatal Attraction things... 367 00:31:06,418 --> 00:31:09,275 that they show on The Donahue Show, you know. 368 00:31:09,379 --> 00:31:13,113 You guys are the biggest damn bullshitters... 369 00:31:13,217 --> 00:31:16,745 in this entire frozen nation. 370 00:31:17,089 --> 00:31:19,491 You're just plain chicken... 371 00:31:19,596 --> 00:31:21,465 both of you, if you ask me. 372 00:31:21,677 --> 00:31:25,093 A beautiful woman just sitting there... 373 00:31:25,222 --> 00:31:27,459 20 feet from your front yards... 374 00:31:27,563 --> 00:31:31,797 and you're trying to tell me you'd rather park your wrinkly butts... 375 00:31:31,902 --> 00:31:37,020 on a frozen piece of ice kissing up to buckets of fish bait. 376 00:31:37,985 --> 00:31:40,274 Gee, listen to Casanova. 377 00:31:40,487 --> 00:31:43,146 Yeah, he's a regular Don Juan. 378 00:31:43,251 --> 00:31:46,481 No wonder the ladies "Don Juan" anything to do with you. 379 00:31:46,585 --> 00:31:48,441 - That's it. - That did it. Bye. 380 00:31:48,545 --> 00:31:50,145 I'm out. 381 00:31:50,748 --> 00:31:53,150 Hey, Max, say hello to Jake for me. 382 00:31:53,254 --> 00:31:56,158 Why don't you come over and have some turkey with us? 383 00:31:56,263 --> 00:31:58,912 There's always plenty of bird with just Jacob and me. 384 00:31:59,016 --> 00:32:01,575 That way you can spend next week in bed with ptomaine. 385 00:32:01,679 --> 00:32:04,462 Come over to my place, Melanie cooks up a feast. 386 00:32:04,595 --> 00:32:08,124 Thanks. But you know those old boys at the VFW... 387 00:32:08,229 --> 00:32:10,338 expect me every Thanksgiving. 388 00:32:10,442 --> 00:32:12,510 Forget it. See you, Chuck. 389 00:32:12,978 --> 00:32:14,638 - Moron. - Putz. 390 00:32:17,775 --> 00:32:19,317 Tell me something. 391 00:32:19,485 --> 00:32:21,183 - Do I stink? - Yeah. 392 00:32:21,288 --> 00:32:24,149 Not you, smartass. Didn't ask you. 393 00:32:27,409 --> 00:32:30,743 I could smell it in the car. This stink. 394 00:32:31,246 --> 00:32:32,409 Is it me? 395 00:32:34,416 --> 00:32:35,416 Yep. 396 00:32:38,629 --> 00:32:39,629 Damn. 397 00:32:54,979 --> 00:32:57,267 What the hell is that? 398 00:32:57,856 --> 00:32:59,600 For Christ's sake. 399 00:33:25,467 --> 00:33:27,010 Gustafson. 400 00:33:33,058 --> 00:33:35,217 You schmuck. 401 00:33:49,074 --> 00:33:51,909 Damn disgrace the way they coach that team. 402 00:34:08,636 --> 00:34:09,798 Stay there. 403 00:34:10,012 --> 00:34:11,969 Stay there, you little bastard. 404 00:34:24,652 --> 00:34:26,312 It's the Green Hornet. 405 00:34:28,656 --> 00:34:31,989 - How are you, Punky? - Hey, buttercup. 406 00:34:32,284 --> 00:34:34,076 Give me two packs of Camels... 407 00:34:34,244 --> 00:34:38,289 and a cup of your special coffee, you love muffin. 408 00:34:38,540 --> 00:34:41,110 You should smoke filter cigarettes. 409 00:34:41,214 --> 00:34:45,788 Yeah, well, I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care? 410 00:34:46,799 --> 00:34:48,459 Thank you, dear. 411 00:35:01,981 --> 00:35:03,523 Max is here. 412 00:35:14,285 --> 00:35:16,324 Come on, love muffin. 413 00:35:22,543 --> 00:35:23,585 Thanks. 414 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,199 - You were always there to save me. - Yeah, right. 415 00:35:28,304 --> 00:35:30,957 When Billy Gerber locked me in the tree house... 416 00:35:31,062 --> 00:35:32,705 you were my knight in shining armor. 417 00:35:32,809 --> 00:35:35,040 And I got a black eye for my effort. 418 00:35:35,144 --> 00:35:37,003 - Let me get that. - There you go. 419 00:35:37,107 --> 00:35:38,963 I always knew, you know. 420 00:35:39,068 --> 00:35:40,222 Knew what? 421 00:35:40,769 --> 00:35:43,474 That you had a crush on me since 6th grade. 422 00:35:43,689 --> 00:35:46,220 You watched me with your dad's binoculars. 423 00:35:46,324 --> 00:35:48,124 What? No. 424 00:35:49,445 --> 00:35:53,145 You never wondered why my curtains were open just enough? 425 00:35:53,407 --> 00:35:55,198 I thought I was lucky. 426 00:35:56,035 --> 00:35:58,276 I just did it to torture you. 427 00:35:59,496 --> 00:36:01,987 Well, you succeeded wonderfully. 428 00:36:02,249 --> 00:36:04,325 How come you never asked me out? 429 00:36:07,796 --> 00:36:09,450 Hey, Mel. Hi, Jakie. 430 00:36:09,554 --> 00:36:12,039 Mel, is the turkey supposed to be smoking? 431 00:36:12,593 --> 00:36:15,084 I better run. See you. 432 00:36:16,847 --> 00:36:18,306 Happy Thanksgiving. 433 00:36:19,141 --> 00:36:21,211 - How are you? - Good. 434 00:36:21,315 --> 00:36:23,433 They're getting a divorce. 435 00:36:23,646 --> 00:36:27,892 Mel and Mike are divorcing. They call it a separation, but it's divorce. 436 00:36:28,108 --> 00:36:30,315 I'm sorry to hear that. 437 00:36:30,819 --> 00:36:34,023 - So, are you seeing anyone special? - Me? 438 00:36:35,908 --> 00:36:39,526 - No, I guess not. Nobody serious. - What do you know? 439 00:36:41,497 --> 00:36:43,573 We got a new neighbor, did you hear? 440 00:36:43,916 --> 00:36:46,288 Everyone in town is talking about this woman. 441 00:36:47,127 --> 00:36:49,618 She hasn't been out since 11:20. 442 00:36:50,547 --> 00:36:54,082 - What are you doing? Clocking her? - She keeps odd hours. 443 00:36:54,885 --> 00:36:56,833 Very interesting woman. 444 00:36:56,937 --> 00:36:59,087 Sounds like a wacko to me. 445 00:37:00,683 --> 00:37:03,090 I haven't had sex for 15 years. 446 00:37:11,735 --> 00:37:13,527 Could I have some? 447 00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:17,605 - Oh, my... - Too much, Dad? 448 00:37:17,709 --> 00:37:19,021 That was plenty. 449 00:37:19,125 --> 00:37:21,316 Give Jakie some leftovers to take home. 450 00:37:21,420 --> 00:37:22,982 He'll have his own leftovers. 451 00:37:23,086 --> 00:37:27,030 That pre-cooked stuff his old man gets? That tastes like cardboard. 452 00:37:28,711 --> 00:37:30,869 Why don't you go and talk to her? 453 00:37:31,213 --> 00:37:32,588 Talk to who? 454 00:37:33,924 --> 00:37:36,327 You spent half the meal staring out the window. 455 00:37:36,431 --> 00:37:37,474 Squirrels. 456 00:37:37,578 --> 00:37:40,250 The squirrels on her roof. That's what I was staring at. 457 00:37:40,355 --> 00:37:45,419 You're a handsome guy with a nice house, a good pension. You got a lot to offer. 458 00:37:45,523 --> 00:37:47,725 Well, I got something to offer her. 459 00:37:51,066 --> 00:37:53,059 I got zip to offer her. 460 00:37:54,111 --> 00:37:56,353 I can't tell if this is done. 461 00:37:59,074 --> 00:38:01,992 Do you know how many minutes this needs to cook? 462 00:38:02,620 --> 00:38:03,948 Getting hungry. 