1 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:02,445 So thanks very much for having me in and here's my pitch. 2 00:01:02,545 --> 00:01:07,335 This is a movie I've had in my head for a long time. It's a comedy. Hopefully. 3 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,585 Anyway... 4 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:12,389 Let's say Jack Nicholson decided 5 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,475 that he wanted to know what people truly thought of him. 6 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,060 Whether his life had actually amounted to anything. 7 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,935 So he fakes his death and stages his own funeral. 8 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:25,152 I just think the possibilities are pretty hilarious. 9 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,407 Ultimately, amid all the cliché eulogies 10 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,659 and insincere expressions of grief, 11 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:36,363 he discovers one grandson who truly misses him. 12 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:39,078 It could be very heartwarming. 13 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,206 I don't get this. 14 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,460 Just like I didn't get it when you pitched it to me six months ago. 15 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,216 I did? Where was that? 16 00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,589 At the Red Sunset premiere. 17 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,337 Glad I left such an impression that night. 18 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,848 Oh, right, sorry, yeah, yeah. I knew I knew you. 19 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,350 Sorry. Yes! Yes! 20 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,770 Yeah, you were between jobs and looking for a development position. 21 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:02,981 So, bravo! No, that was a great night. 22 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,611 Oh, of course, there's no reason why it couldn't be a woman. 23 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,984 You know, everyone loves Betty White. 24 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,782 Keith, we love you. 25 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,074 We're huge fans. 26 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:16,828 This is the studio that made your Paradise Misplaced 15 years ago, 27 00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:19,807 when Jenny over here was just an embryo. 28 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,827 It's a fun idea, it's just not for us. 29 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:30,717 We're looking more for edgy comedies with a kick-ass-type woman. 30 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,921 Now if you have something like that, we'd love to hear it. 31 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,788 You are a fantastic agent as you have frequently told me. 32 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:03,125 I just wanted to ask, do you think you could possibly find me just... 33 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,498 Just one job, you know? Just any job. 34 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:06,999 OK. 35 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,755 There is something. 36 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,173 You have to hear me out. 37 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,716 If it pays, I'll take it. 38 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:16,263 My brother-in-law is a chem professor at Binghamton University in upstate New York, 39 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,682 and they're looking for a writer in residence this semester, 40 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:21,635 cos the one they had died, so I thought of you. 41 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,522 You thought of me for a teaching job? 42 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:28,025 Look, you're going to teach a screenwriting class. 43 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,569 You're going to take some time to figure out your life 44 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:31,737 and write something great. 45 00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:34,823 And they're going to give you a car, a house, a salary. 46 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,575 Yeah, a pitiful one I don't doubt. 47 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,368 Well, it's a lot more than you're making now. 48 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,371 Yeah, but I can't teach and I hate teachers, you know. 49 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,915 They're frustrated losers who haven't done anything with their own lives 50 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,412 so they want to instruct other people. 51 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:49,789 Oh, forget it, I will just write my script on spec and... 52 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,293 Keith? 53 00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:01,592 OK. Where exactly is Binghamton? 54 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:10,942 The city of Binghamton is 2,754 miles from Los Angeles 55 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,316 and 172 miles northwest of New York City. 56 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,861 IBM was founded there. 57 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,037 Sir, is this your bag? 58 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,997 - Yeah. - Well, we have to check it. 59 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,323 OK. 60 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:29,495 Rod Serling, creator of Twilight Zone grew up and was raised there. 61 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:33,127 I admit there's a somewhat ominous quality to that factoid. 62 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,470 What is this? 63 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,091 "Best Original Screenplay." 64 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,519 Dude, you wrote Paradise Misplaced? 65 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,104 I did. Yeah, yeah. 66 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,939 That's such a great flick. 67 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:53,731 - Thank you. Thanks very much. - Yo, Kevin, Ali, come here. 68 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,447 This is Keith Michaels. He wrote Paradise Misplaced. 69 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:58,824 - You wrote that? - Yeah, yeah. 70 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,618 - A long time ago but I did, yeah. - Oh, I love that movie, man. 71 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,912 - My kids love that movie. - Thank you, thank you, I appreciate it. 72 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,789 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too. 73 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:06,915 Wow, look at this. 74 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,292 I could have brought a bomb on board and no one would have minded. 75 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,835 Don't say that. That's not good. 76 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:17,208 Oh, you're so right. I'm sorry. I apologise. I used to know what was funny. 77 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,590 Thank you. Thank you. 78 00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,810 Binghamton is also the birthplace of the Spiedie, 79 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,105 a sandwich consisting of cubes of marinated beef, chicken, or pork 80 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,023 grilled over a charcoal pit. 81 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:42,534 Binghamton is amongst the top 10 most cloudy and rainy American cities. 82 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:48,032 On the plus side, it is considered "the carousel capital of the world". 83 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,454 It has never been the site of a major riot. 84 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:58,459 And from what I can tell so far, it is the absolute end of civilisation. 85 00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:02,012 It's impossible to know what anyone could have to teach here 86 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,714 except "get out". 87 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:34,847 Can I help you with something? 88 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:38,400 Oh, sorry. I'm just a bit jet-lagged. 89 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,860 I just flew in from LA. 90 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,903 - You came here from LA? - Yeah. Yeah. 91 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,197 I have come to teach at the college. 92 00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:47,033 - What are you teaching? - Writing. Screenwriting. 93 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,368 You're Keith Michaels? 94 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,162 I submitted a screenplay for that class. 95 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,455 He wrote Paradise Misplaced. 96 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,332 Are you kidding me? 97 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,625 Come sit with us. 98 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,210 No, I don't want to impose... 99 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,004 Dude, you have to. It's only my favourite movie of all time. 100 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,841 OK, I will... I will obey. 101 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,381 Thank you. 102 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,807 I'm Karen. This is Judy and Chloe. 103 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,268 Right. What are you all majoring in then? 104 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,769 - I'm pre-med. - Really? 105 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,314 And where do you stand on full body scans? 106 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:21,067 Would you say helpful or would you say cancer-causing cash conduits? 107 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,361 - Well, I mean... - Nice alliteration. 108 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:24,487 I'm an English major. 109 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,564 I thought I recognised a fellow sufferer. 110 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:30,368 And Chloe is majoring in... 111 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,498 Telepathy? 112 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,292 I can't believe you wrote that movie. 113 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,169 That's absolutely, truly cool. 114 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,791 Nice assonance. 115 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:44,883 - Assonance is the repetition of vowel sounds. - Vowel sounds. 116 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,424 Look at me. Teaching already. 117 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:51,264 I really want to take your course. 118 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,886 Well, that's good news. I thought maybe no one would. 119 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,392 Fantastic. 120 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:43,437 Henry, no. Sorry. Henry's not used to seeing people in the house. 121 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,648 I'm Jim. 122 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:49,443 Hi, Jim. Henry. 123 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,778 I've got to get ready for work. 124 00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,121 Right. No problem. 125 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,042 Hey. 126 00:10:11,374 --> 00:10:12,383 Good morning. 127 00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:17,183 I unfortunately have to go. I'm supposed to meet the head of the department. 128 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,135 Dr Lerner. I had him for Chaucer. 129 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,214 When you say you "had him" for Chaucer... 130 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,312 - This was really fun. - Yeah. 131 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,435 - See you later. - Yeah. 132 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,322 I like being a teacher. 133 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,466 Harold Lerner. How was your trip? 134 00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,925 It was nice. Thank you. 135 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,303 We could have had somebody meet you at the airport. 136 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,389 I'm sure one of our nerdier English majors would have been happy to do that. 137 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,599 Oh, no, no, that's fine. 138 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,434 Although I have actually met some of the students, 139 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,603 and they're extremely generous with their time. 140 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,022 Oh, sure, yeah, they're friendly. Most of them are high. 141 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,860 US Marine Corps. I... I like to follow the rules. 142 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,488 Well, Writers Guild of America. I feel exactly the same. 143 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,781 Excellent. 144 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:15,033 Let me grab something and I'll show you to your new digs. 145 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,325 Yeah, yeah. 146 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,035 Good use of their parents' tuition money. 147 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,668 Well, here's your new home away from home. 148 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,639 That's lovely. Yeah, thank you. 149 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:42,936 Oh, there's a little faculty get-together at 5:00 tonight in the Susquehanna Lounge. 150 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,480 Give you a chance to meet the rest of the department. 151 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:46,981 Good. Great. 152 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,692 - All right. Give me a call if you need anything. - Yep, yep, yep. 153 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:53,522 Thank you. Oh, Dr Lerner, you forgot your box. 154 00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:55,532 Oh, I'm sorry, no. That's yours. 155 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,952 That's the 30-page screenplays submitted by all the students 156 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,529 who wanna take your course. 157 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,205 About 70 of them. 158 00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:03,706 And you teach day after tomorrow, 159 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,084 so we're going to need your selections right away. 160 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,752 You only have to pick 10. 161 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,045 We would have let you know sooner, 162 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:12,374 but we didn't know you were taking the job until a couple days ago. 163 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,050 OK. 164 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,672 - Happy reading. - Yeah. 165 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,138 Mr Michaels! Mr Michaels! 166 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:01,555 Hi. 167 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,141 Hi. 168 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,768 Oh, I'm glad I caught you before the faculty reception. 169 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,140 I'm Holly Carpenter. 170 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,565 Hello. Hello. And what do you teach, Holly? 171 00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:14,944 What, teach? No, I don't teach. I learn. I'm a sophomore. 172 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,821 Really? 173 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:20,283 Oh, you are? That's great. That's good. It's wonderful going back to school at your... 174 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,618 - Height? - Yes, exactly. 175 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,036 I thought that's what you meant. 176 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,787 It was, it was. We're very simpatico. 177 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,706 Holly, listen, I'm a little late for this thing. 178 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,125 Am I going the right way to the Susquehanna Lounge? 179 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,710 Yes, it's straight ahead. 180 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,128 OK, great. Thank you. 181 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,751 I'm actually a psych major. 182 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:36,716 And... 183 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,301 We have a lit requirement, 184 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:43,139 and I've written short stories and I've written poems. I love writing. 185 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,390 I have an idea for a screenplay, 186 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,268 I know the class submission deadline was yesterday... 187 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:51,481 But I stayed up last night and wrote this and I hope that you would still consider me. 188 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,183 Thank you. Thank you. 189 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:56,027 Oh, I've got to tell you, I love Paradise Misplaced. 190 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,695 I still watch it with my girls. 191 00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:59,943 Oh, your girls? Are you a lesbian? 192 00:14:01,122 --> 00:14:03,326 I wish. No, my daughters. 193 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,494 Of course. Well, of course. 194 00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:07,247 Well, I hope you watch a DVD and not one of those illegal web sites. 195 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,749 Oh, I didn't know that was an option. I'll have to check that out. 196 00:14:10,369 --> 00:14:14,295 A criminal. Now I will read this with genuine interest. 197 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,506 OK, thank you. Thank you. 198 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:17,878 - Thank you. - Yeah. 199 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,670 - I hope you like it. - Oh, yeah. 200 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,065 Thank you very much. 201 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,734 - That is quite... Thank you. Yeah. - You're welcome. 202 00:14:43,224 --> 00:14:47,821 Hi, Jim Harper. My dog, Henry IV, and I were peering in your window this morning. 203 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,373 Yes, wow. That was, that was... That was unusual. 204 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,042 Yeah. Henry kind of walks me. 205 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:56,421 - Listen, I love your movie. - Oh, thank you very much, thank you. 206 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:59,048 I've actually written three, and a co-writing credit on another. 207 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,719 Oh, wow, I didn't know that. That's terrific. Jeez, I wish I could do what you do. 208 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:06,055 Oh, so do I. And what do you do, Jim? 209 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,390 I teach Shakespeare. 210 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,393 Excuse me. Keith, I'd like you to meet some of our other English faculty. 211 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,645 This is Ron Jenson, Medieval Literature. 212 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,064 Pleasure. I really love your movie. 213 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,732 Oh, thanks, the movies... 214 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,153 Paul Prentiss, American Lit. Great to have you here. 215 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,237 Great, thanks a lot. 216 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,782 - Hi, Naomi Watkins, African Literature. - Nice to meet you, Naomi. I'm Keith. 217 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,952 Clara Foss, fellow writer, resident poet. Welcome aboard. 218 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,246 Well, that didn't rhyme at all. I doubt your credentials. 219 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:35,289 And this is Professor Mary Weldon. 220 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:38,880 Professor Weldon holds the Bainbridge Chair in Comparative Literature 221 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,382 and she's about to publish what will prove to be 222 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:45,131 - the definitive work on Jane Austen. - Oh, I'm so sorry. 223 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:48,389 - You don't like Jane Austen? - No, no, she's obviously brilliant. 224 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,726 It's just I find it all a bit trivial, you know? 225 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,354 Really? That's fascinating. How so? 226 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,523 Well, isn't it all, you know, "Who's going to the ball tonight? 227 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,817 "My corset is askew. However will I curtsey?" 228 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,279 I'd also like you to meet... 229 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,406 In other words, why should a 21st century man care 230 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,658 about the obstacles facing a 19th century woman? 231 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:10,745 No, that makes me sound like a misogynist. I love and respect women. 232 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,121 As long as they're not writing. 233 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,995 On the contrary, there are myriad women writers I adore. 234 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,873 - Can you name one? - Elaine May. 235 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,171 I'm not familiar with her work. 236 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:24,547 Oh, she wrote A New Leaf, The Birdcage, she did an uncredited rewrite on Tootsie. 237 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,388 Movies? 238 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,681 We're talking about literature. 239 00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:33,810 And while you may not think much of the women writers of that period, 240 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,020 Austen, Woolf, and the Bronte sisters were artists 241 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,065 who represented the female empowerment of their age. 242 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,441 Oh, well, forgive me, 243 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,985 but I'm just a little bit tired of "female empowerment." 244 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,279 Whoa! Battle stations. 245 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,324 Dr Lerner, you must have an opinion on this? 246 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,994 I have a wife and four daughters. I have no opinions. 247 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,997 What exactly is your opinion, Mr Michaels? 248 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,708 - Another glass? - Thank you so much, that's nice. 249 00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:01,587 It's just, honestly, everything seems to be about female empowerment nowadays. 250 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,965 You know, any meeting I go to in Hollywood, someone says, 251 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,926 "You know what we need? A kick-ass girl. That would be a great twist." 252 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,845 Except every movie has a kick-ass girl. 253 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,931 You know, some martial-arts, CGI, slow-motion woman 254 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,642 who kicks the crap out of every man in her path. 255 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:17,645 Can I tell you what would be truly innovative? 256 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,772 A movie without a kick-ass girl. 257 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:23,272 Or, better yet, a movie where a woman gets her ass kicked. 258 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,241 Perhaps you'd like to kick mine. 259 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:33,532 No, don't be silly. I didn't mean literally. 260 00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,514 Besides, not much of a target there. 261 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:41,293 Which I mean in a very nice way... Cos you are in great shape. 262 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,045 You're... You're svelte. 263 00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:46,381 This... I'm sure you'd like to meet... 264 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,251 Somebody. 265 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:03,107 Hey. So this worked out great, right? 266 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,693 Two of us living right next door to each other. 267 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,612 - Yeah. - I'll give you a lift in tomorrow. 268 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:08,696 Oh, thank you, Jim. 269 00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:11,407 You know, you're a lovely man with an unusual dog... 270 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,326 But I don't think I can do this. 271 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,200 I actually miss LA, and I didn't think that was possible. 272 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:19,290 "O thou invisible spirit of wine, 273 00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:22,334 "if thou hast no name to be known by, let us call thee devil!" 274 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:25,755 When I was younger, 275 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,299 I thought having the perfect Shakespeare quote for any situation 276 00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:29,625 would make me beloved. 277 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,302 It's surprisingly unhelpful. 278 00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:32,970 Yeah, it seems to really annoy people. 279 00:18:33,704 --> 00:18:35,798 Sorry, hang on, hang on, hang on. 280 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:42,146 I'm going to have to take this. I think I can find my house from here. 281 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,148 OK, sure, you go for it. 282 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,025 - Listen though... - Hang on one second. 283 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,820 Give teaching a shot, OK? It gets its hooks in you, you'll see. 284 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,239 With all respect, I don't believe 285 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,533 that anything worth knowing can be taught in a classroom. 286 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:57,286 And I intend to do as little as possible while carrying on with this charade. 287 00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,160 Yeah, if I gave it any thought, I'd probably feel the same way. 288 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:01,457 Yeah, hi. 289 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,001 Oh, hi. I'm stuck in traffic, I thought I'd check in. How's it going? 290 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:07,129 I'm very, very, very, very cold, and, 291 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,131 I have to read a huge box of scripts, 292 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:12,843 and I just got into a fight with Professor McGonagall about Jane Austen. 293 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,346 You know, it's interesting that you should bring that up. 294 00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,265 You know what J.K. Rowling said? 295 00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,308 "Where did I put that last billion dollars?" 296 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,353 She said that failure was the best thing that ever happened to her 297 00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,146 cos it freed her from the inessential. 298 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:28,234 It allowed her to concentrate on the thing that mattered most. Writing. 299 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:31,487 Maybe the time has come for me to write that sequel to Paradise Misplaced 300 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,781 that you've been hounding me for all these years. 301 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,491 Hey, hey. I thought you weren't interested. 302 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:38,160 You said the story was over, and if I remember correctly, 303 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,538 continuing it would be creative suicide. 304 00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:43,332 Yeah, well, that was when I was young and believed in myself. 305 00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:45,159 So now is the perfect time. 306 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,917 "Flo Bai." 307 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:36,469 Hello, Flo. Congratulations and welcome to the screenwriting class. 308 00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:40,719 "Dave Fenman." 309 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:47,479 You're a good-looking guy, Dave. Get your own screenwriting class. 310 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:10,624 Not even close. 311 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:45,325 Hello. Good morning. I'm Keith Michaels. 312 00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:48,119 Oh, thank you. 313 00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:50,167 Thanks very much. Thanks, yeah. 314 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:52,712 Thank you. 315 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,255 Well, now... 316 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,466 Since it will be easier for me to evaluate your material 317 00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:58,801 if I read an entire script, 318 00:21:58,901 --> 00:22:00,636 and you've all turned in 30 pages 319 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,763 and the average screenplay is 120, 320 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,636 that leaves roughly 90 to go. 321 00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:07,977 So if you write three pages a day, six days a week, 322 00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:09,478 you should all be done in about a month. 323 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:10,679 Let's meet again then. 324 00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:13,015 Great. Looking forward to it. 325 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,831 Hey. That's the way all classes should be. Five minutes. 326 00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,500 I had no intention of going that long, I am so sorry. 327 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,505 - So maybe later, do you want to catch up... - Excuse me. Hi. Do you have a minute? 328 00:22:36,803 --> 00:22:37,798 Holly. 329 00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,801 Oh, yes. I work at the Campus Bookstore. 330 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,723 So, Holly, this is Karen. 331 00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:48,184 - Yeah, we've taken some classes together. - Hi. 332 00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:49,894 So you didn't accept my screenplay 333 00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:52,605 but I was wondering if you could give me some constructive criticism. 334 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,352 I thought that I could come during office hours. 335 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:55,649 Yes. Yes. 336 00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:58,443 - I'll see you later, Mr Michaels. - Oh, Karen. 337 00:23:01,964 --> 00:23:03,199 Hi. I'm still here. 338 00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:04,784 Yes. Yes, you are. 339 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,577 Well the thing is, Holly... 340 00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:10,831 I'm not entirely sure that I have anything very helpful to say regarding your screenplay. 341 00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,958 - Oh. That bad? - No, not at all. 342 00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:15,669 It's just that I don't really believe that writing can be taught. 343 00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:18,631 Oh, interesting position for a creative writing teacher to take. 344 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,591 But true. You know, you can't teach talent. 345 00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:22,051 I think most people have talent, 346 00:23:22,151 --> 00:23:23,761 they just haven't been exposed to the right teachers. 347 00:23:23,861 --> 00:23:24,845 I beg to differ. 348 00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,722 You can get me the best music teacher in the world 349 00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,808 and I still wouldn't be able to write songs like Paul McCartney. 350 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:29,975 How do you know? Have you tried? 351 00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:31,060 No. 352 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,513 - Do you want to write songs? - Not at all. 353 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,014 What are we talking about? 