463 00:38:07,416 --> 00:38:10,452 Sure be nice to have some turkey right about now. 464 00:38:12,338 --> 00:38:14,701 Remember the turkey your mother used to make? 465 00:38:14,806 --> 00:38:18,333 - Oh, yeah. - Damn, she was a good cook. 466 00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:22,005 - You remember the stuffing? - The best. 467 00:38:22,181 --> 00:38:25,098 How about those potato latkes? 468 00:38:27,019 --> 00:38:29,217 I thought you said Chuck was going to VFW. 469 00:38:29,321 --> 00:38:31,549 - He is. - I don't think so. 470 00:38:31,654 --> 00:38:33,475 What are you talking about? 471 00:38:33,817 --> 00:38:35,638 Looks like he's making a house call. 472 00:38:35,742 --> 00:38:36,742 What? 473 00:38:39,031 --> 00:38:40,140 What in the... 474 00:38:40,245 --> 00:38:42,032 Hell is he doing there? 475 00:38:44,787 --> 00:38:47,234 - He's going to do it. - So? 476 00:38:47,338 --> 00:38:48,338 What? 477 00:38:48,999 --> 00:38:51,485 What is he doing in that crazy... 478 00:38:51,589 --> 00:38:54,372 - Son of a... - Jealous? 479 00:39:00,970 --> 00:39:02,570 He's in. 480 00:39:05,265 --> 00:39:08,878 Looks like Chuck's taking old one-eye to the optometrist. 481 00:39:08,983 --> 00:39:11,054 Oh, Jeez, Dad. What? 482 00:39:44,263 --> 00:39:46,469 Chuck, where are you? 483 00:39:47,266 --> 00:39:49,009 Hello, fellas. 484 00:39:50,644 --> 00:39:53,135 - Some game last night. - Double overtime. 485 00:39:53,272 --> 00:39:56,890 - Blackhawks were killers, weren't they? - Did you catch the game? 486 00:39:58,611 --> 00:39:59,611 No. 487 00:40:00,571 --> 00:40:03,572 Sure, you were with the guys at the VFW. 488 00:40:04,283 --> 00:40:08,530 How was the turkey at the VFW this year, Chucky? 489 00:40:10,039 --> 00:40:12,115 The turkey this year... 490 00:40:12,499 --> 00:40:14,207 was delicious. 491 00:40:16,754 --> 00:40:18,657 - Come on. - We saw you. 492 00:40:18,761 --> 00:40:20,846 - You were there half the night. - What'd you do? 493 00:40:20,951 --> 00:40:23,161 - What's it like in there? - What'd she say? 494 00:40:23,265 --> 00:40:24,665 Fellas. 495 00:40:25,054 --> 00:40:27,623 Some experiences in life are too rich... 496 00:40:27,727 --> 00:40:31,056 and too beautiful to put into words. 497 00:40:31,477 --> 00:40:33,546 What does that mean exactly? 498 00:40:33,651 --> 00:40:38,224 Could have been either of you if you just had the guts to ask. 499 00:40:39,944 --> 00:40:44,061 - You and she? - I'm not talking about sex, dummies. 500 00:40:44,165 --> 00:40:45,947 - No? - Of course not. 501 00:40:48,577 --> 00:40:50,071 I get it. 502 00:40:50,996 --> 00:40:53,570 Your old pal failed you, Chuck? 503 00:40:53,916 --> 00:40:56,454 Couldn't rise to the occasion? 504 00:40:56,835 --> 00:41:00,781 - Yes, the spirit was willing... - But the flesh was... 505 00:41:00,885 --> 00:41:01,885 Weak. 506 00:41:03,467 --> 00:41:05,625 Okay, if it wasn't sex what was it? 507 00:41:09,014 --> 00:41:10,971 It was an awakening. 508 00:41:12,810 --> 00:41:15,801 Ariel reminded me that I was alive. 509 00:41:15,906 --> 00:41:20,552 That I was a man full of energy, love, and passion. 510 00:41:20,656 --> 00:41:23,356 It was like being young again. 511 00:41:23,487 --> 00:41:25,645 If only for a moment. 512 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,236 Couldn't get it up, huh? 513 00:41:34,290 --> 00:41:36,578 Get out of here, both of you. 514 00:41:36,959 --> 00:41:38,418 Yeah, I'll see you. 515 00:41:45,134 --> 00:41:47,672 - So long. - Hey, boys. 516 00:41:49,305 --> 00:41:52,638 That's not just a woman living across your street. 517 00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:55,093 She's an angel. 518 00:41:56,353 --> 00:41:58,512 Angel, right. Take it easy. 519 00:42:01,233 --> 00:42:02,608 See you. 520 00:43:20,980 --> 00:43:22,557 Holy moly. 521 00:43:23,148 --> 00:43:26,972 Look at all the crap you... Excuse me. The stuff you got here. 522 00:43:27,076 --> 00:43:30,687 - Well, it's my inspiration. - You're an artist? 523 00:43:31,615 --> 00:43:32,815 I try. 524 00:43:33,367 --> 00:43:37,530 I used to teach courses in Expressionism at Berkeley. 525 00:43:37,746 --> 00:43:40,866 But now I'm back to the classics of literature. 526 00:43:41,250 --> 00:43:43,289 Berkeley, that explains it. 527 00:43:43,752 --> 00:43:45,081 Oh, my God. 528 00:43:45,754 --> 00:43:46,754 What? 529 00:43:47,631 --> 00:43:49,707 Your TV. It's got no guts. 530 00:43:50,050 --> 00:43:51,371 I took them out. 531 00:43:51,476 --> 00:43:55,003 How could you do that to a '54 Super Zenith? 532 00:43:55,389 --> 00:43:57,465 This TV is a classic. 533 00:43:57,641 --> 00:44:00,642 I can fix it for you if you wanted me to. 534 00:44:00,769 --> 00:44:03,716 That's what I used to do. I was a TV repairman. 535 00:44:03,820 --> 00:44:06,732 That's so sweet, Max, but... 536 00:44:07,026 --> 00:44:09,564 I think it works quite well... 537 00:44:09,695 --> 00:44:11,438 just the way it is. 538 00:44:13,490 --> 00:44:16,112 How the hell does she see any shows? 539 00:44:23,083 --> 00:44:24,542 Holy moly. 540 00:44:29,923 --> 00:44:31,204 I see you've met Ernest. 541 00:44:31,759 --> 00:44:34,380 - Who? - The model was my husband. 542 00:44:35,304 --> 00:44:38,424 He sure wasn't pleased about modeling in the nude. 543 00:44:38,599 --> 00:44:41,386 Took quite a bit of prompting, I must say. 544 00:44:42,811 --> 00:44:44,056 He's... 545 00:44:44,688 --> 00:44:46,064 Passed on. 546 00:44:46,357 --> 00:44:48,017 Five years ago. 547 00:44:50,611 --> 00:44:52,438 Would you like some coffee? 548 00:44:53,238 --> 00:44:54,781 Cream and sugar? 549 00:45:09,004 --> 00:45:11,922 Sure moved around a lot the last few years, didn't you? 550 00:45:12,257 --> 00:45:16,664 Yes, I think it's exciting to experience new things... 551 00:45:16,768 --> 00:45:19,792 new places, and meet new people. 552 00:45:19,896 --> 00:45:21,171 Like you. 553 00:45:25,271 --> 00:45:26,515 Do you paint? 554 00:45:27,064 --> 00:45:30,018 Paint? Me? Sure do. 555 00:45:30,401 --> 00:45:32,892 I paint the shed every spring. 556 00:45:33,570 --> 00:45:35,647 - You get it? - I get it. 557 00:45:36,782 --> 00:45:38,360 I mean, you know... 558 00:45:38,659 --> 00:45:40,201 pictures, paintings. 559 00:45:40,953 --> 00:45:42,412 What for? 560 00:45:43,163 --> 00:45:46,081 Everyone needs some form of... 561 00:45:47,001 --> 00:45:48,246 release. 