354 00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:40,778 About the fact that the most idiotic thing that anyone has ever said 355 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:43,280 is that if you just put your mind to it and believe in yourself, 356 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,032 there is nothing you can't accomplish. 357 00:23:46,132 --> 00:23:49,245 I say that! Does that make me an idiot? 358 00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:51,368 No, no, not you. Other people. 359 00:23:59,355 --> 00:24:01,674 How can I make my script better? 360 00:24:04,026 --> 00:24:06,970 Right, well, it could be more... 361 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,098 Organised. 362 00:24:09,198 --> 00:24:11,346 "More organised" how? 363 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:14,352 - Structurally. - Structurally. 364 00:24:14,870 --> 00:24:16,017 Yep. 365 00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,565 Yeah. Structurally. 366 00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:23,445 Did you like that part where she looks in the mirror 367 00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:25,114 and she sees herself as an old woman? 368 00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:27,575 Honestly, I found that a little heavy-handed. 369 00:24:28,035 --> 00:24:32,955 So did I. Which is why I didn't write it. You didn't read my screenplay, did you? 370 00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:36,083 No. But I didn't read anyone's screenplay, don't take it personally. 371 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:37,293 It's entirely personal. 372 00:24:37,393 --> 00:24:39,753 I worked on it and I would like to tell this story. 373 00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:41,463 OK. You're in the class. 374 00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:44,086 No. I want you to read my script and tell me if I have any potential. 375 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:46,923 All right. I will read your screenplay. 376 00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:49,513 Thanks. I think. 377 00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:51,974 I'll let you eat in peace. 378 00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:54,723 Oh, thank you, thank you. It's a bit late for that. 379 00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:02,017 Keith. 380 00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:03,856 Dr Lerner. 381 00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:06,238 Interesting wine and cheese party last night. 382 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:09,033 I am so sorry. Honestly, I was nervous meeting everyone 383 00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:11,452 and you combine that with the free-flowing wine 384 00:25:11,552 --> 00:25:13,871 and it is just a recipe for Austen-bashing. 385 00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:16,540 Mary's a pretty powerful presence around here, you know? 386 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,583 She's tenured, she's published. 387 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:21,036 She's also head of the Ethics Committee 388 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,213 which means she can make your life miserable. 389 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:25,587 Even get you fired. 390 00:25:26,316 --> 00:25:29,010 She wants me fired? Already? 391 00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:30,512 She's not happy. 392 00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:33,465 She did use words in her email to me like "harassment". 393 00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:35,300 That's a very bad word. 394 00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:38,054 Yes, it is indeed. Here, walk with me. 395 00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:43,192 Listen, I know you're a big Hollywood guy, obviously you don't need this job. 396 00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:45,986 Well, I wouldn't want to let the students down, you know. 397 00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:49,986 Well, then I'm afraid you're going to have to kiss her svelte ass. 398 00:25:50,591 --> 00:25:51,867 That sounds difficult. 399 00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:54,320 I couldn't do it. And I was in Desert Storm. 400 00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:57,957 Should I bring her a gift of appeasement, you know? 401 00:25:58,057 --> 00:25:59,329 What does she like? 402 00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:01,038 Jane Austen. 403 00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:38,322 And the award for Best Original Screenplay goes to... 404 00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:42,459 Keith Michaels for Paradise Misplaced. 405 00:26:46,063 --> 00:26:47,164 This is... 406 00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:51,176 Well, it's tragic how much I'm enjoying getting this. 407 00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:57,303 And it's with tremendous ill-grace, 408 00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:02,513 that I grudgingly acknowledge the contribution of a few other people. 409 00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:09,320 Our brilliant director, Niles Kelling, my very loud agent, Ellen Klein. 410 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:13,608 My beautiful wife, Tina, who, frankly, could do much better. 411 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:18,037 And our son, Alex, who I can honestly say 412 00:27:18,137 --> 00:27:21,040 is the only thing I've ever had a hand in producing 413 00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:23,375 not desperately in need of a rewrite. 414 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:26,703 So, cheers, Alex, and go to bed. 415 00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:30,586 Thank you. 416 00:28:21,325 --> 00:28:25,145 I'm not interested in your feelings about Persuasion, Miss Stein-Rosen, 417 00:28:25,245 --> 00:28:26,605 or anything else for that matter. 418 00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:29,858 I am interested in a well-thought out analysis 419 00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:34,696 corroborated with evidence from the text and only the text. Not Wikipedia. 420 00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:36,782 That's what I thought I was doing. 421 00:28:36,882 --> 00:28:38,325 What you thought you were doing is irrelevant. 422 00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:42,905 What you have done or in this case, not done, is what counts. 423 00:28:43,305 --> 00:28:44,998 Can I do some kind of extra credit? 424 00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:46,916 Like Habitat for Humanity? 425 00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:49,328 Who is it? 426 00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:54,383 Hello. Am I interrupting? 427 00:28:54,483 --> 00:28:56,510 I'm having office hours, Mr Michaels. 428 00:28:56,610 --> 00:28:57,886 Oh, OK. 429 00:28:57,986 --> 00:29:00,556 Hi, Mr Michaels. I'm in your screenwriting class. 430 00:29:00,656 --> 00:29:01,890 Andrea Stein-Rosen. 431 00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:03,934 Oh, yes, yes. Andrea. 432 00:29:04,034 --> 00:29:06,645 Great Neck High School. Likes Adele and Pinkberry. 433 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:07,846 Yeah. 434 00:29:08,497 --> 00:29:09,439 I can come back. 435 00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:12,108 Oh, no, I think we're done. Right? Are we done? 436 00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:13,523 Ten minutes ago. 437 00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:17,276 Nice to see you. 438 00:29:18,674 --> 00:29:19,783 Good morning. 439 00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:25,747 It could be said that we got off to a poor start at the wine and cheese event. 440 00:29:25,847 --> 00:29:27,290 "We" did? 441 00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:28,959 I did. I did. 442 00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:31,211 Bit too much wine, not quite enough cheese. 443 00:29:31,311 --> 00:29:34,790 Which is why I brought these few small peace offerings. 444 00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:38,218 These are DVDs of every Jane Austen novel 445 00:29:38,318 --> 00:29:41,221 including my favourite, Clueless with Alicia Silverstone. 446 00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:42,472 What is Clueless? 447 00:29:42,572 --> 00:29:44,433 Oh, I think you'll like it. It's based on Emma. 448 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:46,977 Bit hit. Spun off into a mildly successful series. 449 00:29:47,077 --> 00:29:52,608 Also, a gift certificate from Amazon covering all the following items. 450 00:29:52,708 --> 00:29:55,812 My personal favourite is the "What Would Jane Do?" tote bag. 451 00:29:57,713 --> 00:29:59,315 Mr Michaels... 452 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:00,941 Thank you. 453 00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:05,329 This is the finest public university in the Northeast. 454 00:30:05,429 --> 00:30:06,455 Yes. I understand. 455 00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:10,000 We expect a degree of professionalism even from a non-professional. 456 00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:11,210 Yes, of course. 457 00:30:11,310 --> 00:30:14,421 Which means that you behave at faculty events. 458 00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:16,632 You read the material that has been submitted to you. 459 00:30:16,732 --> 00:30:19,092 You do not dismiss your class for a month. 460 00:30:19,192 --> 00:30:21,420 - Oh. - Yes, I heard about that. 461 00:30:21,737 --> 00:30:24,973 But I want to be fair, and act without pride or prejudice, 462 00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:26,266 if you'll forgive the reference... 463 00:30:26,366 --> 00:30:28,644 No, I very much enjoyed it. It was good. 464 00:30:28,744 --> 00:30:32,314 So I'll give you one more opportunity to conduct yourself like a teacher. 465 00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:35,393 Absolutely. I will watch Dead Poets Society to prepare. 466 00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:39,112 It's a film. It's about teaching... 467 00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:41,861 I'll get to it right after... Clueless. 468 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,200 - Clueless? Great. - Yes. 469 00:31:04,363 --> 00:31:05,464 Good afternoon. 470 00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:09,351 - Oh, Mr Michaels. - Please, call me Keith. 471 00:31:09,451 --> 00:31:11,520 Sorry, my youngest was throwing up all night. 472 00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:13,393 Oh, had she been drinking? 473 00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:17,063 She's nine. But maybe, I'm a really permissive mother. 474 00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:19,528 How can I help you? 475 00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:21,655 Well, by thanking me for reading your script. 476 00:31:21,755 --> 00:31:23,699 - Really? - You want to test me? 477 00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:25,242 It is called Local Girl, 478 00:31:25,342 --> 00:31:28,537 and it is about a perky Binghamton lass called Peggy, 479 00:31:28,929 --> 00:31:32,874 who dreams big dreams about being a dancer and is attracted to the wrong boys 480 00:31:32,974 --> 00:31:34,710 and her father is a police officer 481 00:31:34,810 --> 00:31:37,337 and her mother is a beautician and opera singer. 482 00:31:37,437 --> 00:31:39,756 Wow, you really did read it. 483 00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,630 So, what did you think? 484 00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:46,013 I think that your characters are quite interesting, 485 00:31:46,113 --> 00:31:48,307 but that it's a little randomly structured. 486 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:51,643 Anyway, I have sent an email telling everyone that we have class today 487 00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:52,969 and I would like you to attend. 488 00:31:54,756 --> 00:31:55,605 Great. 489 00:31:56,206 --> 00:31:57,478 Congratulations. 490 00:31:58,417 --> 00:31:59,985 I just have a question. 491 00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:01,320 I would expect no less. 492 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:05,696 If you don't believe writing can be taught, what are we going to be doing in class? 493 00:32:06,299 --> 00:32:07,867 Well, we're going to... 494 00:32:25,574 --> 00:32:27,061 So... 495 00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:32,351 Why don't we deal with attendance, you know? 496 00:32:32,451 --> 00:32:34,770 Get that out of the way. 497 00:32:37,873 --> 00:32:39,941 Rachel Anslow. Now am I pronouncing that right? 498 00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:42,189 Is that "Ans-low" or is it "An-slow"? 499 00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:43,770 "Ans-low." 500 00:32:44,171 --> 00:32:46,615 - Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. - "Ans-low!" 501 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:49,159 OK. OK, OK. That's fine. Tick. 502 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:55,036 And another tricky one. Flo Bai? Or should I say "bay", "bai"? 503 00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:57,459 It's "bay". But I could go either way. 504 00:32:57,559 --> 00:32:59,286 Good. I appreciate your flexibility. 505 00:32:59,561 --> 00:33:03,837 Could be either, or indeed, "eye-ther". 506 00:33:04,566 --> 00:33:05,838 Let's call the whole thing off. 507 00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:09,971 I'm sorry, Miss Stein-Rosen, but you will have to wait for the "S's". 508 00:33:10,071 --> 00:33:12,891 Or is it the "R's"? Interesting question. 509 00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,727 I was just going to say, I think everyone is here. 510 00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:20,023 There were 10 of us last time, there's 10 today, plus... 511 00:33:20,332 --> 00:33:21,650 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 512 00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:25,070 Everyone, welcome the new student to our class. Holly Carpenter. 513 00:33:25,879 --> 00:33:28,232 Holly, perhaps you'd like to tell us a little bit about yourself. 514 00:33:28,590 --> 00:33:31,318 No, I'm good, good. Thanks, thanks for asking. 515 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:33,115 I see. 516 00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:38,542 So, the consensus is that we're all here, yeah? 517 00:33:38,642 --> 00:33:39,668 Yeah. 518 00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:42,838 All right, all right, if you think so. Seems a little rash to me, but... 519 00:33:49,611 --> 00:33:50,804 Mr Michaels? 520 00:33:50,904 --> 00:33:53,682 Maybe you could tell us a little bit about 521 00:33:53,782 --> 00:33:57,853 why you decided to come to Binghamton and teach? 522 00:33:58,912 --> 00:34:01,435 I certainly could, Miss Carpenter. 523 00:34:03,917 --> 00:34:05,143 The truth is that... 524 00:34:05,502 --> 00:34:06,603 I... 525 00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:13,248 The truth is that I'm going to be writing a movie 526 00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:15,950 about a teacher and this is all research. 527 00:34:16,263 --> 00:34:17,364 Who's going to be in it? 528 00:34:17,639 --> 00:34:19,666 I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss that. 529 00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:21,493 You know, Matt hasn't committed yet... 530 00:34:21,810 --> 00:34:24,129 Matt Damon? Oh, my God! 531 00:34:24,271 --> 00:34:25,547 - Oh, my God! - I did not say that, no. 532 00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:27,007 No, the point is that, you know, 533 00:34:27,107 --> 00:34:30,427 I have to learn who my protagonist really... 534 00:34:30,527 --> 00:34:32,550 Protagonist, protagonist, protagonist. 535 00:34:32,862 --> 00:34:37,559 Pro-tag-on-nist 536 00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:38,977 is all about, you know, 537 00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:43,182 what he aspires to be, what goal he wishes to achieve. 538 00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:47,439 You mean like how in A New Hope, Luke wants to become a Jedi Knight? 539 00:34:47,836 --> 00:34:49,196 Yeah, perfect example, Mr... 540 00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:50,906 Frazier. Billy Frazier. 541 00:34:51,006 --> 00:34:52,449 Yeah. Billy, good, yes. 542 00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:55,702 A goal has been established and the story consists of trying to overcome 543 00:34:55,802 --> 00:34:57,324 the obstacles in the way of that goal. 544 00:34:59,389 --> 00:35:01,583 Feel free to write that down. 545 00:35:02,309 --> 00:35:05,420 And, I bet that if you all thought of your favourite movie 546 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,625 you could identify the hero or heroine and what their goal was. 547 00:35:10,692 --> 00:35:12,010 Dirty Dancing. 548 00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:14,679 Are you serious? That's not even a movie. 549 00:35:14,779 --> 00:35:18,225 It's a wack Cinderella fantasy that's totally devoid of reality. 550 00:35:21,536 --> 00:35:22,604 Just excuse me one second. 551 00:35:22,704 --> 00:35:24,564 You know, Hollywood never rests. 552 00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:26,766 - Yeah, hi. - Hey. Are you OK? 553 00:35:27,208 --> 00:35:29,027 You sounded like you were going to kill yourself last night. 554 00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:31,279 I was, but it was far too cold and rainy. 555 00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:33,323 Listen, I am actually teaching at the moment. 556 00:35:33,423 --> 00:35:36,076 OK, good, good. Well, I'm just checking in. 557 00:35:36,176 --> 00:35:38,161 You hang in there and I'll talk to you soon, OK? 558 00:35:38,261 --> 00:35:40,247 Yeah, I will do, will do. 559 00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:41,957 And just one other thing. 560 00:35:43,183 --> 00:35:45,460 Tell them if Matt wants a meeting he's going to have to come here. 561 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:46,962 Matt? Who is Matt? 562 00:35:47,062 --> 00:35:48,964 Because, you know, there's always Ryan. 563 00:35:49,447 --> 00:35:51,341 Gosling or Reynolds? 564 00:35:51,441 --> 00:35:54,094 - OK. Talk to you soon. Yeah, ciao. - Ciao. 565 00:35:54,194 --> 00:35:56,922 I'm so sorry about that. They never leave me alone. 566 00:35:57,238 --> 00:35:59,432 So, any other favourite movies? 567 00:36:12,045 --> 00:36:13,146 Hey. 568 00:36:13,713 --> 00:36:15,448 You made it through. Sort of. 569 00:36:15,548 --> 00:36:18,326 I couldn't have done it without your probing and annoying question. 570 00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:19,698 I'm always here for you. 571 00:36:21,262 --> 00:36:22,534 Mr Ronson. 572 00:36:23,014 --> 00:36:25,162 Your pages were excellent. 573 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,377 - Really? - Yeah. 574 00:36:27,477 --> 00:36:29,149 Thanks, Mr Michaels. 575 00:36:29,648 --> 00:36:30,626 - Sorry. - Oh! 576 00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:33,883 I think I might be coming down with something. 577 00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:35,960 Do you have any idea where you might be going with the story? 578 00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:39,598 Yes. I have more pages. 579 00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:41,974 All of them, actually. 580 00:36:42,367 --> 00:36:44,219 Sorry, why did you only hand in 30? 581 00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:48,398 That's all they asked for. I didn't want to impose. 582 00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:52,728 Well, I'd love to see the rest, if and when you're comfortable sending them. 583 00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:55,105 And assuming you live that long. 584 00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,411 Dismissed. 585 00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:11,287 Henry, let go. 586 00:37:12,397 --> 00:37:13,749 It's garbage. 587 00:37:19,487 --> 00:37:21,339 - Evening, Jim. - Evening. 588 00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:24,514 - Henry, how are you? - Hey, boy. 589 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,938 You know, Karen, I want to have a quick chat with Jim 590 00:37:29,038 --> 00:37:32,442 about the correct schedule for garbage pickups for a moment, 591 00:37:32,542 --> 00:37:36,442 - so why don't you go on in and I'll catch up. - OK. 592 00:37:36,796 --> 00:37:39,115 OK, don't be too long. You want it hot. 593 00:37:39,549 --> 00:37:40,821 Take care, Professor Harper. 594 00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:42,736 I'll put on some music. 595 00:37:44,179 --> 00:37:46,122 OK, all right, Henry. 596 00:37:46,264 --> 00:37:47,616 Quiet, Henry. 597 00:37:49,434 --> 00:37:52,663 Sorry about Henry here. I think he's why my wife left me. 598 00:37:53,855 --> 00:37:55,674 Your wife? I didn't realise you were married. 599 00:37:55,774 --> 00:38:01,888 Yeah. She's with some visiting professor in the Physics Department. 600 00:38:01,988 --> 00:38:06,476 One of the guys that helped discover that whole Higgs boson thing. 601 00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:08,144 The glue to the universe. 602 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:10,517 She's impressed with that kind of stuff. 603 00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:15,648 Listen... 604 00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:17,862 About Karen... 605 00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:19,239 You know, we've been spending some time together. 606 00:38:20,423 --> 00:38:22,325 Yeah, I think I may have seen that. 607 00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:23,526 Right. 608 00:38:23,718 --> 00:38:25,620 You know, she's been very welcoming, very friendly. 609 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,997 - Lot of school spirit. - Right, right. 610 00:38:28,097 --> 00:38:31,292 And she's actually also taking my course. 611 00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:33,670 OK. I gotcha. 612 00:38:33,770 --> 00:38:36,423 Right. So I was just wondering if there's any kind of, you know, 613 00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:39,259 university policy or official position on that kind of thing. 614 00:38:39,359 --> 00:38:41,302 Yeah, it's totally against the rules. 615 00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:42,971 - Is that right? - Yeah, no, big time. 616 00:38:43,071 --> 00:38:44,969 People get fired for that. 617 00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:48,176 Wow, I didn't realise, so... 618 00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:50,311 Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. 619 00:38:50,411 --> 00:38:51,563 - Thank you very much, Jim. - Sure. 620 00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:56,522 - Gentlemen. - Well, hey. 621 00:38:56,751 --> 00:38:59,479 Just coming back from a grocery run. What are we talking about? 622 00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:06,411 I was just trying to remember which Shakespeare play, the line 623 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:09,664 "Tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace" comes from 624 00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:11,537 and Jim was assisting me. 625 00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:13,668 Macbeth. Act V, Scene V. 626 00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:15,870 - Very impressive, very impressive. - Wow. 627 00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:18,298 - That is why he's Department Chairman. - Right. 628 00:39:18,398 --> 00:39:19,674 Actually, I'm Department Chairman 629 00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:21,926 because it pays more and I have four daughters 630 00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:24,800 who spend so much time at the mall, the mannequins call them by name. 631 00:39:25,238 --> 00:39:27,515 Wow. So it's just you in the house with five women? 632 00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:29,809 Yup. Me and the girls. 633 00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:38,777 Well, I'm going to go and brush up on my classics, 634 00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:40,195 so I will see you gentlemen later. 635 00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:43,031 And, I'm just going to go ahead and walk my friend here. 636 00:39:43,131 --> 00:39:44,733 "Once more unto the breach". 637 00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:57,583 Thank you. Here you are. 638 00:40:01,065 --> 00:40:02,634 Good timing. Last umbrella. 639 00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:04,761 Yeah, I'm quite excited. I haven't actually owned one of these 640 00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:06,888 since I left England about 100 years ago. 641 00:40:06,988 --> 00:40:09,265 But your horrendous weather has forced my hand. 642 00:40:09,365 --> 00:40:11,226 No, you're looking at it all the wrong way. 643 00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:14,555 First of all, think about how much you save in suntan lotion. 644 00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:16,606 Yes, I see that. And sunglasses. 645 00:40:16,706 --> 00:40:17,690 And convertibles. 646 00:40:17,790 --> 00:40:20,193 And bikinis. I'm now very glad I did not bring mine. 647 00:40:20,293 --> 00:40:21,569 I can lend you one when it gets sunny. 648 00:40:21,669 --> 00:40:23,780 Oh, you're saying there actually will be a sunny day? 649 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:27,033 Oh, yeah. It gets sunny, and it is worth the wait. 650 00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:28,993 The lawn is filled with Frisbees and guitars. 651 00:40:29,093 --> 00:40:31,913 Professors teach outside and it's just, you just... 652 00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:36,869 You soak it all in, you absorb it, like the best scoop of ice cream you ever had. 653 00:40:37,018 --> 00:40:38,415 What a sad, pathetic story. 654 00:40:38,853 --> 00:40:39,838 Too randomly structured? 655 00:40:39,938 --> 00:40:41,256 Bit cliché. 656 00:40:41,356 --> 00:40:43,629 Saying "a bit cliché" is a bit cliché. 657 00:40:43,942 --> 00:40:48,179 Mark Twain said that, "The difference between the almost right word and the right word 658 00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:50,139 "was the difference between the lightning bug and lightning." 659 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,225 I love it. This is the kind of stuff I want to learn. 660 00:40:52,325 --> 00:40:54,102 Yes, and this is exactly what can't be taught, so... 661 00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:55,562 I know, I know. No one can learn anything. 662 00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:57,935 It's all set in stone, let's just all kill ourselves. 663 00:40:59,374 --> 00:41:00,771 This is what I'm talking about. 664 00:41:05,630 --> 00:41:07,323 Late Bloomers. 665 00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:10,118 Looks like one of those Victorian plays where many people say, "arse". 666 00:41:10,218 --> 00:41:13,663 Well, it is about people who find their true talents later in life. 667 00:41:14,514 --> 00:41:16,708 Sylvester Stallone, he was a deli counter attendant. 668 00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:21,087 Rodney Dangerfield gave up selling aluminium siding to go on to become 669 00:41:21,187 --> 00:41:23,965 - one of the most famous comedians ever. - Yeah? 670 00:41:24,065 --> 00:41:25,967 Alan Rickman, a fellow countryman, 671 00:41:26,067 --> 00:41:28,303 didn't get a movie role until he was 48. 672 00:41:28,403 --> 00:41:30,638 - Wow. - Susan Boyle was 46. 673 00:41:30,738 --> 00:41:35,093 Laura Ingalls Wilder didn't write Little House on the Prairie until she was 65. 674 00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:36,561 Incredible. And look at that. 675 00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:39,014 Jesus didn't give up carpentry until he was 30. 676 00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:42,021 Yeah, and now he's, like, a top guy in his field. 677 00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:46,154 The thing is, you see, I would argue late bloomers may have had talent all along. 678 00:41:46,254 --> 00:41:48,197 It was just unrecognised. There's a difference. 679 00:41:48,548 --> 00:41:51,197 I disagree. I think it's just about focusing. 680 00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:52,827 Right. 681 00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:55,867 I wish you'd focused on my umbrella. 682 00:41:56,097 --> 00:41:58,325 Oh, it's a good thing I don't work on commission. 683 00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:03,629 Hat? 684 00:42:04,230 --> 00:42:05,331 Yes, all right. 685 00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:21,727 Yeah, come in. 686 00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:25,647 Clem, hello. 687 00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:29,781 - Are you all right? - I noticed this discolouration on my arm. 688 00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:33,485 I thought it was the flesh-eating virus, but the infirmary says it's just a dry patch. 689 00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:35,070 Well, better luck next time. 690 00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:36,704 But the good news is, 691 00:42:36,804 --> 00:42:39,623 I have now finished your completed script, and... 692 00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:42,034 It's brilliant. 693 00:42:42,143 --> 00:42:43,211 - Wow, really? - Yeah. 694 00:42:43,311 --> 00:42:45,546 It's unbelievable. It's annoying, actually. Have you always written? 695 00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:48,049 Pretty much. Especially in high school. 696 00:42:48,149 --> 00:42:50,343 It gave me something to do in between getting beaten up. 697 00:42:50,526 --> 00:42:53,254 Yeah well, most good writers spend a lot of their time getting beaten up. 698 00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:55,223 And I'll tell you something wonderful about Hollywood. 699 00:42:55,323 --> 00:42:56,675 Nerds can rule. 700 00:42:57,408 --> 00:42:58,601 Not that you're a nerd, I mean... 701 00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:01,229 Are you kidding? I aspire to nerd. 702 00:43:01,329 --> 00:43:05,233 OK, so, what I'd like to do is just give you my few, inane notes 703 00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:08,569 which if you've seen my last few movies, you will know to ignore 704 00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:11,648 and then, I'd like to show this to my agent. 705 00:43:12,173 --> 00:43:14,901 Are you kidding? Thank you. 706 00:43:18,346 --> 00:43:21,374 I don't have a Kleenex, but I have this. 707 00:43:21,474 --> 00:43:22,621 It's as good as. 708 00:43:22,934 --> 00:43:24,581 Let's ask the Rabbi what he thinks. 709 00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:27,463 Suddenly, they see Rabbi Stein eat some food. 710 00:43:27,563 --> 00:43:30,462 Alicia says, "Oh, no, he's allergic to nuts!" 711 00:43:30,691 --> 00:43:32,839 And the Rabbi grabs for his heart. 712 00:43:33,611 --> 00:43:35,258 End of Act 1. 713 00:43:35,696 --> 00:43:37,348 It's completely contrived. 714 00:43:37,448 --> 00:43:40,927 Your lead character resembles no one who's ever walked the planet. 715 00:43:41,494 --> 00:43:42,720 She's based on me. 716 00:43:43,037 --> 00:43:44,605 Maybe you need a villain. 717 00:43:44,705 --> 00:43:48,025 He could wear a mask that covers his face. You could hear his breathing. 718 00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:50,311 I thought it had some really nice touches. 719 00:43:50,545 --> 00:43:52,192 Me too. I really enjoyed it. 720 00:43:52,296 --> 00:43:53,443 Very quick read. 721 00:43:53,548 --> 00:43:56,576 You start with two pages describing clouds. 722 00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:58,786 If it was a movie about a meteorologist, fine, 723 00:43:58,886 --> 00:44:01,489 but it's a story about a Bat Mitzvah gone wrong. 724 00:44:01,597 --> 00:44:03,415 Ok, Andrea, good. 725 00:44:03,599 --> 00:44:05,542 Let me just ask you this question. Sit down. 726 00:44:06,686 --> 00:44:07,878 Why did you write this? 727 00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:09,714 - What do you mean? - Well, 728 00:44:09,814 --> 00:44:12,417 what was the thing that made you want to write this story? 729 00:44:13,568 --> 00:44:15,170 - I don't know. - OK. 730 00:44:15,403 --> 00:44:17,346 Your favourite film, Dirty Dancing, what's that about? 731 00:44:17,446 --> 00:44:19,557 A girl who learns to dance and falls in love. 732 00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:21,805 Yes. But isn't it about more than that? 733 00:44:22,076 --> 00:44:24,228 Isn't it about a girl named Baby 734 00:44:24,328 --> 00:44:26,773 who discovers that she is in fact becoming a woman? 735 00:44:26,873 --> 00:44:28,520 Isn't it about lost innocence? 736 00:44:28,875 --> 00:44:30,026 Yes, I guess so. 737 00:44:30,126 --> 00:44:33,321 See, the thing is, writing a movie is so hard, 738 00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:35,364 it's like jumping into the sea. 739 00:44:35,464 --> 00:44:36,657 And you need a life raft. 740 00:44:36,757 --> 00:44:39,494 And that raft is the impulse behind the movie. 741 00:44:39,594 --> 00:44:42,163 It's the thing that made you want to write the story in the first place. 742 00:44:42,263 --> 00:44:45,037 You've got to figure that out and then cling on for dear life. 743 00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:47,743 So why did you write Paradise Misplaced? 744 00:44:48,102 --> 00:44:51,047 - We don't want to talk about my stuff. - Yeah, why did you tell that story, 745 00:44:51,147 --> 00:44:52,340 - Mr Michaels? - How did you come up with that? 746 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,884 - Yeah, what was your life raft? - Did you have a near-death experience? 747 00:44:59,447 --> 00:45:01,220 Well, it was a... 748 00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:04,844 I used to tell my son stories at night. 749 00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:06,641 You have a son? 750 00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:07,897 Yeah, yeah, Alex. 751 00:45:07,997 --> 00:45:10,024 He's 18 now 752 00:45:10,124 --> 00:45:12,397 and he is a freshman at Stanford University. 753 00:45:12,543 --> 00:45:14,236 Wow. So, he's really smart. 754 00:45:14,629 --> 00:45:18,199 Well, his mother was quite clever. Smart enough to divorce me anyway. 755 00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:20,902 But, while we were still together, 756 00:45:21,594 --> 00:45:23,788 my dad died and... 757 00:45:23,888 --> 00:45:25,414 Suddenly Alex, at age five, 758 00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:29,039 became frightened of the dark and obsessed with death. 759 00:45:29,685 --> 00:45:33,585 So I invented a story about heaven to comfort him. 760 00:45:35,316 --> 00:45:37,510 He didn't really buy it, you know? 761 00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:40,221 He had so many brilliant and detailed questions 762 00:45:40,321 --> 00:45:42,719 that I had to refine my answers every night. 