562 00:45:49,545 --> 00:45:50,873 I fish. 563 00:45:51,922 --> 00:45:52,922 Fish? 564 00:45:57,261 --> 00:46:00,796 Yeah, fish. I can see the beauty in that. 565 00:46:01,223 --> 00:46:02,223 Yeah? 566 00:46:06,186 --> 00:46:07,930 Miss Truax... 567 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:12,644 would you honor me by accompanying me to my ice shanty tomorrow? 568 00:46:16,071 --> 00:46:18,064 I'd be honored. 569 00:46:26,915 --> 00:46:30,000 - See you tomorrow. - Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. 570 00:46:31,795 --> 00:46:33,338 Be careful. 571 00:46:34,506 --> 00:46:38,247 We're having a heat wave A tropical heat wave 572 00:46:38,351 --> 00:46:40,835 We're having a heat wave 573 00:46:44,141 --> 00:46:46,505 - I can't hold it. - Reel him in. 574 00:46:46,609 --> 00:46:48,800 - I can't hold him, Max. - Work him. 575 00:46:48,904 --> 00:46:52,976 - I am trying. I can't hold it. - Reel it in. 576 00:46:54,068 --> 00:46:56,553 - I'm trying but I can't. - Okay, give me the pole. 577 00:46:56,658 --> 00:46:59,145 Hold on. Not on your life. 578 00:46:59,698 --> 00:47:04,491 Pull it. You got to pull it. No, don't pull too hard. That's it. 579 00:47:08,707 --> 00:47:10,166 Morning, John. 580 00:47:11,961 --> 00:47:13,752 Morning, Punky. 581 00:47:16,340 --> 00:47:20,080 - I almost lost him. - Max, he's just magnificent. 582 00:47:20,184 --> 00:47:23,593 He's a record breaker. You've got a 3-footer. 583 00:47:25,265 --> 00:47:27,546 I can see the beauty in this now. 584 00:47:27,650 --> 00:47:30,976 - Can you see it? - Yes, the lure. No, the fight. 585 00:47:31,230 --> 00:47:33,344 - Wait till I show the guys. - The catch. 586 00:47:33,449 --> 00:47:35,848 - What a catch. - And then the release. 587 00:47:37,027 --> 00:47:40,557 - What? There's no release. - Yes, it's beautiful. 588 00:47:40,661 --> 00:47:44,404 No, what's beautiful is this monster on my wall stuffed. 589 00:47:45,494 --> 00:47:48,530 There can be no stuffing. This is a live creature. 590 00:47:48,747 --> 00:47:51,119 Full of courage and life. 591 00:47:51,417 --> 00:47:54,702 Nobody will believe me. Let me get a camera. 592 00:47:55,212 --> 00:47:58,369 - I hear the water calling it back. - Where is it? 593 00:47:58,474 --> 00:48:00,164 - Here we go. - Wait. 594 00:48:00,268 --> 00:48:03,011 - Calling. - Here. Hold it. 595 00:48:14,481 --> 00:48:15,524 Hey, Pop. 596 00:48:21,196 --> 00:48:23,901 Hey. Just finishing breakfast. 597 00:48:24,116 --> 00:48:25,658 So I see. 598 00:48:26,452 --> 00:48:29,369 Colder than a witch's titty out there. 599 00:48:30,623 --> 00:48:32,405 Where did you get this fishing pole? 600 00:48:32,509 --> 00:48:35,287 I snagged it about an hour ago. 601 00:48:35,711 --> 00:48:38,083 The only damn thing I caught all day. 602 00:48:43,677 --> 00:48:46,215 Chuck, guess what Pop found. 603 00:48:59,318 --> 00:49:02,023 You forgot to unlock the back door, you dummy. 604 00:49:20,005 --> 00:49:23,457 Isn't it wonderful to have a little adventure every day? 605 00:49:23,634 --> 00:49:26,293 You're one hell of a fisherman, Ariel. 606 00:49:26,397 --> 00:49:28,296 I learned from the best. 607 00:49:28,722 --> 00:49:31,208 Hope you weren't mad at me for putting them back. 608 00:49:31,312 --> 00:49:34,345 That's okay. Gustafson does the same thing. 609 00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:38,352 He just keeps the ones he eats. That's what he says. 610 00:49:38,482 --> 00:49:40,558 I think he never catches them. 611 00:49:42,736 --> 00:49:45,227 I think we're going to be great friends. 612 00:49:48,242 --> 00:49:51,445 Friends is good. That's good, isn't it? 613 00:49:52,746 --> 00:49:55,693 How about some supper tonight? After your class, I mean. 614 00:49:55,797 --> 00:50:00,252 Thank you so much, but I already have made plans. I'm sorry. 615 00:50:01,380 --> 00:50:03,953 - I'll take a rain check. - That's a deal. 616 00:50:05,676 --> 00:50:08,677 Until we meet again, my dear Ariel. 617 00:50:10,097 --> 00:50:11,212 Goodbye. 618 00:50:12,808 --> 00:50:14,717 Watch out. Don't slip. 619 00:50:26,363 --> 00:50:29,697 Well, Gustafson, looks like the best man won. 620 00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:35,492 You always were a lousy loser. 621 00:50:37,416 --> 00:50:38,696 He's dead. 622 00:50:39,793 --> 00:50:42,201 - What? Who? - Chuck. 623 00:50:43,297 --> 00:50:44,756 Chuck? How? 624 00:50:45,799 --> 00:50:47,875 Last night in his sleep. 625 00:50:48,260 --> 00:50:49,671 In his sleep. 626 00:50:51,263 --> 00:50:52,841 Lucky bastard. 627 00:50:53,098 --> 00:50:56,589 You might have known if you hadn't been out with that minx. 628 00:50:56,694 --> 00:50:59,888 Hey, it ain't my fault. Chuck was my friend, too. 629 00:51:00,314 --> 00:51:02,634 You call yourself a friend, you bastard. 630 00:51:02,738 --> 00:51:05,430 Watch your mouth, you dumb Swede. 631 00:51:05,535 --> 00:51:07,734 Don't tell me what to do. 632 00:51:08,322 --> 00:51:10,142 Big man with the axe in your hand. 633 00:51:10,247 --> 00:51:13,526 Axe? You want to clock me? You think you can take me? Come on. 634 00:51:13,661 --> 00:51:16,858 All right. 1937, at Todd Field... 635 00:51:16,962 --> 00:51:22,027 I kicked your ass after football practice when you stole my liniment. 636 00:51:22,132 --> 00:51:25,324 - I kicked your ass and I can do it again. - Bullshit. 637 00:51:25,429 --> 00:51:27,498 Give it your best shot, shrimp. 638 00:51:30,761 --> 00:51:32,220 It's not worth it. 639 00:51:33,681 --> 00:51:36,053 Get out of there. 640 00:51:43,941 --> 00:51:44,941 Damn. 641 00:51:46,277 --> 00:51:49,692 He has the intelligence quotient of a newt. 642 00:52:03,836 --> 00:52:06,541 Shrimp thinks he can get funny with me. 643 00:52:08,007 --> 00:52:09,501 Left hook... 644 00:52:09,675 --> 00:52:11,412 right cross... 645 00:52:11,516 --> 00:52:13,088 and dump him. 646 00:52:24,189 --> 00:52:25,814 I'm going to kill him. 647 00:52:26,859 --> 00:52:29,148 God damn you, Goldman, you... 648 00:52:31,989 --> 00:52:34,769 I'm Elliot Snyder of the Internal Revenue Service. 649 00:52:34,873 --> 00:52:37,358 I'm asking you to accompany me to my office. 650 00:54:04,206 --> 00:54:06,412 I was wondering where you were. 651 00:54:08,294 --> 00:54:11,211 I had a little business. 652 00:54:11,380 --> 00:54:13,456 I hope it went all right. 653 00:54:16,010 --> 00:54:18,382 - What are you doing? - Cooking. 654 00:54:24,935 --> 00:54:27,421 Wait, I can't have anything spicy. 655 00:54:27,525 --> 00:54:29,893 If it's too exciting, I'm up all night. 656 00:54:30,232 --> 00:54:32,937 Good. I'm making Szechwan. 