763 00:45:44,158 --> 00:45:48,396 That turned into the story of two angels who botch a mission to take a soul 764 00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:50,773 to heaven and have to go to hell to get her back. 765 00:45:50,873 --> 00:45:52,400 Paradise Misplaced. 766 00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:53,726 Yeah, yeah. 767 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,904 It was a fairy tale, you know, 768 00:45:57,421 --> 00:45:59,944 designed to make a five-year-old boy go to sleep. 769 00:46:03,761 --> 00:46:06,914 And that's the thing, you know. Just having that idea, 770 00:46:07,014 --> 00:46:09,584 however big or small, is an enormous help 771 00:46:09,684 --> 00:46:12,754 when you're drifting to sea somewhere in the middle of your second act. 772 00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:15,506 I mean, let's say, for instance, 773 00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:18,926 that I was going to write a sequel to Paradise Misplaced. 774 00:46:19,026 --> 00:46:19,969 Are you going to do that? 775 00:46:20,069 --> 00:46:22,096 I ask the question purely academically, 776 00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:24,549 but you know, what could be the spine to that story? 777 00:46:32,456 --> 00:46:36,360 Well, I always thought Paradise Misplaced was about second chances 778 00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:39,530 and how it's never too late to redeem yourself and to start over again. 779 00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:43,075 Interesting, Miss Carpenter, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 780 00:46:43,175 --> 00:46:45,244 I'm sorry, I just had an unrelated thought. 781 00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:48,164 - Yeah, Billy? - Maybe instead of going to Hell this time, 782 00:46:48,264 --> 00:46:49,786 they go into space. 783 00:46:50,349 --> 00:46:52,293 OK, yeah. I think I see where you're going with that one. 784 00:46:52,393 --> 00:46:53,836 It needs a love story. 785 00:46:53,936 --> 00:46:55,379 It should be in 3-D. 786 00:46:55,896 --> 00:46:57,381 One of the angels from the original movie 787 00:46:57,481 --> 00:46:59,342 could have been captured and brought down to Hell 788 00:46:59,442 --> 00:47:01,795 so two younger angels have to try and get him back. 789 00:47:02,194 --> 00:47:05,639 Jonah Hill. And Channing Tatum. We know that works. 790 00:47:06,574 --> 00:47:08,351 Good, good, good, good. 791 00:47:08,451 --> 00:47:10,679 Yes. Well, I hope you're learning something here. 792 00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:16,309 Hey. Hey! 793 00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:19,270 That was an incredible story you told about your son today. 794 00:47:20,796 --> 00:47:22,698 Yeah. I shouldn't have really gotten caught up in all that. 795 00:47:22,798 --> 00:47:23,991 No, it was really moving. 796 00:47:24,091 --> 00:47:26,193 I was just surprised you hadn't mentioned it before. 797 00:47:26,761 --> 00:47:29,489 Hey, let's go someplace and talk. Really talk. 798 00:47:29,972 --> 00:47:31,832 There's this restaurant called Number 5. 799 00:47:31,932 --> 00:47:34,794 You know, that would be lovely, but I had not realised 800 00:47:34,894 --> 00:47:37,088 that there's this school policy. 801 00:47:37,188 --> 00:47:38,589 Discouraging teachers and students 802 00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:41,008 from having "romantic and extracurricular relationships". 803 00:47:41,108 --> 00:47:43,177 - Yeah, exactly. - But it happens all the time. 804 00:47:43,277 --> 00:47:47,098 I've had relationships with three of my professors and teaching assistants. 805 00:47:48,032 --> 00:47:49,350 Wow. Three. 806 00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:51,477 And I just think trying to tell adults 807 00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:54,480 what they can or can't do with their personal lives is ridiculous. 808 00:47:54,580 --> 00:47:57,433 I agree with that, but in our case, 809 00:47:58,292 --> 00:48:00,861 one of us is so much more adult than the other. 810 00:48:00,961 --> 00:48:03,030 I don't mean emotionally, because obviously that would be you... 811 00:48:03,130 --> 00:48:04,448 Age is just a number. 812 00:48:04,548 --> 00:48:07,326 I care about who a person is. And you're an amazing man. 813 00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:09,328 - Well, fair enough... - Listen to me. 814 00:48:09,428 --> 00:48:10,905 Do you know Steven Spielberg? 815 00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:13,207 Know him? No, not really. We've met. 816 00:48:13,307 --> 00:48:15,459 If you bumped into him in the street, would he recognise you? 817 00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:18,671 Well, if I bumped into him really hard and, you know, reintroduced myself 818 00:48:18,771 --> 00:48:20,089 when he was lying on the sidewalk, I suppose. 819 00:48:20,189 --> 00:48:21,340 What about George Clooney? 820 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,718 We had a lunch. I pitched him something he really hated. 821 00:48:23,818 --> 00:48:27,513 Do you realise how amazing this is? These people are the gods of our time. 822 00:48:27,822 --> 00:48:29,473 Yeah, I'm not sure anyone in the Screen Actors Guild 823 00:48:29,573 --> 00:48:30,890 should really be called a god. 824 00:48:31,033 --> 00:48:33,561 Every society back to ancient times had gods. 825 00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:35,479 I'm minoring in anthropology. 826 00:48:35,579 --> 00:48:37,064 First it was the stars and the sun, 827 00:48:37,164 --> 00:48:39,859 then the Greeks and Romans anthropomorphised them. 828 00:48:39,959 --> 00:48:41,444 Then, we had monotheism, 829 00:48:41,544 --> 00:48:44,196 and in today's culture our gods are celebrities. 830 00:48:44,296 --> 00:48:46,023 And you know them personally. 831 00:48:46,215 --> 00:48:47,908 I suppose that makes me a kind of demi-god. 832 00:48:48,008 --> 00:48:49,201 Quite a morale-booster. 833 00:48:49,301 --> 00:48:52,913 Besides, what if you meet your soulmate this way? 834 00:48:53,013 --> 00:48:54,832 What if you meet the person you're going to marry? 835 00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:56,454 Is that something to be discouraged? 836 00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:00,755 No, I suppose not. No. 837 00:49:00,855 --> 00:49:02,089 Then let's go to dinner. 838 00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:05,051 Unless, you just want it to be about sex. And I'm fine with that. 839 00:49:05,151 --> 00:49:07,136 Just say that you only want it to be about sex. 840 00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:09,805 I certainly don't want that. 841 00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:10,931 I... 842 00:49:11,031 --> 00:49:12,808 Let's talk about it at dinner. That's a good idea. 843 00:49:12,908 --> 00:49:14,100 Great. 844 00:49:24,879 --> 00:49:26,572 Calm down. No one's going to see us 845 00:49:26,672 --> 00:49:27,948 and who cares if they did. 846 00:49:28,048 --> 00:49:30,785 Yup. You're absolutely right. Silly of me to be worried. 847 00:49:30,885 --> 00:49:33,613 So your son? What is he majoring in? 848 00:49:34,096 --> 00:49:35,743 Well, you know... 849 00:49:36,223 --> 00:49:37,833 I'm not absolutely certain. 850 00:49:37,933 --> 00:49:39,794 Welcome to... Oh. 851 00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:40,961 - Oh, Lord. - Hi. 852 00:49:41,061 --> 00:49:43,964 - Mr Michaels and Karen. - Hello, Holly. 853 00:49:44,064 --> 00:49:45,591 Wow, so you work here? 854 00:49:45,691 --> 00:49:48,544 No, I just walk around with a pad and I find out what people like to eat. 855 00:49:49,069 --> 00:49:51,012 - I'd like the ahi tuna. - OK. 856 00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:52,556 Excellent choice. 857 00:49:52,656 --> 00:49:54,258 Great. And a glass of Chardonnay. 858 00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:56,803 OK. Just need to see an ID. 859 00:49:56,911 --> 00:49:57,853 Seriously? 860 00:49:57,953 --> 00:49:59,430 That's just restaurant policy. 861 00:50:09,548 --> 00:50:13,494 Oh, I'm sorry. That doesn't look real. 862 00:50:13,761 --> 00:50:14,829 Yes, it is. 863 00:50:14,929 --> 00:50:16,288 I can take it to the manager. 864 00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:18,749 I'll tell you what. Why don't I order a Chardonnay 865 00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:19,950 and we can share it. 866 00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:22,749 OK. Are we going to get straws? Am I three years old? 867 00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:24,955 Well, we don't really know, because your ID is fake. 868 00:50:26,148 --> 00:50:27,249 Sorry. 869 00:50:27,942 --> 00:50:29,885 I'm going to change my order, it's fine. 870 00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:32,300 I'll have a beef enchilada and a margarita 871 00:50:32,613 --> 00:50:34,841 at Café Mexico with Judy and Chloe. 872 00:50:35,407 --> 00:50:36,508 Karen. 873 00:50:37,618 --> 00:50:38,719 Karen. 874 00:50:39,995 --> 00:50:41,355 Don't make a big thing about this. 875 00:50:41,455 --> 00:50:44,859 She's being totally rude and it'd be nice if you stood up for me. 876 00:50:44,959 --> 00:50:47,107 Either you take me seriously or you don't. 877 00:50:47,253 --> 00:50:48,320 No, I do. 878 00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:50,698 I just think it's probably her job to ask that question 879 00:50:50,798 --> 00:50:51,899 - and she... - Good night. 880 00:50:56,428 --> 00:50:57,871 Daughters. 881 00:51:02,977 --> 00:51:07,048 It might have been real, we just have to check. 882 00:51:07,481 --> 00:51:09,254 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 883 00:51:12,987 --> 00:51:15,764 So, the ahi tuna actually sounded delicious. 884 00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:17,892 And I will have a glass of Chardonnay. 885 00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:19,093 Thank you. 886 00:51:19,743 --> 00:51:21,265 Would you like to see ID? 887 00:51:26,125 --> 00:51:28,728 Hey, I'm driving you home. 888 00:51:30,254 --> 00:51:32,823 Wow, this is a full-service restaurant. 889 00:51:32,923 --> 00:51:35,242 Well, you had two glasses and you had two at the bar 890 00:51:35,342 --> 00:51:36,952 and if you die, I don't get to take your course 891 00:51:37,052 --> 00:51:38,454 and it's going to screw up my whole schedule. 892 00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:40,623 What about my car? 893 00:51:40,723 --> 00:51:42,291 It's a Hyundai. It'll be there in the morning. 894 00:51:51,066 --> 00:51:53,970 The girls are doing a disco performance. 895 00:51:54,570 --> 00:51:56,513 I'm helping. You know, I used to dance. 896 00:51:57,573 --> 00:52:00,309 No, I know. You danced modern. It's in your script. 897 00:52:00,409 --> 00:52:02,478 Peggy goes all the way to the big city 898 00:52:02,578 --> 00:52:04,647 to dance before coming back and marrying Ted, 899 00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:07,942 the hot, but quite thick minor league baseball player. 900 00:52:08,042 --> 00:52:11,820 I didn't write "big city". I said "New York". 901 00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,822 You think we're all rubes up here? 902 00:52:13,922 --> 00:52:15,783 Very much so, yes, yes, yes. 903 00:52:15,883 --> 00:52:19,286 That true, did you really dance in an off-Broadway show? 904 00:52:19,386 --> 00:52:21,455 Yes, until I blew my ankle out. 905 00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:25,667 Must have been tough, coming back here after being in the big... 906 00:52:26,226 --> 00:52:27,461 Manhattan. 907 00:52:27,561 --> 00:52:29,413 Why? 908 00:52:30,064 --> 00:52:31,674 Binghamton rocks. 909 00:52:31,774 --> 00:52:34,343 Oh, I know. I know. 910 00:52:38,364 --> 00:52:40,091 How does it rock? 911 00:52:41,325 --> 00:52:42,677 Gorgeous. 912 00:52:42,868 --> 00:52:46,647 One of the oldest antique carousels in the United States. 913 00:52:46,747 --> 00:52:48,440 Rod Serling used it as the model 914 00:52:48,540 --> 00:52:51,519 for one of the most famous episodes of The Twilight Zone ever. 915 00:52:52,252 --> 00:52:53,399 Do you know it? 916 00:52:53,754 --> 00:52:55,781 I was always too scared to watch The Twilight Zone 917 00:52:55,881 --> 00:52:56,991 because of that music. 918 00:52:57,091 --> 00:52:58,325 You mean... 919 00:53:00,052 --> 00:53:01,453 Yup, that's it. Yup. 920 00:53:03,430 --> 00:53:06,083 You're very good. You can stop now. Please. 921 00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:08,035 Please, seriously, stop, stop. 922 00:53:08,852 --> 00:53:12,339 It's the story of a middle-aged man who's lost his way 923 00:53:12,439 --> 00:53:14,717 and goes back in time to the park he used to play in. 924 00:53:14,817 --> 00:53:16,594 This park. 925 00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,888 And, he rides the merry-go-round 926 00:53:19,446 --> 00:53:21,098 and he sees his father and his father tells him 927 00:53:21,198 --> 00:53:22,850 that he has to move on with his life 928 00:53:22,950 --> 00:53:27,021 because he's been looking behind him and he has to try looking ahead. 929 00:53:27,121 --> 00:53:29,273 All right, well, thank you for the history lesson. 930 00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:31,191 Folks, closing in a minute. 931 00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:34,395 And thanks for being so understanding tonight about Karen. 932 00:53:35,087 --> 00:53:36,822 It's not what it seems. 933 00:53:36,922 --> 00:53:39,199 Seems like you're sleeping with her. 934 00:53:39,299 --> 00:53:41,243 Then it is what it seems. 935 00:53:41,343 --> 00:53:43,037 I mean, I realise I shouldn't be leading her on, but... 936 00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:44,371 - Oh! - I mean, it takes... 937 00:53:44,471 --> 00:53:47,908 You think it's about you? It's about her father. 938 00:53:50,978 --> 00:53:52,171 What do you mean, it's about her father? 939 00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:54,840 The whole subtext of her script is about a young girl 940 00:53:54,940 --> 00:53:57,509 trying to get her distant, powerful father's love. 941 00:53:58,610 --> 00:54:02,181 You're just a substitute for the attention she never got from an older male figure. 942 00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:03,515 That's rather disturbing. 943 00:54:03,615 --> 00:54:05,392 What's disturbing is what does it say about you? 944 00:54:05,492 --> 00:54:08,766 You trying to fill a spiritual vacancy with alcohol and young women? 945 00:54:09,288 --> 00:54:10,435 Yes. 946 00:54:18,338 --> 00:54:19,564 Well. 947 00:54:20,340 --> 00:54:21,737 Thank you very much. 948 00:54:23,051 --> 00:54:24,277 No problem. 949 00:54:28,557 --> 00:54:30,125 - Good. - Yes. 950 00:54:41,153 --> 00:54:43,430 That was very nice of you to show me the sights of Binghamton. 951 00:54:43,530 --> 00:54:45,099 Oh, the sight. That was about it. 952 00:54:45,199 --> 00:54:47,685 Well it was surprisingly lovely and... 953 00:54:47,785 --> 00:54:50,604 You're very easy to talk to even though you did do most of the talking. 954 00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:52,356 Thank you. I think. 955 00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:54,399 And you look very nice in your waitress uniform. 956 00:54:55,459 --> 00:54:56,985 But, I've always had a yen for uniforms. 957 00:54:57,085 --> 00:54:58,946 I think Kim Jong-Eun looks pretty sexy. 958 00:54:59,446 --> 00:55:02,265 Well, I am flattered by the competition. 959 00:55:05,677 --> 00:55:06,994 Yeah. 960 00:55:08,055 --> 00:55:09,957 OK. Good night. 961 00:55:10,057 --> 00:55:11,500 Good night. 962 00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:31,645 Character. 963 00:55:31,745 --> 00:55:33,939 Character is everything. 964 00:55:34,039 --> 00:55:36,608 Fortunately, not in life, but in storytelling. 965 00:55:36,708 --> 00:55:39,486 Make sure that your characters drive the plot 966 00:55:39,586 --> 00:55:41,188 and not the other way around. 967 00:55:43,215 --> 00:55:45,067 Yes, questions? Anyone else? 968 00:55:46,969 --> 00:55:48,245 Karen, yeah? 969 00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:51,165 I'm just wondering, given that besides Paradise Misplaced 970 00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:54,126 all your other films were critical and commercial failures, 971 00:55:54,226 --> 00:55:56,875 why should we take this or any advice from you? 972 00:56:03,443 --> 00:56:07,047 Well, you shouldn't. Because... 973 00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:12,043 When it comes to writing, there are no rules, you know? 974 00:56:12,143 --> 00:56:16,690 Except be true to the story you're telling. Just make it your own unique voice. 975 00:56:16,790 --> 00:56:19,439 So thank you for pointing that out, Karen. That's very helpful. 976 00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:47,888 Well, I enjoyed your pages, Sara, 977 00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:52,434 but, why is it subtitled when the film is in English? 978 00:56:52,534 --> 00:56:56,230 To demonstrate the vast gulf between what we say and what we mean. 979 00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:57,815 No one's ever done that before. 980 00:56:57,915 --> 00:57:00,609 Yeah, I think Woody Allen did it in Annie Hall. 981 00:57:01,668 --> 00:57:03,153 That was a comedy. 982 00:57:03,253 --> 00:57:04,947 I'm not interested in comedy. 983 00:57:05,047 --> 00:57:07,366 No, no, I do see that. Yes. 984 00:57:07,466 --> 00:57:09,910 - Thanks, Mr Michaels. - Thank you, Rosa. 985 00:57:10,010 --> 00:57:12,746 - Thank you, Mr Michaels. - Thank you, Andrea, Clem, Billy... 986 00:57:12,846 --> 00:57:14,957 Maya. At last, thank you. 987 00:57:15,057 --> 00:57:18,085 Andrea, this is vastly improved. 988 00:57:18,185 --> 00:57:20,879 Really? I'm going to cry. 989 00:57:20,979 --> 00:57:23,090 No, really, you've done a good job 990 00:57:23,190 --> 00:57:27,594 of foreshadowing by starting the script with the Bat Mitzvah video, 991 00:57:27,694 --> 00:57:29,346 giving us a hint of the horror to come. 992 00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:34,052 But, I still think maybe you just need to define the larger theme of your story. 993 00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:38,272 What about the idea that you really have to do everything yourself? 994 00:57:38,372 --> 00:57:40,520 Because you can never trust caterers. 995 00:57:41,249 --> 00:57:44,695 Yeah. That might be a tad close to The Hurt Locker. 996 00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:47,364 Did you think you could maybe dig a little deeper? 997 00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:50,157 I don't think I go that deep. 998 00:57:51,051 --> 00:57:53,153 That's what everybody keeps telling me anyways. 999 00:57:55,097 --> 00:57:58,167 Well, let's prove everybody wrong. 1000 00:58:07,109 --> 00:58:08,760 OK, well here's my thought, Billy, 1001 00:58:08,860 --> 00:58:10,762 and I know how much you love Star Wars, 1002 00:58:10,862 --> 00:58:13,473 but I'm just not sure it's really going to pass muster to just 1003 00:58:13,573 --> 00:58:16,643 retell those stories and change some names around. 1004 00:58:17,202 --> 00:58:18,186 I didn't. 1005 00:58:18,286 --> 00:58:21,640 Well, you have a small, wise, greenish character called Zoda. 1006 00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:24,067 - That's not the same. - Yes, 1007 00:58:24,167 --> 00:58:27,112 but I just think maybe it'd be good to let go of your obsessions. 1008 00:58:27,212 --> 00:58:28,313 Do you have other ideas? 1009 00:58:29,047 --> 00:58:32,447 I was thinking about trying to join a frat. 1010 00:58:32,592 --> 00:58:35,866 Well, that would take care of your social life, I suppose. 1011 00:58:37,305 --> 00:58:38,907 Anything we could do, writing-wise? 1012 00:58:39,725 --> 00:58:41,327 They're kind of the same thing. 1013 00:58:42,561 --> 00:58:45,422 A lot of nights when I'm sitting home alone, 1014 00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:48,546 Star Wars is what I look forward to. 1015 00:58:48,984 --> 00:58:52,930 And sometimes I wish it was real and I could go live in that world. 1016 00:58:53,030 --> 00:58:54,507 So, that's what I write about. 1017 00:58:55,991 --> 00:58:57,559 It's just that somebody already wrote it. 1018 00:58:58,118 --> 00:59:00,391 Yeah, no, it's bad timing. 1019 00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:03,019 So you think I should do the frat thing? 1020 00:59:03,957 --> 00:59:06,902 Yeah, why not? Expand your horizons. 1021 00:59:07,002 --> 00:59:10,902 Go forth like Luke Skywalker and find new worlds to conquer. 1022 00:59:12,966 --> 00:59:14,201 - Mr Michaels. - Rosa. 1023 00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:15,661 Sorry to bother, but... 1024 00:59:15,761 --> 00:59:19,206 That was an awesome class on character development the other day. Thanks. 1025 00:59:19,306 --> 00:59:21,158 Oh, well, my pleasure, Rosa. 1026 00:59:24,811 --> 00:59:27,047 You know, I've been teaching for 25 years, 1027 00:59:27,147 --> 00:59:28,464 nobody's ever thanked me. 1028 00:59:29,274 --> 00:59:30,509 Thank you. 1029 00:59:30,609 --> 00:59:33,178 You're welcome. Ooh, that felt good. 1030 00:59:33,987 --> 00:59:37,766 I've been hearing really good buzz from the kids on your course, Keith. 1031 00:59:37,866 --> 00:59:41,228 I know Hollywood is calling, but if you could stay, we'd love to have you. 1032 00:59:41,328 --> 00:59:43,931 Well, I appreciate that, it's very flattering. Thanks. 1033 00:59:44,498 --> 00:59:47,898 I don't think students should even be allowed to attend these events. 1034 01:00:10,774 --> 01:00:12,968 Oh, you look good doing that. Watch the hair. 1035 01:00:52,399 --> 01:00:54,301 - Yes, hello, Ellen. - Hey. 1036 01:00:54,401 --> 01:00:56,636 - Got the outline. Looks good. - Excellent. 1037 01:00:56,736 --> 01:00:59,639 I think even an agent of your calibre should be able to sell it. 1038 01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:03,894 And, I have a script I'd like you to take a look at by a young man in my class. 1039 01:01:03,994 --> 01:01:04,978 Oh, yeah? 1040 01:01:05,078 --> 01:01:06,813 Yeah. It's called Veronica, Out of Time 1041 01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:09,858 and it's about a kick-ass girl who gets sucked into a time machine 1042 01:01:09,958 --> 01:01:12,736 and has to fight her way back through various periods of history. 1043 01:01:12,836 --> 01:01:14,988 Imagine The Matrix meets Gossip Girl. 1044 01:01:15,088 --> 01:01:18,366 - Oh. Hold that. I like that. - Yeah, me too. 1045 01:01:18,466 --> 01:01:20,660 And if anything happens with it, I would like to produce. 1046 01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,080 Email me the pages. In the meantime, stay out of trouble. 1047 01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:25,665 I'm in Binghamton. What trouble could I get into? 1048 01:01:25,765 --> 01:01:26,866 Oh, hang on. 1049 01:01:27,559 --> 01:01:30,162 I think I just discovered how the rhetorical question was invented. 1050 01:01:31,062 --> 01:01:32,755 - I'll talk to you later. - Bye. 1051 01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:35,508 Hi. 1052 01:01:35,734 --> 01:01:38,428 I want to discuss our relationship, if you can call it that. 1053 01:01:38,528 --> 01:01:41,139 Well, exactly, I am not sure that you can, 1054 01:01:41,239 --> 01:01:43,642 because if your script is any kind of guide, 1055 01:01:43,742 --> 01:01:46,103 it could be said that any interest you have in me 1056 01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:49,981 is just a misplaced attempt to earn the attention 1057 01:01:50,081 --> 01:01:52,855 that you never received from a remote father figure. 1058 01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:55,900 Jesus. 1059 01:01:56,379 --> 01:01:58,072 I mean, I don't mean to offend. 1060 01:01:59,065 --> 01:02:00,965 That's unbelievably insightful. 1061 01:02:00,966 --> 01:02:02,990 Well, it was very obvious to me from your pages. 1062 01:02:03,303 --> 01:02:04,955 And, can I tell you what I think 1063 01:02:05,055 --> 01:02:08,034 is the most significant problem with your otherwise very promising script? 1064 01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:10,794 Fine. OK, sure, tell me. 1065 01:02:10,894 --> 01:02:16,258 All right. So your father character is rich, narcissistic, selfish, womanising... 1066 01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:17,467 Yeah, I know. Too unlikeable. 1067 01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:19,636 No, no, no, I loved him. He's fantastic. 1068 01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:22,430 You loved him? That's perverse. 1069 01:02:22,530 --> 01:02:24,891 Well, he's an incredibly well-drawn character. 1070 01:02:24,991 --> 01:02:27,644 The problem is with the daughter, she's sort of paper-thin, you know? 1071 01:02:27,744 --> 01:02:30,564 She's a good daughter, she's a good student. 1072 01:02:30,664 --> 01:02:32,399 There's no flaws, nothing needs to be fixed. 1073 01:02:32,499 --> 01:02:33,984 So? The father needs to be fixed. 1074 01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:35,652 Which is what makes him an interesting character. 1075 01:02:35,752 --> 01:02:39,573 And in reaction to that, I think that maybe the daughter should be... 1076 01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:44,953 Libidinous, spoiled, sexually manipulative, you know, more like... 1077 01:02:47,514 --> 01:02:48,832 So many interesting characters. 1078 01:02:48,932 --> 01:02:50,784 Like me? You were going to say me. 1079 01:02:51,768 --> 01:02:54,087 - Not at all. - You were looking right at me. 1080 01:02:54,187 --> 01:02:56,464 I was looking in that direction. 1081 01:02:56,564 --> 01:02:58,666 Karen, Karen. 1082 01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:02,721 Listen, listen. I did not mean you. I did not mean you 1083 01:03:02,821 --> 01:03:06,308 and I really do think that your script has enormous potential. 1084 01:03:06,408 --> 01:03:08,768 And I really do think you should go fuck yourself. 1085 01:03:08,868 --> 01:03:11,229 Oh, and bring my weed in. I left it your house. 1086 01:03:11,329 --> 01:03:15,025 Because after this relationship, I really need to get baked. 1087 01:03:20,588 --> 01:03:22,073 Office hours. 1088 01:03:22,173 --> 01:03:24,618 There's nothing like one-on-one time with a student, is there? 1089 01:03:24,718 --> 01:03:25,944 How are you today? 1090 01:03:30,223 --> 01:03:32,626 Hey, are you OK, buddy? 1091 01:03:32,726 --> 01:03:35,462 I'm not sure. 1092 01:03:35,562 --> 01:03:37,710 Maybe I should go home and eat the rest of Karen's pot. 1093 01:03:39,649 --> 01:03:40,966 I know what you need. 1094 01:03:48,241 --> 01:03:49,513 Right? 1095 01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:50,810 Incredible. 1096 01:03:50,910 --> 01:03:53,263 All we need is a good wine and this is Paris. 1097 01:03:54,914 --> 01:03:58,689 Well, since my four daughters and my wife became vegetarians, 1098 01:03:59,336 --> 01:04:01,780 I'm not allowed to have any meat in the house, so, 1099 01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:04,529 I'm going to get some pork Spiedies to go and store them in my office. 1100 01:04:08,762 --> 01:04:11,164 - That's a little bit sad, isn't it? - What? 1101 01:04:11,264 --> 01:04:14,413 Well, you know, being henpecked to death like that. 1102 01:04:15,643 --> 01:04:18,292 Are you kidding me? He's the happiest guy I know. 1103 01:04:19,064 --> 01:04:21,174 At faculty meetings, we bet on how long 1104 01:04:21,274 --> 01:04:24,010 it will take him to cry when he talks about his family. 1105 01:04:24,110 --> 01:04:25,837 Twenty-five seconds is the record. 1106 01:04:26,279 --> 01:04:27,847 Seriously? Dr Lerner? 1107 01:04:27,947 --> 01:04:31,176 I'm telling you. In a perfect world, I should be that happy. 1108 01:04:33,787 --> 01:04:37,524 I started seeing this woman, Joan. 1109 01:04:37,624 --> 01:04:40,193 She's an insurance agent with State Farm. 1110 01:04:40,293 --> 01:04:41,736 She specialises in collision. 1111 01:04:41,961 --> 01:04:42,946 Don't let her go. 1112 01:04:43,046 --> 01:04:44,614 I'm trying not to. 1113 01:04:45,799 --> 01:04:47,151 What's the secret? 1114 01:04:47,759 --> 01:04:48,702 You're asking me? 1115 01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:51,162 I've been divorced for 10 years and you just caught me in the hall 1116 01:04:51,262 --> 01:04:53,206 being severely berated by an undergraduate. 1117 01:04:53,306 --> 01:04:57,081 I don't know, my only thought is that you be yourself. 1118 01:04:59,771 --> 01:05:01,715 - No, that's not going to work. - No, you're obviously right. 1119 01:05:01,815 --> 01:05:04,509 But in an ideal world, that's what you hope for, isn't it? 1120 01:05:04,609 --> 01:05:07,554 That you find someone you can be yourself with, you know? 1121 01:05:07,654 --> 01:05:10,473 Some smart, funny woman full of fire and honesty, 1122 01:05:10,573 --> 01:05:12,767 who looks great dancing barefoot 1123 01:05:12,867 --> 01:05:15,311 and can obviously see straight through you. 1124 01:05:18,498 --> 01:05:20,100 Why barefoot? 1125 01:05:21,167 --> 01:05:22,644 I enjoy feet. 1126 01:05:24,879 --> 01:05:26,071 Hey. 1127 01:05:26,589 --> 01:05:29,909 So, Harold, you don't happen to have any pictures of your family, do you? 1128 01:05:30,009 --> 01:05:32,453 Oh, I don't know, maybe. I might. 1129 01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:36,458 A-ha, Look at that. 1130 01:05:36,558 --> 01:05:37,917 My wife, Helen. 1131 01:05:38,017 --> 01:05:41,880 And that's Kate, Rosalind, Olivia 1132 01:05:41,980 --> 01:05:44,128 and the little one is Beatrice. 1133 01:05:44,315 --> 01:05:45,467 That Beatrice. 1134 01:05:45,567 --> 01:05:47,802 She's got a mischievous glint in her eye, doesn't she? 1135 01:05:47,902 --> 01:05:49,424 Yeah. Unbelievable. 1136 01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:54,684 I forgot napkins. 1137 01:05:55,284 --> 01:05:57,979 OK, 33 seconds. Solid time. 1138 01:06:02,208 --> 01:06:03,485 So, this is funny. 1139 01:06:03,585 --> 01:06:05,028 It's engaging. 1140 01:06:05,128 --> 01:06:08,156 My only thing is I'm just a little confused about Jack, 1141 01:06:08,256 --> 01:06:11,284 this conservative, older banker who is now dating Peggy. 1142 01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:12,494 Oh, what's wrong with him? 1143 01:06:12,594 --> 01:06:14,621 Well, he's a bit dull for Peggy, isn't he? 1144 01:06:14,721 --> 01:06:18,666 No, Jack's steady. He's from Peggy's hometown. 1145 01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:19,751 He'd be a great stepfather. 1146 01:06:19,851 --> 01:06:22,295 Yeah, but Peggy doesn't love Jack. 1147 01:06:22,395 --> 01:06:24,339 Maybe not, but Peggy can learn to. 1148 01:06:24,439 --> 01:06:25,924 Yes, of course, if Peggy puts her mind to it. 1149 01:06:26,024 --> 01:06:27,175 Stupid of me, yes. 1150 01:06:27,275 --> 01:06:29,177 And, you know, Jerry's not such a bad egg. 1151 01:06:29,277 --> 01:06:30,678 Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop. 1152 01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:32,050 Who's Jerry? 1153 01:06:33,072 --> 01:06:34,389 Does Jack know about Jerry? 1154 01:06:35,241 --> 01:06:37,719 No. Jack is Jerry. 1155 01:06:39,329 --> 01:06:40,939 - Jack is Jerry. - Jack is Jerry. 1156 01:06:41,039 --> 01:06:43,108 Oh, so Jerry is a man you are seeing. 1157 01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:45,735 Yes. And that's why the character should work. 1158 01:06:45,835 --> 01:06:48,780 Because I'm writing from real life. I'm writing what I know. 1159 01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:50,365 Isn't that what you're supposed to do? 1160 01:06:50,465 --> 01:06:51,950 Not at all, no, no. That's absurd. 1161 01:06:52,050 --> 01:06:55,700 I mean, for a start, what if you're like me, what if you don't know anything? 1162 01:06:56,429 --> 01:06:58,873 But, you're writing your Matt Damon movie about being a teacher now 1163 01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:01,459 and you wrote about your son and that worked out. 1164 01:07:01,559 --> 01:07:04,708 Yeah, that's debatable seeing as we haven't actually spoken in over a year. 1165 01:07:05,355 --> 01:07:07,173 But Jack, or should I say Jerry... 1166 01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:09,171 You haven't spoken to your son in a year? 1167 01:07:09,609 --> 01:07:13,555 Well it's not a big deal, it's just that after his mother remarried, 1168 01:07:13,655 --> 01:07:16,133 we sort of saw less and less of each other, so... 1169 01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:20,061 Cos when you spoke about him in class, your whole face lit up. 1170 01:07:20,453 --> 01:07:22,188 Yeah, well, I was very fond of him. 1171 01:07:22,288 --> 01:07:23,935 And now you're not? 1172 01:07:28,253 --> 01:07:32,365 There is no adulation like Hollywood adulation, you know? 1173 01:07:32,465 --> 01:07:36,619 People that you have only seen in magazines tell you that they love you 1174 01:07:36,719 --> 01:07:39,914 and they want to be your friend. And it's magical. 1175 01:07:40,014 --> 01:07:43,251 Until your next film is not as good and the one after that even less so. 1176 01:07:43,351 --> 01:07:47,088 And suddenly, your confidence is shattered 1177 01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:51,418 and your wife leaves you for the man who directed your one hit. 1178 01:07:52,694 --> 01:07:54,842 The guy who directed Paradise Misplaced? 1179 01:07:55,321 --> 01:07:56,973 - Niles Kelling. - Oh, God. 1180 01:07:57,073 --> 01:07:58,600 He's big. Hit after hit. 1181 01:07:58,700 --> 01:07:59,726 Yeah, thank you very much. 1182 01:07:59,826 --> 01:08:02,645 And, as I was drinking a bit too much 1183 01:08:02,745 --> 01:08:05,398 and dating actresses young enough to believe 1184 01:08:05,498 --> 01:08:07,859 that a writer could get them a job, 1185 01:08:07,959 --> 01:08:10,778 I sort of stopped calling Alex. 1186 01:08:12,171 --> 01:08:15,946 Because you think he feels about you the way you feel about you? 1187 01:08:16,926 --> 01:08:19,204 Yup, yup, yup. And really, why wouldn't he? 1188 01:08:19,304 --> 01:08:22,540 You know, cos he's with his mother and stepfather 1189 01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:24,542 flying to Hawaii on a private jet 1190 01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:28,542 while Dad is being rejected for a rewrite of Piranha 3D. 1191 01:08:29,689 --> 01:08:31,757 And is not being a great dad anyway. 1192 01:08:33,026 --> 01:08:36,096 "As long as you're alive, you can forgive and be forgiven. 1193 01:08:36,362 --> 01:08:38,931 "Once you're dead, it gets significantly harder." 1194 01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:43,603 That's from Paradise Misplaced. My favourite movie. 1195 01:08:43,703 --> 01:08:46,064 One of them anyway. Top five. 1196 01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:47,356 Definitely top 10. 1197 01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:50,317 I'm very worried about your taste. 1198 01:08:50,668 --> 01:08:51,815 Top 20. 1199 01:08:53,129 --> 01:08:54,276 Call your son. 1200 01:08:55,381 --> 01:08:56,653 Really? 1201 01:08:57,216 --> 01:08:58,488 Really. 1202 01:09:03,598 --> 01:09:05,959 Is it so bad, where you're from? 1203 01:09:06,059 --> 01:09:07,456 I thought so, Pop. 1204 01:09:08,061 --> 01:09:10,209 I've been living at a dead run and I was tired. 1205 01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:12,962 And one day I knew I had to come back here. 1206 01:09:13,441 --> 01:09:15,760 Had to come back and get on the merry-go-round 1207 01:09:15,860 --> 01:09:19,180 and eat cotton candy and listen to a band concert. 1208 01:09:19,656 --> 01:09:22,134 Had to stop and breathe. 1209 01:09:23,534 --> 01:09:26,104 Maybe when you go back, Martin, 1210 01:09:26,204 --> 01:09:29,729 you'll find that there are merry-go-rounds and band concerts where you are. 1211 01:09:30,124 --> 01:09:32,022 Maybe you haven't been looking in the right place. 1212 01:09:33,211 --> 01:09:34,688 You've been looking behind you, Martin. 1213 01:09:35,421 --> 01:09:37,194 Try looking ahead. 