657 00:54:39,199 --> 00:54:43,733 From the moment I saw you, I could feel that we had the same kind of aura. 658 00:54:43,837 --> 00:54:46,996 - That we share something special. - Teaching. 659 00:54:47,291 --> 00:54:50,494 39 years I taught American History at Wabasha High. 660 00:54:51,128 --> 00:54:53,204 History, it's so romantic. 661 00:54:54,298 --> 00:54:56,967 Great dental plan. 662 00:55:00,846 --> 00:55:03,293 The ideas you brought to those young minds. 663 00:55:03,398 --> 00:55:06,012 Kids think they know it all, right? 664 00:55:06,352 --> 00:55:09,509 Once in a while you reach one. You touch them somehow. 665 00:55:09,613 --> 00:55:11,636 - I did that once. - Really? 666 00:55:11,740 --> 00:55:13,635 It was my Roosevelt's New Deal lecture. 667 00:55:13,739 --> 00:55:17,068 I touched a kid on the back of his head while he was snoring. 668 00:55:17,613 --> 00:55:19,072 You're so bad. 669 00:55:22,368 --> 00:55:23,826 You know... 670 00:55:25,704 --> 00:55:28,076 Chuck, he... 671 00:55:31,251 --> 00:55:32,414 I know. 672 00:55:34,171 --> 00:55:38,327 We can be thankful that we had the privilege of knowing him... 673 00:55:38,432 --> 00:55:40,169 while he was here. 674 00:55:48,143 --> 00:55:49,472 To Chuck. 675 00:55:51,063 --> 00:55:52,723 Yes, to Chuck. 676 00:56:03,367 --> 00:56:06,192 Thank you, John. It was a wonderful evening. 677 00:56:06,296 --> 00:56:07,864 Thank you, Ariel. 678 00:56:25,973 --> 00:56:29,003 Pop, you think I should I call her? 679 00:56:29,107 --> 00:56:30,679 - What? - The woman. 680 00:56:30,936 --> 00:56:34,139 Well, let me tell you something, John. 681 00:56:34,356 --> 00:56:37,061 The first 90 years or so... 682 00:56:37,234 --> 00:56:39,357 they go by pretty fast. 683 00:56:40,404 --> 00:56:43,728 - What? - The first 90 years go by fast. 684 00:56:43,832 --> 00:56:47,065 How would you know? You're just a damn kid. 685 00:56:47,169 --> 00:56:49,070 I didn't say it, you did. 686 00:56:49,204 --> 00:56:51,984 Well, they do. They go fast. 687 00:56:52,089 --> 00:56:54,152 Then one day you wake up... 688 00:56:54,256 --> 00:56:55,911 and you realize... 689 00:56:56,045 --> 00:56:59,129 that you're not 81 anymore. 690 00:56:59,256 --> 00:57:02,203 You begin to count the minutes rather than the days... 691 00:57:02,307 --> 00:57:06,163 and you realize that pretty soon you'll be gone. 692 00:57:06,267 --> 00:57:09,709 And that all you have, see, is the experiences. 693 00:57:09,814 --> 00:57:13,592 That's all there is. Everything. The experiences. 694 00:57:19,318 --> 00:57:21,357 You mount the woman, son. 695 00:57:23,238 --> 00:57:24,733 Or else... 696 00:57:24,990 --> 00:57:27,197 send her out to me. 697 00:58:08,782 --> 00:58:13,076 I happened to come by these two tickets for the Gopher game. 698 00:58:16,164 --> 00:58:18,655 Ever play much ice hockey? 699 00:58:25,382 --> 00:58:27,458 We had an appointment. 700 00:58:36,643 --> 00:58:39,348 There she is. Wabasha. 701 00:58:42,816 --> 00:58:44,886 It is just beautiful. 702 00:58:44,990 --> 00:58:49,196 Yeah, from up here. I used to camp up here when I was a kid. 703 00:58:52,951 --> 00:58:54,576 What are you thinking? 704 00:58:54,911 --> 00:58:56,406 I'm sorry. 705 00:58:57,456 --> 00:58:58,784 It's the snow... 706 00:59:00,584 --> 00:59:03,704 reminded me of the last Christmas I spent with my husband. 707 00:59:09,259 --> 00:59:12,456 - Are you all right? - Yes, an angel. 708 00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:15,721 - What? - I'm making a snow angel, remember? 709 00:59:17,225 --> 00:59:18,470 I remember. 710 00:59:32,824 --> 00:59:34,616 Do you believe in angels? 711 00:59:37,204 --> 00:59:38,995 They're all around us. 712 00:59:40,123 --> 00:59:43,208 You've got to look hard but they're there... 713 00:59:44,503 --> 00:59:47,254 whenever anything good happens to us. 714 00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:50,500 I think I see one. 715 01:00:08,819 --> 01:00:11,606 Look at how large Papa 's bald spot is. 716 01:00:12,030 --> 01:00:14,865 Actually does look like hair growing there. 717 01:00:15,033 --> 01:00:19,327 ... you could imagine problems that will become reality. 718 01:00:40,100 --> 01:00:44,098 Give it all you've got. Again and again and again. 719 01:00:49,151 --> 01:00:51,357 I'll have you mated in three moves. 720 01:00:51,528 --> 01:00:55,360 Shouldn't we get to know each other a little better first? 721 01:00:58,493 --> 01:01:02,028 You have a wonderful smile. You should wear it more often. 722 01:01:03,999 --> 01:01:06,668 I bring it out on special occasions. 723 01:01:09,796 --> 01:01:11,290 Tell me, who's this? 724 01:01:11,673 --> 01:01:13,215 - What? - Over here. 725 01:01:13,425 --> 01:01:15,583 That's my dad. That's Pop. 726 01:01:16,011 --> 01:01:18,919 This handsome guy, you know him, right? 727 01:01:19,023 --> 01:01:22,421 My daughter Melanie and her mother, and Melanie and her husband, Mike. 728 01:01:22,526 --> 01:01:23,846 She's beautiful. 729 01:01:23,977 --> 01:01:26,047 Who are these people here? 730 01:01:26,151 --> 01:01:29,396 That little girl is Alexandra, my granddaughter. 731 01:01:30,442 --> 01:01:32,898 - My son, Brian. - He's so handsome. 732 01:01:33,528 --> 01:01:35,060 Lost him in Vietnam. 733 01:01:35,164 --> 01:01:38,026 - I'm so sorry. - It's okay. It's all right. 734 01:01:39,534 --> 01:01:40,993 These little guys. 735 01:01:41,745 --> 01:01:43,453 That's me and the moron. 736 01:01:44,081 --> 01:01:46,785 Of course it's Max. He's ugly isn't he? 737 01:01:46,958 --> 01:01:50,908 - You mean you were friends? - I was 10 and didn't know any better. 738 01:01:52,339 --> 01:01:55,830 What can make two grown men spend most of their lives fighting? 739 01:01:55,934 --> 01:01:58,464 - Guess. - A woman. 740 01:01:59,346 --> 01:02:00,674 How romantic. 741 01:02:01,348 --> 01:02:03,969 No, it wasn't romantic at all. 742 01:02:06,436 --> 01:02:08,725 What did I know, I was just a kid. 743 01:02:09,314 --> 01:02:11,354 Which I am not anymore. 744 01:02:25,997 --> 01:02:28,074 I think it's kind of late. 745 01:02:29,626 --> 01:02:32,740 Oh, yeah. I guess... 746 01:02:32,844 --> 01:02:34,498 It's time for bed. 747 01:02:39,386 --> 01:02:42,221 God, you are dumb, dumb, dumb. 748 01:02:46,727 --> 01:02:48,933 Ariel, I'm sorry that... 749 01:02:53,483 --> 01:02:55,392 I thought you said... 750 01:02:55,652 --> 01:02:57,728 I said it's time for bed. 751 01:02:58,822 --> 01:03:01,481 Well, wait, what about... 752 01:03:01,585 --> 01:03:03,645 - What? - Well, you've been seeing... 