1214 01:09:58,778 --> 01:10:01,889 Hey, this is Alex. Leave a message and I'll call you back. 1215 01:10:01,989 --> 01:10:03,941 Hello, there. 1216 01:10:05,243 --> 01:10:08,938 I'm not sure if you recognise this voice any more, but... 1217 01:10:10,081 --> 01:10:12,525 It's me... 1218 01:10:13,334 --> 01:10:16,821 Your father. Wanting to say hi. 1219 01:10:16,921 --> 01:10:20,195 Wanting to check up on you, make sure you're OK. 1220 01:10:21,008 --> 01:10:22,655 Wanting to say... 1221 01:10:24,387 --> 01:10:27,874 I love you and I miss you... 1222 01:10:27,974 --> 01:10:31,836 And, it would be great 1223 01:10:31,936 --> 01:10:34,881 if you had the inclination to call me. 1224 01:10:34,981 --> 01:10:37,004 I'm on the same number. 1225 01:10:39,736 --> 01:10:42,305 That's probably it. 1226 01:10:42,405 --> 01:10:45,141 OK. OK. It's your dad. 1227 01:10:56,836 --> 01:10:58,738 - Hey, Keith. - Hey. 1228 01:11:02,842 --> 01:11:04,410 Keith, here's why I texted you. 1229 01:11:04,510 --> 01:11:07,664 Professor Weldon claims that based on what she witnessed, 1230 01:11:07,764 --> 01:11:12,752 you have been carrying on "an inappropriate relationship with a female student." 1231 01:11:15,188 --> 01:11:19,175 Now, if you just go away quietly, it'll be fine. 1232 01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:22,553 Otherwise, she'll take it to the Ethics Committee and there will be a hearing. 1233 01:11:22,653 --> 01:11:24,721 And would that be a public hearing? 1234 01:11:25,114 --> 01:11:27,934 - Behind closed doors. - Well, thank God for that. 1235 01:11:28,034 --> 01:11:30,262 But they usually wind up on the Internet. 1236 01:11:30,578 --> 01:11:32,055 What is wrong with that woman? 1237 01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:36,200 Weldon? She's elitist, lonely, miserable... 1238 01:11:36,509 --> 01:11:38,102 And in this case, right. 1239 01:11:40,338 --> 01:11:43,449 My oldest daughter is going off to college this fall. 1240 01:11:43,549 --> 01:11:48,155 And if this happened to her, I'd come after you. And I'd be armed. 1241 01:11:48,387 --> 01:11:50,790 I was sort of hoping you were pro-gun control. 1242 01:11:50,890 --> 01:11:54,494 Well, I was a Marine, so I could kill you with my bare hands. 1243 01:11:55,269 --> 01:11:59,298 A sharp blow to the Adam's apple. Knuckle heart punch. Malaysian choke hold. 1244 01:11:59,398 --> 01:12:01,759 I wouldn't, you know, because I like you. 1245 01:12:01,859 --> 01:12:03,803 - Thank you. - Yeah. 1246 01:12:04,987 --> 01:12:07,089 But, Keith, you made a mistake here. 1247 01:12:07,323 --> 01:12:08,675 Yeah. 1248 01:12:12,787 --> 01:12:15,732 Hey, there. Any news on the outline? It has been a few days. 1249 01:12:15,832 --> 01:12:16,899 Listen, Keith. 1250 01:12:16,999 --> 01:12:20,862 The studio is planning to do Paradise Misplaced Two. 1251 01:12:20,962 --> 01:12:23,861 But, they want those guys Furman and Lesser to write it. 1252 01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,328 Why, what... 1253 01:12:29,428 --> 01:12:31,247 Wait, wait, wait. Maybe, 1254 01:12:31,347 --> 01:12:35,001 maybe they just want to hire these guys because they think I'm not interested? 1255 01:12:35,101 --> 01:12:36,794 No, no, no. I told them that you were interested. 1256 01:12:36,894 --> 01:12:40,465 But they said they're looking for a fresh perspective. A new voice... 1257 01:12:40,565 --> 01:12:43,176 You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1258 01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:46,471 But look, you do have a roof over your head and you have some money coming in... 1259 01:12:46,571 --> 01:12:48,347 And you must be teaching those kids something 1260 01:12:48,447 --> 01:12:52,723 because I love that script you sent me from that boy in your class. 1261 01:12:53,536 --> 01:12:57,440 That's good. You should call him. You should call him and tell him. 1262 01:12:57,540 --> 01:12:59,275 You sure that's OK? 1263 01:12:59,375 --> 01:13:02,945 Yeah. I'm glad someone's career is alive. 1264 01:13:03,045 --> 01:13:07,325 Your career is alive. It's just, you know, dormant right now. 1265 01:13:07,425 --> 01:13:09,202 Just hang in. All right? 1266 01:13:09,302 --> 01:13:11,245 Yeah. OK. Yeah. 1267 01:13:11,512 --> 01:13:13,080 Bye. 1268 01:13:41,459 --> 01:13:42,568 Walt Disney? 1269 01:13:42,668 --> 01:13:44,403 I actually think he is a genius. 1270 01:13:44,503 --> 01:13:47,740 - I agree. - I love The Little Mermaid. 1271 01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:52,370 The music, the songs, the bubbles? And Prince Eric was totally hot. 1272 01:13:52,470 --> 01:13:53,496 Please. Stop. 1273 01:13:53,596 --> 01:13:55,581 Why do there have to be all these distinctions? 1274 01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:58,793 Why can't you like 101 Dalmatians and Reservoir Dogs? 1275 01:13:58,893 --> 01:14:01,792 Exactly. Fantastic point, Rosa. 1276 01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:08,427 Mr Michaels, do you think you can mention Disney in the same breath 1277 01:14:08,527 --> 01:14:11,639 as Tarantino, Kurosawa or Bergman? 1278 01:14:11,739 --> 01:14:14,433 Well, you just did, Sara. So, yes. 1279 01:14:14,533 --> 01:14:17,186 - And what's the difference? - Sorry? 1280 01:14:17,286 --> 01:14:21,275 Well, Disney, Kurosawa, they're dead. 1281 01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:26,400 I mean, great art didn't save them, did it? They're gone. They're forgotten. 1282 01:14:27,546 --> 01:14:29,990 Does anyone still watch Bambi? 1283 01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:33,786 Kurosawa. I think most people would say that's sushi. 1284 01:14:33,886 --> 01:14:37,411 Bergman. I will give you $100 if anyone here can name three of his movies. 1285 01:14:37,556 --> 01:14:40,251 - Wild Strawberries. - The Seventh Seal, Persona. 1286 01:14:40,351 --> 01:14:42,253 Yeah, well. Apart from you two. 1287 01:14:42,353 --> 01:14:45,631 You know, it all fades. It all turns to dust. 1288 01:14:45,731 --> 01:14:49,218 It's very hard to know why any of you would want to do this in the first place, 1289 01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:52,889 because you will be rewritten, discarded, fired, forgotten. 1290 01:14:52,989 --> 01:14:54,849 That's if you're lucky enough to work in the first place. 1291 01:14:54,949 --> 01:15:00,980 So don't be under any illusion that this will bring you immortality. Or happiness. 1292 01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,683 Perhaps it's better not to even try. 1293 01:15:06,961 --> 01:15:12,233 Try not. Do or do not. There is no "try". 1294 01:15:13,926 --> 01:15:16,662 Thank you, Billy. Thank you. 1295 01:15:16,762 --> 01:15:20,332 Excellent shirt, by the way. I think that may be my favourite so far. 1296 01:15:25,980 --> 01:15:29,550 So one Scotch, and one... 1297 01:15:33,404 --> 01:15:34,801 Hi. 1298 01:15:36,198 --> 01:15:38,851 - Hey. - Hey. You here for dinner? 1299 01:15:38,951 --> 01:15:42,396 - No. No, I had a Spiedie earlier. - Sorry to hear that. 1300 01:15:43,956 --> 01:15:46,484 No. I just wanted to tell you something 1301 01:15:46,584 --> 01:15:49,570 and I didn't want you to hear it in front of the whole class. 1302 01:15:49,670 --> 01:15:51,155 Weldon knows about Karen. 1303 01:15:51,255 --> 01:15:54,985 She's gonna put me in front of the Ethics Committee, unless I leave. 1304 01:15:55,926 --> 01:15:58,329 Whoa. 1305 01:15:58,429 --> 01:16:00,539 - What are you going to do? - I don't think I have a choice. 1306 01:16:00,639 --> 01:16:04,085 There'd be a hearing, it would inevitably go public and everyone in LA would know. 1307 01:16:04,185 --> 01:16:07,380 - Not that they care, but then... - And then your son would find out. 1308 01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:08,714 Exactly. Yeah. 1309 01:16:08,814 --> 01:16:10,800 Well, do you want to stay? 1310 01:16:10,900 --> 01:16:13,128 - The issue is whether I can stay. - Yes. 1311 01:16:13,277 --> 01:16:15,471 - First, you gotta go to Weldon. - And say what? 1312 01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:19,058 I've already bought her every Jane Austen gift short of a "Hello, Mr Darcy" thong. 1313 01:16:19,158 --> 01:16:22,561 You tell her that you did an incredibly stupid thing. Which it was. 1314 01:16:22,661 --> 01:16:24,772 Yes, yes. I think we've already covered that ground very well. 1315 01:16:24,872 --> 01:16:27,900 And then you tell her that you didn't know that it was against school rules 1316 01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:31,821 and that she was over 21, according to her fake ID. 1317 01:16:31,921 --> 01:16:34,991 - Yes, fair point. Yes. - And then you tell her how sorry you are. 1318 01:16:35,091 --> 01:16:38,369 Do you think that's really going to work with a woman who practically wears a bonnet? 1319 01:16:38,469 --> 01:16:40,287 I think it's worth a shot. 1320 01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:48,087 Here you are. I'll be right back for your dinner order. 1321 01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:54,635 I think I should just go quietly. 1322 01:16:56,695 --> 01:16:59,473 OK. Whatever you want. 1323 01:16:59,573 --> 01:17:02,268 I guess that it will give you more time to work on your Matt Damon movie. 1324 01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:06,689 Oh, Lord, no. Look, there is no Matt Damon movie. 1325 01:17:06,789 --> 01:17:10,735 - What? So, all that was just... - It was a lie. It was a lie. 1326 01:17:10,835 --> 01:17:12,862 Yeah. I'm sorry. There's no movie at all. 1327 01:17:12,962 --> 01:17:17,450 As a matter of fact, the only reason I'm here is because I can't get a job. 1328 01:17:17,550 --> 01:17:19,535 But you do have a job. 1329 01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:22,121 You mean teaching? Well, yeah. Number one, I'm no good at it, 1330 01:17:22,221 --> 01:17:25,249 and number two, I don't have it any more, so... 1331 01:17:25,349 --> 01:17:27,960 But you don't know that until you go to Weldon. 1332 01:17:28,060 --> 01:17:30,880 Holly, I wish I shared your faith that if you just push yourself hard enough, 1333 01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:32,548 everything will work out. 1334 01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:37,720 It's very American, like country music, or, I don't know, obesity. But it's not true. 1335 01:17:37,820 --> 01:17:40,264 You know, it won't make anyone talented, 1336 01:17:40,364 --> 01:17:42,558 it won't get me a job, and it won't make my son call me. 1337 01:17:42,658 --> 01:17:46,353 I don't understand. Why are you reducing me to some kind of optimism machine? 1338 01:17:46,453 --> 01:17:49,398 You think I wake up in a motivational video? This is what I believe. 1339 01:17:49,498 --> 01:17:51,525 I believe what I believe. This is what I'm teaching my girls. 1340 01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:53,569 Oh, really, and how are you teaching them that? 1341 01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:56,363 By contemplating marrying someone because he's steady and secure? 1342 01:17:56,463 --> 01:17:58,824 I don't understand. So now, you're giving me parenting advice? 1343 01:17:58,924 --> 01:18:01,368 - If you like to dish it out... - I thought you wanted to talk this through. 1344 01:18:01,468 --> 01:18:03,496 I don't understand. What is going on with you? 1345 01:18:03,596 --> 01:18:05,869 - Miss? We're ready to order now. - I'm just saying... 1346 01:18:08,267 --> 01:18:09,914 Be right there. 1347 01:18:12,229 --> 01:18:13,581 Watch it! 1348 01:18:17,735 --> 01:18:21,305 Well, listen. You've got to get me something. Anything. A rewrite... 1349 01:18:21,405 --> 01:18:25,851 I'll work on reality TV as a writer or a contestant. 1350 01:18:25,951 --> 01:18:29,363 Keith, I'm really sorry. It's hard times out here. 1351 01:18:29,463 --> 01:18:30,523 It's not just you, either. It's... 1352 01:18:30,623 --> 01:18:34,478 Wait a minute. There's some kind of riot going on. I'll call you back. 1353 01:18:34,752 --> 01:18:36,487 Dude, not cool, man. 1354 01:18:36,587 --> 01:18:37,696 Is the party over? 1355 01:18:37,796 --> 01:18:41,617 - Mr Michaels. - Sara, what's all the ruckus? 1356 01:18:41,717 --> 01:18:46,038 I don't know. I was coming to the party and I saw cops and paramedics... 1357 01:18:46,138 --> 01:18:48,207 I wasn't going to drink. 1358 01:18:48,307 --> 01:18:50,668 Oh, It's fine, Sara. If anyone needs one, it's you. 1359 01:18:50,768 --> 01:18:52,378 - All right, people! Clear the way! - Oh, my God! 1360 01:18:52,478 --> 01:18:54,130 - Is he gonna be OK? - It's Billy. 1361 01:18:54,230 --> 01:18:56,549 Excuse me. What's going on? 1362 01:18:56,649 --> 01:19:00,094 Some hazing thing, made him drink a half a bottle of vodka. 1363 01:19:00,194 --> 01:19:03,218 - He'll probably be OK. - He should join a sorority. 1364 01:19:17,586 --> 01:19:20,940 All right, there are easier ways to get out of finishing your third act, you know. 1365 01:19:21,340 --> 01:19:22,942 Mr Michaels. 1366 01:19:23,175 --> 01:19:24,493 Hey. 1367 01:19:24,593 --> 01:19:30,082 Those guys just kept saying "One more, Obi-Wan, one more." 1368 01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:33,627 They didn't want me in the frat. I'm such an idiot. 1369 01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:37,923 No, you are not an idiot, Billy. You're, you know, you're weird. 1370 01:19:38,023 --> 01:19:40,501 But half the successful people in Hollywood are weird. 1371 01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:45,764 Talking of which, I was thinking about your screenplay, and I think 1372 01:19:45,864 --> 01:19:50,060 if you love Star Wars, write Star Wars. 1373 01:19:50,160 --> 01:19:54,436 But just give it a little twist, you know? For example, bad version... 1374 01:19:54,832 --> 01:19:59,737 College guy who's obsessed with Star Wars meets a similarly-obsessed Star Wars girl. 1375 01:19:59,837 --> 01:20:02,364 Did you ever see a film called Marty? 1376 01:20:02,464 --> 01:20:04,825 OK, I think you could write a story like that. 1377 01:20:04,925 --> 01:20:06,952 - In fact, I think that could be... - Billy, honey? 1378 01:20:07,052 --> 01:20:08,621 Mom, Dad. 1379 01:20:08,721 --> 01:20:11,574 Hi. I'm Keith Michaels. I'm a teacher. I teach Billy. 1380 01:20:11,932 --> 01:20:15,127 - And I'll give you your privacy. Yeah? - Thank you. 1381 01:20:17,396 --> 01:20:19,506 - Billy... - Are you OK? 1382 01:20:19,606 --> 01:20:22,301 - Yeah, I'm fine, Mom. - I'm so happy you're OK. 1383 01:20:22,401 --> 01:20:25,054 You really had your mother worried, I'll tell you that much. 1384 01:20:25,154 --> 01:20:26,847 Sorry about that. 1385 01:21:06,612 --> 01:21:08,714 Afternoon. Hello. 1386 01:21:11,325 --> 01:21:12,351 So... 1387 01:21:12,451 --> 01:21:14,224 Sara told us what you did for Billy. 1388 01:21:14,745 --> 01:21:16,105 Oh, I didn't do anything. 1389 01:21:16,205 --> 01:21:17,940 The guys at that frat are such jerks. 1390 01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:21,314 We're all gonna go visit Billy this afternoon, if you'd like to come. 1391 01:21:22,252 --> 01:21:27,404 I would, Rosa. But... I actually have to leave town today. 1392 01:21:28,092 --> 01:21:30,286 As it turns out, unfortunately... 1393 01:21:30,386 --> 01:21:33,490 I am not gonna be able to finish the rest of this semester. 1394 01:21:35,224 --> 01:21:36,500 But... 1395 01:21:36,600 --> 01:21:40,129 I've spoken to Dr Lerner, and Clara Foss, the renowned poet, will be taking over. 1396 01:21:40,229 --> 01:21:41,672 So you'll be in good hands. 1397 01:21:41,814 --> 01:21:43,632 Well, what about our screenplays? 1398 01:21:44,149 --> 01:21:47,628 I am sorry, not to be able to finish your third acts with you. 1399 01:21:47,986 --> 01:21:51,590 And I owe you an apology for our last meeting. You know... 1400 01:21:52,157 --> 01:21:56,808 What I was saying about writing being meaningless... 1401 01:22:01,125 --> 01:22:04,278 In a movie that I wrote many years ago... 1402 01:22:04,378 --> 01:22:08,782 An 11-year-old girl finds herself an angel in Heaven, and she's... 1403 01:22:08,882 --> 01:22:12,536 Understandably bereaved, missing her family and her friends 1404 01:22:12,636 --> 01:22:14,621 and all the life she'll never have. 1405 01:22:14,721 --> 01:22:19,209 But an older angel tells her that 11 is actually a wonderful age to be in Heaven. 1406 01:22:19,309 --> 01:22:24,465 Because at 11, everything you love and hate really stays true 1407 01:22:24,565 --> 01:22:30,513 while mortal life is a long, losing struggle not to compromise those feelings. 1408 01:22:31,238 --> 01:22:37,269 I think that's a bit the case with writing. It's our 11-year-old selves saying, 1409 01:22:37,369 --> 01:22:40,272 "Yes, that's funny", or "no, that's stupid". 1410 01:22:40,372 --> 01:22:43,692 You know, Sara may come at it from one direction, Andrea, from another. 1411 01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:46,362 But it's real. 1412 01:22:46,462 --> 01:22:48,405 And true. 1413 01:22:50,883 --> 01:22:53,786 Anyway, I wanted to say thank you all. 1414 01:22:53,886 --> 01:22:57,456 It's been an honour and a privilege. 1415 01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:24,650 I can't wait to see the Matt Damon movie. 1416 01:23:24,750 --> 01:23:27,524 Thanks. Yeah. Thank you, Flo. 1417 01:23:29,254 --> 01:23:30,864 I really enjoyed your class. 1418 01:23:30,964 --> 01:23:33,032 Thank you, Rosa. Thanks. 1419 01:23:34,092 --> 01:23:35,910 I've really enjoyed the class. 1420 01:23:37,179 --> 01:23:39,998 - She enjoyed the class. - That was nice. Thank you, Rachel. 1421 01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:42,166 And thank you, Maya, for translating. 1422 01:23:42,684 --> 01:23:44,912 You helped me find my voice. 1423 01:23:47,064 --> 01:23:48,541 I'll never forgive you. 1424 01:23:50,442 --> 01:23:53,170 Here's your rewrite. Read it in hell. 1425 01:23:55,405 --> 01:23:59,351 Mr Michaels... I don't know how to thank you. 1426 01:23:59,785 --> 01:24:02,020 Thank you, Clem. 1427 01:24:02,120 --> 01:24:04,048 You've made me quite jealous. 1428 01:24:05,958 --> 01:24:08,060 Brilliant. Brilliant. 1429 01:24:10,796 --> 01:24:11,988 So... 1430 01:24:13,799 --> 01:24:15,534 - Now, listen... - Good luck. 1431 01:24:15,634 --> 01:24:17,077 Write. 