753 01:03:03,749 --> 01:03:04,749 Max? 754 01:03:05,370 --> 01:03:06,995 He's just my friend. 755 01:03:10,792 --> 01:03:13,283 The last man I slept with was my husband. 756 01:03:16,882 --> 01:03:19,682 Wait a minute. 757 01:03:23,972 --> 01:03:25,763 I'm not prepared. 758 01:03:26,558 --> 01:03:30,223 These days, they say you have to do safe sex. 759 01:03:31,855 --> 01:03:34,144 When was the last time you made love? 760 01:03:36,568 --> 01:03:38,608 October 4... 761 01:03:42,199 --> 01:03:43,199 1978. 762 01:03:46,370 --> 01:03:48,492 I think we're safe. 763 01:04:21,446 --> 01:04:22,691 Good morning. 764 01:04:23,782 --> 01:04:25,241 Are those for me? 765 01:04:25,784 --> 01:04:28,701 They're just beautiful. Thank you. 766 01:04:29,329 --> 01:04:31,867 They're for you. I got them for you. 767 01:04:31,998 --> 01:04:34,572 Thank you. How sweet. 768 01:04:38,213 --> 01:04:39,873 Got them for you. 769 01:04:46,263 --> 01:04:48,054 Snake in the grass. 770 01:05:31,516 --> 01:05:33,675 Burn, baby, burn. 771 01:06:26,321 --> 01:06:27,364 Creep. 772 01:07:19,708 --> 01:07:23,373 Holy shit. Max. Stop the car, you idiot. 773 01:07:23,879 --> 01:07:26,833 Look out, Goldman's gone nuts. 774 01:07:31,094 --> 01:07:34,418 - Max, you've really lost it. - Dirty little bastard. 775 01:07:34,523 --> 01:07:36,258 Are you out of your mind? 776 01:08:04,294 --> 01:08:06,370 He belongs in a rubber room. 777 01:08:13,178 --> 01:08:15,669 I fixed your fishing pole. 778 01:08:16,056 --> 01:08:18,420 Who cares about a damn fishing pole? 779 01:08:18,524 --> 01:08:20,299 You can shove that pole. 780 01:08:20,403 --> 01:08:24,142 You think a lousy old pole is going to replace her? 781 01:08:27,609 --> 01:08:29,151 Are you crazy? 782 01:08:30,654 --> 01:08:34,183 Don't egg him on. Go back to your fishing and leave him alone. 783 01:08:34,288 --> 01:08:36,358 We'll settle this thing. 784 01:08:37,536 --> 01:08:38,698 Cut it out. 785 01:08:43,333 --> 01:08:45,789 Shrimp, you're not going anywhere. 786 01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:51,168 Come on. 787 01:09:00,392 --> 01:09:04,437 - You broke my nose. - I didn't break your damn nose. 788 01:09:05,731 --> 01:09:08,472 Look at that. What the hell has gotten into you? 789 01:09:08,576 --> 01:09:10,720 - You stole her, didn't you? - What? 790 01:09:10,824 --> 01:09:12,099 She's mine. 791 01:09:12,696 --> 01:09:14,228 - Says who? - Says me. 792 01:09:14,332 --> 01:09:15,982 She came to me. 793 01:09:16,616 --> 01:09:19,314 You're stealing her away just like May. 794 01:09:19,418 --> 01:09:22,358 Could I remind you, Einstein, May was no prize. 795 01:09:22,462 --> 01:09:23,565 She was to me. 796 01:09:23,669 --> 01:09:26,573 I was married to her for 20 years. She was no prize. 797 01:09:26,678 --> 01:09:29,660 - She was to me. - That's why you are a moron. 798 01:09:29,764 --> 01:09:33,329 If you'd stayed with May you wouldn't have had Amy, who was a good woman. 799 01:09:33,433 --> 01:09:36,250 - She was the best. - And more loyal than May ever was. 800 01:09:36,354 --> 01:09:37,507 - Absolutely. - So. 801 01:09:37,637 --> 01:09:39,096 So what? 802 01:09:53,528 --> 01:09:55,106 Well, did you? 803 01:09:55,697 --> 01:09:56,697 What? 804 01:09:57,157 --> 01:09:58,402 You know. 805 01:09:58,867 --> 01:10:02,480 - That's a private matter. - Private, my foot. Did you? 806 01:10:02,584 --> 01:10:04,527 ...all I can tell you. - You better tell me. 807 01:10:04,631 --> 01:10:07,320 Okay, we danced the horizontal mambo. 808 01:10:07,425 --> 01:10:10,917 It was the greatest sex I ever had in my life. Are you happy? 809 01:10:24,726 --> 01:10:27,015 Drop that fish. 810 01:10:30,190 --> 01:10:34,022 Don't make me have to separate you two again. 811 01:10:35,362 --> 01:10:37,687 Go to your shanties, all of you. 812 01:10:37,948 --> 01:10:40,190 You're scaring the fish away. 813 01:10:40,742 --> 01:10:41,940 Damn kids. 814 01:10:44,663 --> 01:10:47,996 Kids. You can't live with them, can't shoot them. 815 01:10:51,336 --> 01:10:54,373 How you going to take care of her, Gustafson? 816 01:10:56,174 --> 01:11:00,219 How are you going to support her when the IRS takes your house away? 817 01:11:04,307 --> 01:11:08,175 I can't wait around for another Amy. I ain't got time. 818 01:12:01,281 --> 01:12:03,238 This time you win. 819 01:12:28,975 --> 01:12:33,353 If you're not going to keep our date tonight, I'll bring the date to you. 820 01:12:34,064 --> 01:12:37,677 You promised to come over and give me the New Deal lecture... 821 01:12:37,781 --> 01:12:40,148 - and like a good student... - What's that? 822 01:12:41,321 --> 01:12:42,364 A gift. 823 01:12:43,407 --> 01:12:45,031 A snow angel. 824 01:12:46,410 --> 01:12:48,070 You inspired it. 825 01:12:53,083 --> 01:12:54,542 I can't accept it. 826 01:12:55,669 --> 01:12:57,044 Why not? 827 01:13:03,135 --> 01:13:06,551 It might be a very good idea if we didn't see each other. 828 01:13:06,930 --> 01:13:11,758 For a while. Give each of us a chance to be alone and... 829 01:13:13,103 --> 01:13:14,763 But I thought... 830 01:13:15,105 --> 01:13:19,316 God damn it. In the first place I'm too old for you. Okay? 831 01:13:20,444 --> 01:13:23,435 I don't like you coming over here any time you feel like it. 832 01:13:23,539 --> 01:13:26,650 I don't like you hanging around here all day long. 833 01:13:27,534 --> 01:13:30,321 I'm not like you. I'm not afraid to be alone. 834 01:13:30,620 --> 01:13:32,696 I am not afraid to be alone. 835 01:13:32,956 --> 01:13:35,948 I just prefer to experience things... 836 01:13:36,052 --> 01:13:39,738 and not watch them on television or out the windows like you do. 837 01:13:39,842 --> 01:13:42,324 Don't you understand? I like being alone. 838 01:13:42,428 --> 01:13:44,298 I understand. 839 01:13:44,676 --> 01:13:46,246 I understand completely. 840 01:13:46,351 --> 01:13:49,713 - You don't know a damn thing about me. - I do, too. 841 01:13:50,140 --> 01:13:55,217 I know the only things in life that you regret are the risks you don't take. 842 01:13:55,354 --> 01:13:59,434 But you wouldn't understand that. Because you're too pig-headed. 843 01:14:46,947 --> 01:14:47,947 Damn. 844 01:14:54,538 --> 01:14:56,524 How are you doing? 845 01:14:56,628 --> 01:14:59,403 - Merry Christmas. - Congratulations on the election. 846 01:14:59,507 --> 01:15:02,206 That's old news. Where have you been? 847 01:15:02,337 --> 01:15:06,666 I had all this stuff that I had to get taken care of. 848 01:15:07,676 --> 01:15:09,956 Melanie said she's going to come by tonight. 849 01:15:10,061 --> 01:15:12,622 - You, know, Christmas Eve. Around 9:00. - Is that right? 850 01:15:12,727 --> 01:15:16,138 - Why don't you drop over later? - I'll do that. 851 01:15:31,700 --> 01:15:36,190 This neighborhood will be a lot safer without that snowmobile around. 852 01:15:36,294 --> 01:15:38,577 Hi, Jacob. Hello, putz. 853 01:15:40,292 --> 01:15:41,952 Merry Christmas, John. 854 01:15:47,883 --> 01:15:50,421 Your cat crapped on my steps again. 855 01:15:50,552 --> 01:15:53,038 Who says you can't train a cat? 856 01:15:53,142 --> 01:15:57,301 It's a warning. If it happens again I'll punch you in the nose. 857 01:15:58,643 --> 01:16:00,303 He started it. 858 01:16:19,039 --> 01:16:21,780 Where's Santa's favorite little girl? 859 01:16:21,884 --> 01:16:23,417 Merry Christmas, Dad. 860 01:16:25,837 --> 01:16:26,880 Hi, John. 861 01:16:28,715 --> 01:16:30,589 What, no twinkle lights? 862 01:16:33,887 --> 01:16:35,844 I forgot about them this year. 863 01:16:37,808 --> 01:16:39,266 Be polite. 864 01:16:41,395 --> 01:16:43,387 Merry Christmas. 865 01:16:46,316 --> 01:16:48,098 Can I put Allie in your bed? 866 01:16:48,202 --> 01:16:50,346 - Sure. - Good night, baby. 867 01:16:50,450 --> 01:16:53,814 Bedtime. Say good night to Grandpa. 868 01:16:56,910 --> 01:16:58,653 How've you been? 869 01:16:58,829 --> 01:17:01,664 Lousy. Thought you two were getting a divorce. 870 01:17:03,917 --> 01:17:06,408 Actually, it's only a separation. 871 01:17:07,170 --> 01:17:11,120 I had to work some things out for myself before we could work on us. 872 01:17:11,842 --> 01:17:13,715 Did you get it worked out? 873 01:17:18,890 --> 01:17:20,634 As far as I can tell. 874 01:17:23,061 --> 01:17:24,805 That's great, Mike. 875 01:17:26,106 --> 01:17:28,931 Maybe the rest of us should put our lives on hold... 876 01:17:29,035 --> 01:17:32,139 for the next two weeks while you fill up with enough booze... 877 01:17:32,243 --> 01:17:34,858 to make up your mind. 878 01:17:41,121 --> 01:17:42,580 You know... 879 01:17:43,290 --> 01:17:45,072 I think I'll grab a beer. 880 01:17:45,176 --> 01:17:47,574 Grab a beer. It's in the fridge. 881 01:17:50,088 --> 01:17:52,786 - What had gotten into you? - I don't know. 882 01:17:52,890 --> 01:17:54,581 Grab me one, too. 883 01:17:54,686 --> 01:17:57,040 Dad, try and understand... 884 01:17:57,144 --> 01:18:00,045 he says he's all straightened out. 885 01:18:00,149 --> 01:18:04,932 What do I know? I'm 68 years old. I got no house, no wife, no pension. 886 01:18:05,062 --> 01:18:06,338 What are you saying? 887 01:18:06,442 --> 01:18:09,551 I don't know one damn thing, but I know this. 888 01:18:09,656 --> 01:18:14,517 The only things in this life that you regret are the risks you didn't take. 889 01:18:14,621 --> 01:18:16,683 If you see a chance to be happy... 890 01:18:16,787 --> 01:18:20,696 grab it with both hands and to hell with the consequences. 891 01:18:28,085 --> 01:18:31,085 I'll be damned if I can find a bottle opener. 892 01:18:34,424 --> 01:18:37,758 Sweetheart, I'm going to walk down to Slippery's. 893 01:18:40,222 --> 01:18:41,222 What? 894 01:18:47,187 --> 01:18:49,673 Hey, Jakie. Merry Christmas. 895 01:18:49,777 --> 01:18:51,148 Merry Christmas. 896 01:18:52,901 --> 01:18:54,360 Is this a bad time? 897 01:18:54,528 --> 01:18:55,986 I'm sorry. 898 01:18:56,780 --> 01:18:59,937 I don't know what's wrong with him. He just exploded. 899 01:19:00,042 --> 01:19:01,898 You want me to go after him? 900 01:19:02,002 --> 01:19:05,528 He'll cool off down at Slippery's. Come on in. 901 01:19:08,125 --> 01:19:09,323 What's that? 902 01:19:09,876 --> 01:19:12,035 This is broccoli. 903 01:19:12,170 --> 01:19:13,962 Pop didn't have mistletoe. 904 01:19:20,470 --> 01:19:23,922 Mike. Hey! You're next, big guy. 905 01:19:24,099 --> 01:19:25,214 Hi, Stinky. 906 01:19:27,811 --> 01:19:30,802 I just came by to wish you all a Merry Christmas. 907 01:19:30,907 --> 01:19:33,934 That was sweet, Jacob. Wasn't that sweet, Mike? 908 01:19:34,609 --> 01:19:36,816 Sweet and short. 909 01:19:44,202 --> 01:19:45,862 Good to see you, Mike. 910 01:19:50,584 --> 01:19:53,253 - Could I ask you a favor? - Sure. 911 01:19:53,462 --> 01:19:58,088 Could you have a word with your dad? See if they can't make up for Christmas. 912 01:20:00,927 --> 01:20:02,801 Sure. Absolutely. 913 01:20:03,346 --> 01:20:05,006 That would be great. 914 01:20:07,309 --> 01:20:09,598 Merry Christmas. 915 01:20:17,819 --> 01:20:19,895 Over to Gustafson's? 916 01:20:23,533 --> 01:20:25,193 Melanie there? 917 01:20:28,121 --> 01:20:30,410 She look good? 918 01:20:31,083 --> 01:20:34,362 Very. She also looks to still be married. 919 01:20:34,466 --> 01:20:36,288 What? Mike's back? 920 01:20:36,671 --> 01:20:38,130 Looks that way. 921 01:20:39,257 --> 01:20:43,125 Melanie said that John just exploded and walked out. 922 01:20:44,262 --> 01:20:47,216 - So? - So what's going on? 923 01:20:47,391 --> 01:20:50,308 Nothing that shouldn't have happened years ago. 924 01:20:56,525 --> 01:20:59,894 He tried to steal her away from me, but I won. 925 01:21:01,071 --> 01:21:03,229 Could you at least talk to him? 926 01:21:06,410 --> 01:21:09,743 My door is open. He knows where to find me. 927 01:21:11,665 --> 01:21:13,124 He started it. 928 01:21:14,209 --> 01:21:17,543 I don't care who started it, you're going to end it. 929 01:21:17,671 --> 01:21:19,951 I don't like him. I never liked him. 930 01:21:20,055 --> 01:21:22,088 It's Christmas, Pop. 931 01:21:22,759 --> 01:21:26,508 You could go down to Slippery's and make peace with the man. 932 01:21:26,972 --> 01:21:29,593 I'd rather kiss a dead moose's butt. 933 01:21:33,520 --> 01:21:37,684 This 1,500-pound moose is the real thing, folks. 934 01:21:37,816 --> 01:21:42,017 Reared by local volunteer firefighter, Peter Carlson, of Wabasha. 935 01:21:42,121 --> 01:21:45,059 He found it injured while hunting, brought it home... 936 01:21:45,163 --> 01:21:46,948 and raised it in his home. 937 01:21:47,951 --> 01:21:49,410 Merry Christmas. 938 01:22:08,055 --> 01:22:09,255 Moron. 939 01:22:09,639 --> 01:22:10,639 Putz. 940 01:22:11,850 --> 01:22:13,178 Thank you. 941 01:22:15,729 --> 01:22:19,940 Jacob says Mike and Melanie are getting back together. 942 01:22:20,359 --> 01:22:22,679 He doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. 943 01:22:22,783 --> 01:22:24,735 Melanie is getting a divorce. 944 01:22:29,618 --> 01:22:32,535 I got a couple of things I want to tell you. 945 01:22:33,288 --> 01:22:36,324 The reason I came down here tonight is... 946 01:22:36,666 --> 01:22:38,031 I wanted to tell you... 947 01:22:38,136 --> 01:22:39,991 Spit it out. I haven't got all night. 948 01:22:40,095 --> 01:22:41,618 - Don't shout. - I'm not. 949 01:22:41,723 --> 01:22:45,925 Bust my tucchus to come here on Christmas Eve to thank you... 950 01:22:46,051 --> 01:22:48,082 and all you do is shout at me. 951 01:22:48,186 --> 01:22:49,838 To thank me? 952 01:22:50,347 --> 01:22:53,301 All right, I take it back. I don't thank you. 953 01:22:54,184 --> 01:22:56,260 Jesus, it's impossible. 954 01:23:03,735 --> 01:23:05,194 Look, Goldman... 955 01:23:07,239 --> 01:23:09,148 I want to ask you something. 956 01:23:09,366 --> 01:23:14,443 Well, what? I ain't got all night, either. I'm just as busy as you are. 957 01:23:15,414 --> 01:23:16,991 Do you love her? 958 01:23:17,249 --> 01:23:20,240 Do I love her? What does that have to do with anything? 959 01:23:20,345 --> 01:23:22,782 It would make the whole thing worthwhile. 960 01:23:22,887 --> 01:23:28,004 You know something, I think you've lost whatever marbles you ever had. 961 01:23:28,218 --> 01:23:31,332 Do you think you walked on coals for me? 962 01:23:31,436 --> 01:23:34,921 Gave me back my old fishing pole and I said "thank you." 963 01:23:35,025 --> 01:23:36,392 Fishing pole? 964 01:23:37,644 --> 01:23:41,345 Pisses me off you broke it, but schmuck that you are... 965 01:23:41,481 --> 01:23:44,889 I got to be realistic. What's so funny? 966 01:23:44,993 --> 01:23:48,642 You are so blind, you think this is about a stupid fishing pole? 967 01:23:48,746 --> 01:23:50,225 - What's it about? - Forget it. 968 01:23:50,330 --> 01:23:52,771 What do you mean forget it? Don't give me that crap. 969 01:23:52,875 --> 01:23:54,148 I want to know. 970 01:23:54,327 --> 01:23:56,035 - You really want to know? - Yes. 971 01:24:05,672 --> 01:24:06,953 What about her? 972 01:24:08,675 --> 01:24:10,964 You made me feel sorry for you. 973 01:24:13,138 --> 01:24:15,012 She chose me. 974 01:24:15,265 --> 01:24:16,724 She did. 975 01:24:16,892 --> 01:24:20,095 And if anyone says otherwise they're damn liars. 976 01:24:20,228 --> 01:24:23,064 What's the difference? You got her anyway. 977 01:24:29,821 --> 01:24:31,861 What the hell are you looking at? 978 01:24:44,795 --> 01:24:46,253 Stupid moron. 979 01:24:47,339 --> 01:24:49,213 What an idiot. 980 01:25:16,451 --> 01:25:18,740 It makes a difference, damn it. 981 01:25:43,687 --> 01:25:45,763 Dirty rat. Little turd. 982 01:25:54,281 --> 01:25:55,823 Oh, my God. 983 01:26:01,580 --> 01:26:02,825 Are you dead? 984 01:26:04,708 --> 01:26:09,702 Not yet. But I don't want to die looking at your ugly face. 985 01:26:09,963 --> 01:26:12,419 Stay there. Stay right there. 986 01:26:13,383 --> 01:26:15,921 Wait a minute. I'll be right back. 987 01:26:21,975 --> 01:26:25,309 Help. It's an emergency. 988 01:26:25,687 --> 01:26:29,436 Emergency. We need an ambulance. Somebody dial 911. 989 01:26:34,905 --> 01:26:36,897 Could you tell me... 990 01:26:38,950 --> 01:26:40,150 Nurse. 991 01:26:43,330 --> 01:26:45,989 Nurse, could you tell me where Mr. John Gustafson is? 992 01:26:46,093 --> 01:26:47,826 Are you friend or family? 993 01:26:49,336 --> 01:26:50,336 What? 994 01:26:51,463 --> 01:26:53,621 Are you friend or family, sir? 995 01:27:03,558 --> 01:27:04,673 Friend. 996 01:27:39,052 --> 01:27:41,259 Merry Christmas, John. 997 01:27:46,184 --> 01:27:47,560 You putz. 998 01:28:03,660 --> 01:28:08,073 Well, you'd better have a good reason for standing me up this morning. 999 01:28:12,210 --> 01:28:13,586 What's wrong? 1000 01:28:14,838 --> 01:28:16,380 Can I come in? 1001 01:28:18,842 --> 01:28:19,842 Sure. 1002 01:28:34,900 --> 01:28:38,944 I know you wanted to get rid of me, but isn't this a little drastic? 1003 01:28:47,496 --> 01:28:50,200 My husband passed away at Easter. 1004 01:28:50,624 --> 01:28:55,665 If you leave me at Christmas, I won't have any holidays to look forward to. 1005 01:28:56,338 --> 01:28:58,710 Except maybe Thanksgiving and... 1006 01:29:00,801 --> 01:29:02,959 I'm not crazy about turkey. 1007 01:29:05,472 --> 01:29:07,132 So, what do you say? 1008 01:29:08,600 --> 01:29:09,928 Let's get out of here. 1009 01:29:10,477 --> 01:29:11,936 All right. 1010 01:29:22,072 --> 01:29:23,863 Okay, I can wait. 1011 01:29:31,748 --> 01:29:33,863 The guy could be dead tomorrow. 1012 01:29:33,967 --> 01:29:36,573 I'm sorry your friend is sick... 1013 01:29:36,677 --> 01:29:40,116 but the court order is in and my hands are tied. 1014 01:29:40,220 --> 01:29:42,706 Check the bedroom. File the paperwork. 1015 01:29:42,843 --> 01:29:47,339 He's straight as a grizzly's dick. He'd never cheat on his taxes. 1016 01:29:47,639 --> 01:29:49,542 It's not a matter of cheating. 1017 01:29:49,646 --> 01:29:52,005 It's a matter of miscalculation. 1018 01:29:52,109 --> 01:29:57,227 He got health benefits for 20 years while claiming as a married man. 1019 01:29:58,400 --> 01:30:01,097 However, he omitted to inform us that... 1020 01:30:01,202 --> 01:30:04,224 his ex-wife had a part-time job for 11 of those 20 years. 1021 01:30:04,329 --> 01:30:06,814 Had he done so, we'd have informed him... 1022 01:30:06,950 --> 01:30:09,231 that, because of her income... 1023 01:30:09,335 --> 01:30:14,120 a larger portion of those benefits were subject to federal tax. 1024 01:30:14,291 --> 01:30:16,248 About $13,000. 1025 01:30:17,461 --> 01:30:19,334 He can raise that. 1026 01:30:19,588 --> 01:30:20,750 However... 1027 01:30:21,381 --> 01:30:24,299 that amount, when combined with... 1028 01:30:24,634 --> 01:30:29,759 11 years worth of interest, mandatory late charges, and penalties... 1029 01:30:31,308 --> 01:30:35,008 comes out at about $57,000, ballpark. 1030 01:30:37,689 --> 01:30:39,598 He'd never find that. 1031 01:30:41,818 --> 01:30:44,523 He will when we sell his house. 1032 01:30:56,375 --> 01:31:00,538 Dirty rat. I'll show him. Picking on people. 1033 01:31:03,757 --> 01:31:05,557 Let's go. 1034 01:31:06,927 --> 01:31:09,382 - Where's the realtor? - Get the door? 1035 01:31:10,263 --> 01:31:13,181 The furniture goes to the auction house. 1036 01:31:13,308 --> 01:31:17,353 Any paperwork put in the back of my car, okay? 1037 01:31:18,522 --> 01:31:20,479 Beautiful day. 1038 01:31:21,566 --> 01:31:26,063 Do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head and swallow. 1039 01:31:30,534 --> 01:31:31,814 Asshole. 1040 01:31:33,829 --> 01:31:35,371 Bloodsuckers. 1041 01:31:36,540 --> 01:31:38,404 Max, what's going on? 1042 01:31:38,508 --> 01:31:39,551 Morning, Ariel! 1043 01:31:40,460 --> 01:31:41,871 Anyone looking? 1044 01:31:42,754 --> 01:31:43,797 No, why? 1045 01:31:50,804 --> 01:31:52,346 We got a problem. 1046 01:31:52,764 --> 01:31:55,682 - What is it? - Somebody's barricaded the doors. 1047 01:31:56,601 --> 01:31:57,930 Wait a minute. 1048 01:31:58,353 --> 01:31:59,353 What? 1049 01:32:00,897 --> 01:32:03,685 - Break it in. - Watch this. You'll get a kick out of it. 1050 01:32:04,067 --> 01:32:05,859 We'll see about this. 1051 01:32:11,950 --> 01:32:15,153 This isn't going to stop me, Mr. Goldman. 1052 01:32:16,163 --> 01:32:18,321 I got him right where I want him. 1053 01:32:30,343 --> 01:32:32,170 Got it, just like you said. 1054 01:32:32,471 --> 01:32:35,388 - You don't understand. - I can handle it. 1055 01:32:36,475 --> 01:32:39,048 I'm Jacob Goldman, Mayor of Wabasha. 1056 01:32:42,272 --> 01:32:46,317 I have a 30-day cease and desist order. You can't touch this house. 1057 01:32:57,496 --> 01:32:58,824 Very well. 1058 01:33:49,506 --> 01:33:52,423 - You look great. - Thanks, so do you. 1059 01:33:52,926 --> 01:33:58,081 I mean it. People always try to be nice by saying you look great but... 1060 01:33:58,186 --> 01:33:59,963 you really do look great. 1061 01:34:00,068 --> 01:34:03,059 - I feel good. - How are you? 1062 01:34:03,186 --> 01:34:05,060 I'm good, Jacob. 1063 01:34:07,149 --> 01:34:09,984 Listen, I'm sorry about the... 1064 01:34:10,193 --> 01:34:12,186 Divorce. Thanks. 1065 01:34:12,988 --> 01:34:15,905 I'm just glad it's over and done with. 1066 01:34:16,324 --> 01:34:18,116 You must be. 1067 01:34:21,246 --> 01:34:23,951 - Ready for this? - No, not really. 1068 01:34:27,169 --> 01:34:30,502 Listen, if you need someone to talk to tonight... 1069 01:34:31,631 --> 01:34:33,375 I'm staying at Pop's. 1070 01:34:33,759 --> 01:34:36,759 Thanks, Jacob. I'd like that. 1071 01:34:37,304 --> 01:34:41,052 Hey, you two. Get your asses in here. 1072 01:34:43,685 --> 01:34:45,477 I guess it's time. 1073 01:34:52,861 --> 01:34:56,018 - Where have you been? - Relax. You nervous? 1074 01:34:56,123 --> 01:34:57,858 The groom is nervous. 1075 01:34:58,158 --> 01:35:00,983 - I'm not nervous, schmuck. - Don't call me schmuck, putz. 1076 01:35:01,087 --> 01:35:02,738 You're in a church. 1077 01:35:43,870 --> 01:35:44,870 Wait. 1078 01:35:45,414 --> 01:35:47,572 Ain't you forgetting something? 1079 01:35:52,045 --> 01:35:53,290 That'll do it. 1080 01:35:53,672 --> 01:35:56,702 That'll do it, Dad. I think that'll do it. 1081 01:35:56,806 --> 01:35:58,211 Okay, here we go. 1082 01:36:01,847 --> 01:36:04,135 - You're the greatest. - Thank you. 1083 01:36:07,894 --> 01:36:09,887 - I love you. - Goodbye, pumpkin. 1084 01:36:10,939 --> 01:36:11,982 Have fun. 1085 01:36:12,983 --> 01:36:14,137 Here's your house. 1086 01:36:14,241 --> 01:36:16,681 Jacob got them to waive the penalties and interest. 1087 01:36:16,786 --> 01:36:18,438 I took care of the $13,000. 1088 01:36:19,114 --> 01:36:22,234 Wipe the smile off your face, it's just a loan. 1089 01:36:25,704 --> 01:36:29,322 I'll lay eight-to-five you can't get it up the entire honeymoon. 1090 01:36:29,875 --> 01:36:31,120 You're on. 1091 01:36:31,585 --> 01:36:33,245 I got a sure winner. 1092 01:36:51,938 --> 01:36:53,481 You smell something? 1093 01:36:54,399 --> 01:36:56,308 What is that? 1094 01:36:57,069 --> 01:36:59,357 That dirty son of a... 1095 01:37:13,001 --> 01:37:14,745 What a putz. 1096 01:37:21,218 --> 01:37:24,164 What do you feel like tonight, Leno or Letterman? 1097 01:37:24,269 --> 01:37:26,967 Tell me about it in the morning. 1098 01:37:27,140 --> 01:37:28,672 Where are you going? 1099 01:37:28,776 --> 01:37:33,844 The Daughters of the American Revolution are having a dance at the VFW. 1100 01:37:34,147 --> 01:37:37,433 Maybe I'll get lucky. Don't wait up for me. 1101 01:38:43,467 --> 01:38:46,126 - What have you got there? - Broccoli. 1102 01:38:46,230 --> 01:38:47,879 Holy moly. 1103 01:38:55,687 --> 01:38:57,287 He's in. 1104 01:38:58,815 --> 01:39:02,345 Looks like he's going to enter the holy of holies. 1105 01:39:02,449 --> 01:39:04,437 Coitus uninterruptus. 1106 01:39:07,491 --> 01:39:09,273 I throw back what I'm not going to eat. 1107 01:39:09,377 --> 01:39:13,358 Yeah, like that 40-pound muskie you're always yakking about. 1108 01:39:13,462 --> 01:39:14,997 It's a shame that... 1109 01:39:16,249 --> 01:39:20,617 your uncle has a fish market on 23rd Street and 14th Avenue. 1110 01:39:20,722 --> 01:39:21,722 26th. 1111 01:39:21,963 --> 01:39:23,790 26th Street, you dummy. 1112 01:39:24,049 --> 01:39:25,294 You schmuck. 1113 01:39:26,510 --> 01:39:31,294 Yeah. It looks like Chuck's slipping her the old salami. 1114 01:39:31,398 --> 01:39:33,263 Oh, Jesus, Dad. 1115 01:39:38,480 --> 01:39:42,727 I'm Ronald Reagan. I used to be President of the United States. 1116 01:39:42,901 --> 01:39:45,470 - I live across the street. - Yes, come in. 1117 01:39:45,575 --> 01:39:49,438 I was also in the movies. I was a lousy actor. 1118 01:39:51,618 --> 01:39:55,865 Looks like Chuck's going to put the hot dog in the bun. 1119 01:39:55,997 --> 01:39:57,955 Oh, Jesus, Dad. 1120 01:39:59,543 --> 01:40:01,574 That's why I came down. 1121 01:40:01,678 --> 01:40:03,285 Spit it out. 1122 01:40:03,389 --> 01:40:05,244 - Don't shout. - I'm not. 1123 01:40:05,348 --> 01:40:08,038 Bust my tucchus to get here on New Year's Eve... 1124 01:40:08,142 --> 01:40:10,970 or Christmas, or whatever the... 1125 01:40:14,015 --> 01:40:17,716 Looks like Chuck's a tomcat on the prowl. 1126 01:40:20,063 --> 01:40:23,842 I got a pinched sciatica that makes your lumbago look like eye strain. 1127 01:40:23,946 --> 01:40:28,681 Is it? Does he? Would he? Is he... 1128 01:40:28,785 --> 01:40:30,440 Yes, he is. 1129 01:40:31,533 --> 01:40:35,234 Looks like Chuck is taking the old log to the beaver. 1130 01:40:36,246 --> 01:40:38,987 Looks like Chuck's going to bury his boner. 1131 01:40:39,092 --> 01:40:41,075 That's right, you're a moron. 1132 01:40:41,668 --> 01:40:43,127 If you hadn't had Amy... 1133 01:40:53,889 --> 01:40:58,598 It looks like Chuck is taking the skinboat to tuna town. 1134 01:40:59,478 --> 01:41:04,270 Looks like Chuck is taking a ride on the wild baloney pony. 1135 01:41:15,827 --> 01:41:17,238 Who left? 1136 01:43:15,280 --> 01:43:17,849 If I knew there was a nude scene in this picture... 1137 01:43:17,954 --> 01:43:19,981 I'd have asked for another million. 1138 01:43:20,085 --> 01:43:21,128 Slate it.