1432 01:24:17,344 --> 01:24:19,079 No, I definitely will. Or email. 1433 01:24:19,179 --> 01:24:21,873 I meant a script. I need something to watch with my girls. 1434 01:24:22,057 --> 01:24:23,329 Right. 1435 01:24:23,725 --> 01:24:26,044 I loved the class. 1436 01:24:26,144 --> 01:24:28,997 And you can teach, because I got better. 1437 01:24:29,648 --> 01:24:32,593 Yeah. Look, just... Sorry. Hold on, one... 1438 01:24:32,693 --> 01:24:34,340 I have a class. 1439 01:24:43,453 --> 01:24:45,898 I meant to tell you never to call again unless it was good news. 1440 01:24:45,998 --> 01:24:49,401 Wish granted. Paragon wants to buy Clem's script. 1441 01:24:49,501 --> 01:24:51,695 I spoke to Jenny Glick and Greg Nathan this morning. 1442 01:24:51,878 --> 01:24:54,948 The same people who love me and are huge, huge fans 1443 01:24:55,048 --> 01:24:57,075 and rejected me from the sequel to my own movie? 1444 01:24:57,175 --> 01:25:00,454 I know. But they love this. And I told them if they want it, you're producing. 1445 01:25:00,554 --> 01:25:01,872 And they said? 1446 01:25:01,972 --> 01:25:03,457 Well, they want David Shore to executive produce, 1447 01:25:03,557 --> 01:25:04,583 but they're going to give you a credit 1448 01:25:04,683 --> 01:25:06,793 and enough money to get you back home. Greg is... 1449 01:25:07,414 --> 01:25:10,923 I'm sorry. Greg and Jenny are going to be at a premiere in Manhattan tonight, 1450 01:25:11,023 --> 01:25:13,091 and they want to meet Clem. And you. 1451 01:25:13,525 --> 01:25:14,968 Get back to LA as soon as you can 1452 01:25:15,068 --> 01:25:16,762 so that we can ride this credit, 1453 01:25:16,862 --> 01:25:18,885 set up some meetings. Right? I'll... 1454 01:25:20,282 --> 01:25:22,134 - Congratulations. - Yeah. 1455 01:25:23,535 --> 01:25:25,253 Fantastic. 1456 01:25:45,849 --> 01:25:46,917 I hope you have a good trip. 1457 01:25:47,017 --> 01:25:49,044 Thanks. And thanks again for everything. 1458 01:25:49,144 --> 01:25:52,005 Well, hold on. You're not getting away that easy. 1459 01:25:52,105 --> 01:25:53,590 Get over here. 1460 01:25:54,775 --> 01:25:56,172 Oh, God. 1461 01:26:46,451 --> 01:26:48,519 So, Clem, tell us how this happened. 1462 01:26:49,037 --> 01:26:52,816 There was a screenwriting seminar, so I submitted some pages. 1463 01:26:52,916 --> 01:26:54,568 You had already written the whole thing? 1464 01:26:54,668 --> 01:26:57,237 Well, I had a draft and Mr Michaels asked to see it. 1465 01:26:57,337 --> 01:26:59,364 He brought the script to a whole other level. 1466 01:26:59,464 --> 01:27:03,702 - I'm sure. We love Keith. - Huge, huge, fans. 1467 01:27:03,802 --> 01:27:06,121 So tell us a little bit about how this idea came into being. 1468 01:27:06,221 --> 01:27:08,373 I don't know where the ideas come from, usually. 1469 01:27:08,473 --> 01:27:11,209 And, I wanted to write something fresh, something different that... 1470 01:27:11,309 --> 01:27:13,128 - It is fresh. It is different. - It's just a fresh voice. 1471 01:27:13,228 --> 01:27:14,796 It's a fresh voice. And if we can get a Fanning sister... 1472 01:27:14,896 --> 01:27:16,798 - Do they have a young sister? - Excuse me. Can I get the butter? 1473 01:27:16,898 --> 01:27:18,800 It started a few years ago now, already, I think. 1474 01:27:18,900 --> 01:27:19,968 - Nice. - Almost three years ago. Yeah. 1475 01:27:20,068 --> 01:27:22,304 So I was watching the History Channel and there's a special 1476 01:27:22,404 --> 01:27:25,682 on the history of the world, or modern civilisation... 1477 01:27:25,782 --> 01:27:29,478 And I was watching it and I just found it so interesting 1478 01:27:29,578 --> 01:27:32,606 how, you know, the natural progression of things, and how everything just seemed 1479 01:27:32,706 --> 01:27:34,366 to link perfectly together. 1480 01:27:34,466 --> 01:27:36,276 Because we like this story, we like the protagonist. 1481 01:27:36,376 --> 01:27:37,361 A female protagonist? 1482 01:27:37,461 --> 01:27:39,237 It's exactly what we've both been looking... 1483 01:27:39,337 --> 01:27:41,365 - It's exactly what we need. - It's what the world needs. 1484 01:27:41,465 --> 01:27:43,867 Edgy comedies with a kick-ass-type woman. 1485 01:27:43,967 --> 01:27:46,036 - Huge, huge fans. - We love Keith. 1486 01:27:46,136 --> 01:27:48,163 Or into time, sure. Other time periods. 1487 01:27:48,263 --> 01:27:49,748 - Huge, huge fans. - Technology. 1488 01:27:49,848 --> 01:27:50,874 It's really incredible... 1489 01:27:50,974 --> 01:27:52,417 Sorry, guys, excuse me. 1490 01:27:52,517 --> 01:27:54,995 Can I have a quick moment with Clem? 1491 01:27:55,562 --> 01:27:59,792 - Little story conference? - Kind of, yeah. Come on. Come here. 1492 01:28:00,066 --> 01:28:01,588 - Excuse me. - Sure. 1493 01:28:07,532 --> 01:28:09,184 You're doing brilliantly. 1494 01:28:09,284 --> 01:28:12,938 So brilliantly that I am going to leave you to finish the meeting on your own. 1495 01:28:13,038 --> 01:28:16,024 What? No, my Imodium hasn't even completely kicked in. 1496 01:28:16,124 --> 01:28:18,902 Listen to me. You've probably missed the last plane. 1497 01:28:19,002 --> 01:28:20,404 So I'm gonna give you money for the bus. 1498 01:28:20,504 --> 01:28:22,280 No, no, I'm staying with my parents in the city. 1499 01:28:22,380 --> 01:28:23,490 - OK, that's fine... - Mr Michaels, 1500 01:28:23,590 --> 01:28:24,783 I can't go back in there without you. 1501 01:28:24,883 --> 01:28:27,786 Clem, listen to me. Do not grow a tumour. 1502 01:28:27,886 --> 01:28:32,332 They are going to make your movie, and you'll be feted and rich, 1503 01:28:32,432 --> 01:28:34,660 and surrounded by women. Can you handle that? 1504 01:28:35,143 --> 01:28:37,379 I don't want to be feted. And the money would be fine. 1505 01:28:37,479 --> 01:28:40,879 - But the only woman I really want is Rosa. - Rosa from our class? 1506 01:28:41,858 --> 01:28:43,927 Really? Good choice. She's gorgeous. 1507 01:28:44,027 --> 01:28:46,179 Not of course that I notice women of that age. 1508 01:28:46,279 --> 01:28:49,015 - Mr Michaels, I don't feel comfortable. - OK, listen to me. 1509 01:28:49,115 --> 01:28:50,809 A thousand years ago 1510 01:28:50,909 --> 01:28:56,357 I was in your position. And you know, just enjoy it. It's glorious fun. 1511 01:28:57,791 --> 01:29:00,690 And remember, they need you more than you need them. 1512 01:29:01,837 --> 01:29:04,656 This is your ride. It's not mine, OK? 1513 01:29:10,595 --> 01:29:12,497 - Hey, he's back. - Hey. Thanks. 1514 01:29:12,597 --> 01:29:14,249 - Sans glasses. - Yeah. 1515 01:29:14,349 --> 01:29:16,293 You look mighty handsome. 1516 01:29:16,393 --> 01:29:17,540 Thank you. 1517 01:29:17,811 --> 01:29:21,339 So this is what we're thinking about, we're discussing this... 1518 01:29:21,439 --> 01:29:24,009 We don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but, franchise. 1519 01:29:24,109 --> 01:29:27,588 Yeah. We're really excited about it. There's actually so much that we can do... 1520 01:30:31,843 --> 01:30:33,286 - Hi. - Keith. 1521 01:30:33,386 --> 01:30:35,038 I'm so sorry to bother you this late. I just... 1522 01:30:35,138 --> 01:30:37,666 - I did try to call, but there was no answer. - That's OK. 1523 01:30:37,766 --> 01:30:41,962 Just sitting around with the family, watching Eat Pray Love. 1524 01:30:43,605 --> 01:30:45,423 I'll be right back. Go on without me. 1525 01:30:45,523 --> 01:30:46,591 You sure, honey? 1526 01:30:46,691 --> 01:30:48,464 Yeah. You can tell me what I missed. 1527 01:30:50,919 --> 01:30:52,264 OK. 1528 01:30:52,364 --> 01:30:55,434 Listen, I did not expect to see you again. 1529 01:30:55,700 --> 01:31:00,522 No, well, I have decided to take my chances at the hearing, if it's not too late. 1530 01:31:00,914 --> 01:31:02,566 Really? 1531 01:31:02,666 --> 01:31:04,143 May I ask why? 1532 01:31:04,542 --> 01:31:06,611 Yes. I'm not quite sure. 1533 01:31:06,711 --> 01:31:08,780 Well, I'm glad you've thought it through. 1534 01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:12,117 And I was wondering if you could get me a meeting with Professor Weldon, 1535 01:31:12,217 --> 01:31:14,286 cos I'd rather not just show up at her door. 1536 01:31:14,386 --> 01:31:16,238 - No, I think that would be dangerous. - Yeah. 1537 01:31:17,514 --> 01:31:19,374 Sure. I can arrange that. 1538 01:31:19,474 --> 01:31:21,459 Thank you. Thank you. 1539 01:31:21,559 --> 01:31:23,795 And I wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened 1540 01:31:23,895 --> 01:31:25,964 and for putting you in an awkward position. 1541 01:31:26,064 --> 01:31:29,092 Honey, you've got to see this. 1542 01:31:29,192 --> 01:31:32,679 OK, just keep talking and do not make me go back in there. 1543 01:31:32,779 --> 01:31:35,181 Well, they obviously want to share the experience with you, you know. 1544 01:31:35,281 --> 01:31:37,309 It must be wonderful to have a family like that. 1545 01:31:37,409 --> 01:31:39,307 It's a pain. 1546 01:31:40,120 --> 01:31:42,147 Every week, movie night. 1547 01:31:42,247 --> 01:31:43,481 Yeah. 1548 01:31:43,581 --> 01:31:45,609 - Always a chick flick. - Yeah. 1549 01:31:45,709 --> 01:31:48,778 And my daughters usually bake these sugar cookies. 1550 01:31:48,878 --> 01:31:49,946 Oh, yeah. 1551 01:31:50,046 --> 01:31:51,698 - Which they will not let me have... - Yeah. 1552 01:31:51,798 --> 01:31:53,742 Because... 1553 01:31:53,842 --> 01:31:56,828 They're concerned about my, cholesterol. 1554 01:31:59,264 --> 01:32:02,918 So they give me, 1555 01:32:03,018 --> 01:32:04,669 non-fat popcorn. 1556 01:32:04,769 --> 01:32:06,755 That's great. 1557 01:32:59,365 --> 01:33:04,141 I was not formally aware that these relationships were prohibited. 1558 01:33:04,662 --> 01:33:07,440 I did almost immediately break it off 1559 01:33:07,540 --> 01:33:11,190 and I deeply regret the entire incident. 1560 01:33:20,678 --> 01:33:22,496 You arrived on campus, 1561 01:33:23,473 --> 01:33:25,246 became inebriated, 1562 01:33:26,017 --> 01:33:29,496 insulted members of the faculty. 1563 01:33:30,105 --> 01:33:35,427 You dismissed your class with the intention of not having them return for a month. 1564 01:33:35,527 --> 01:33:39,556 And that class bears a suspicious resemblance to a beauty pageant. 1565 01:33:39,656 --> 01:33:40,765 Not the men. 1566 01:33:40,865 --> 01:33:44,644 Which leads me to wonder if they weren't assembled for your own viewing pleasure 1567 01:33:44,744 --> 01:33:48,314 evidenced by the fact that you carried on an inappropriate relationship with one of them. 1568 01:33:48,414 --> 01:33:51,943 And even if you were not aware of our policy on that matter, 1569 01:33:52,043 --> 01:33:56,489 it strains credulity that you didn't have the good sense to know that it was wrong. 1570 01:33:56,589 --> 01:34:01,695 So unless my information is faulty, this Ethics Hearing is a foregone conclusion. 1571 01:34:03,555 --> 01:34:07,125 Professor Weldon, you're entirely correct. 1572 01:34:07,225 --> 01:34:11,129 I behaved unprofessionally and I can present no good reason 1573 01:34:11,229 --> 01:34:13,548 why you should extend me the privilege of staying here. 1574 01:34:13,731 --> 01:34:17,969 Except to say, that when I was at the Binghamton Airport yesterday... 1575 01:34:18,069 --> 01:34:22,057 I was pulled aside by a charming geriatric TSA officer 1576 01:34:22,157 --> 01:34:24,142 who needed to inspect my award. 1577 01:34:24,242 --> 01:34:29,397 And she started telling me that her security post was the perfect setting for a movie, 1578 01:34:29,497 --> 01:34:34,652 but she couldn't write because, as she put it, "Either you're born with it or you're not". 1579 01:34:34,752 --> 01:34:38,072 You see, a few months ago, I would have agreed with that. 1580 01:34:38,548 --> 01:34:42,494 But suddenly, I found myself explaining the three-act structure 1581 01:34:42,594 --> 01:34:46,956 and the basics of outlining until she had to go and pat down a suspicious man 1582 01:34:47,056 --> 01:34:48,541 who kept readjusting his shorts. 1583 01:34:48,641 --> 01:34:51,928 And I realised I was trying to teach her. 1584 01:34:52,806 --> 01:34:56,257 Me, the person who did nothing but mock teaching 1585 01:34:56,357 --> 01:34:59,836 as an absurd profession practised only by desperate failures. 1586 01:35:00,862 --> 01:35:03,264 I mean, obviously not at the university level. 1587 01:35:03,364 --> 01:35:07,014 But it has, as a new friend told me it might... 1588 01:35:08,453 --> 01:35:10,647 Got its hooks into me. 1589 01:35:10,747 --> 01:35:15,652 So, I ask for your leniency, because I think that, 1590 01:35:15,752 --> 01:35:17,529 you know, with a little effort, 1591 01:35:17,629 --> 01:35:21,575 I could possibly be quite good at this job and actually worthy of your esteem. 1592 01:35:22,467 --> 01:35:26,371 And because these kids have actually reminded me 1593 01:35:26,471 --> 01:35:29,324 why I wanted to write in the first place. 1594 01:35:30,642 --> 01:35:33,628 But, mostly, because I can't bear the thought of anyone else 1595 01:35:33,728 --> 01:35:36,456 getting to help my class with their third acts. 1596 01:35:47,867 --> 01:35:52,522 Mr Michaels, I am not popular. My students don't like me. 1597 01:35:55,083 --> 01:35:59,438 And it is because they assume I am an Elinor. 1598 01:36:01,005 --> 01:36:02,448 An Elinor? 1599 01:36:03,216 --> 01:36:04,450 From Sense and Sensibility. 1600 01:36:04,550 --> 01:36:06,578 Oh, yes, yes. That Elinor. Yes. 1601 01:36:06,678 --> 01:36:10,707 Prudent, cautious, conservative. And I do have that side of me. 1602 01:36:10,807 --> 01:36:12,834 But there's another side as well. 1603 01:36:12,934 --> 01:36:15,253 Well, that's nice. It's always nice when people have so many sides. 1604 01:36:15,353 --> 01:36:16,671 It's like a Rubik's Cube. 1605 01:36:16,771 --> 01:36:18,293 I have a Marianne side. 1606 01:36:19,524 --> 01:36:21,843 - Unpredictable, impetuous... - Yes. 1607 01:36:21,943 --> 01:36:23,678 ...irrational sometimes. 1608 01:36:23,778 --> 01:36:28,892 You have appealed to that side and I will indulge it this one last time, because... 1609 01:36:28,992 --> 01:36:32,141 As Miss Austen said... 1610 01:36:33,913 --> 01:36:38,610 "Selfishness must always be forgiven, you know, because there is no hope for a cure." 1611 01:36:39,002 --> 01:36:41,946 Did she say that? That's quite clever. 1612 01:36:42,046 --> 01:36:44,282 Mansfield Park. 1613 01:36:44,382 --> 01:36:46,868 The key to good teaching, Mr Michaels 1614 01:36:46,968 --> 01:36:50,447 is the willingness to always learn something new. 1615 01:36:51,764 --> 01:36:53,662 I will remember that. 1616 01:36:54,058 --> 01:36:56,286 I want you to see something. 1617 01:36:59,439 --> 01:37:00,540 Open it. 1618 01:37:02,734 --> 01:37:05,261 - Screenplay? - Don't be idiotic. A memoir. 1619 01:37:06,404 --> 01:37:09,807 Based on my experience of a lifetime teaching literature. 1620 01:37:09,907 --> 01:37:12,310 I'd like an unbiased honest appraisal. 1621 01:37:12,410 --> 01:37:14,012 I'd be honoured. 1622 01:37:14,412 --> 01:37:17,065 But if it were to become a movie, Meryl Streep should play me. 1623 01:37:17,165 --> 01:37:19,275 Yes, I will read it with that in mind. 1624 01:37:19,375 --> 01:37:21,277 But don't take it. That's my personal copy. 1625 01:37:21,377 --> 01:37:23,780 - Sorry. - I'll email you. 1626 01:37:23,880 --> 01:37:26,699 Now, I have to prepare for a class... 1627 01:37:26,799 --> 01:37:27,867 Yes, yes, yes. 1628 01:37:27,967 --> 01:37:30,035 So if you don't mind... 1629 01:37:31,512 --> 01:37:32,956 Nice bag. 1630 01:37:33,056 --> 01:37:34,408 - Please leave. - Yes. 1631 01:37:38,186 --> 01:37:39,170 Hello? 1632 01:37:39,270 --> 01:37:40,755 What, you walked out on the meeting? 1633 01:37:40,855 --> 01:37:42,799 I did. How'd it go otherwise? 1634 01:37:42,899 --> 01:37:45,301 Well they loved Clem, and they're making the deal. 1635 01:37:45,401 --> 01:37:48,596 Fantastic. Listen, I will be very happy to work with him on the script, 1636 01:37:48,696 --> 01:37:50,139 but only as his teacher. 1637 01:37:50,239 --> 01:37:52,350 So now you want to stay in Binghamton? 1638 01:37:52,450 --> 01:37:54,352 Well, I've been thinking. 1639 01:37:54,452 --> 01:37:57,480 Maybe I will write a screenplay about a washed-up writer 1640 01:37:57,580 --> 01:38:00,058 who goes to teach at an out-of-the-way university. 1641 01:38:00,208 --> 01:38:03,236 You know what? That is a great idea for Matt Damon. 1642 01:38:03,336 --> 01:38:05,822 I'm going to call his producing partner, and I'm going to call you back. 1643 01:38:05,922 --> 01:38:08,283 Excellent. But not between 12:00 and 1:30. 1644 01:38:08,383 --> 01:38:10,827 I have class and will not be picking up the phone. 1645 01:38:14,097 --> 01:38:15,414 Thanks. 1646 01:38:21,646 --> 01:38:22,918 $16.98. 1647 01:38:26,221 --> 01:38:29,091 Dumb. Buy an umbrella on the first sunny day. 1648 01:38:29,162 --> 01:38:31,009 - It's raining. - It's going to clear up. 1649 01:38:31,197 --> 01:38:32,469 I see. 1650 01:38:33,408 --> 01:38:37,228 So, it appears that I'm going to stay here and teach for a bit. 1651 01:38:38,579 --> 01:38:41,398 And I would also like to buy this book. 1652 01:38:42,333 --> 01:38:45,107 - $24.95. - Yeah, complete rip-off. OK, forget the book. 1653 01:38:46,045 --> 01:38:49,240 - Will there be anything else? - Yes. 1654 01:38:49,340 --> 01:38:52,618 I don't think you're an optimism machine. 1655 01:38:52,718 --> 01:38:56,748 I know how hard you work at being a mum and a student and I'm in awe. 1656 01:38:56,848 --> 01:38:59,125 I'm completely in awe. And... 1657 01:38:59,225 --> 01:39:02,837 Although I was only gone for a few hours, I found myself missing you. 1658 01:39:02,937 --> 01:39:05,715 Now it's quite possible that if I'd stayed away a few more hours 1659 01:39:05,815 --> 01:39:09,135 I'd have just completely got over that, but now we'll never know. 1660 01:39:09,235 --> 01:39:13,806 So the answer is yes, I'm hoping that there will be something else. 1661 01:39:15,408 --> 01:39:16,851 Much more else. 1662 01:39:21,873 --> 01:39:25,773 Right. Well, then, I will see you in class. 1663 01:39:27,670 --> 01:39:30,531 But, in looking over my script, 1664 01:39:30,631 --> 01:39:33,785 I did see what you meant about the random structuring. 1665 01:39:33,885 --> 01:39:38,616 And I'm not so sure where the Jerry character fits in any more. 1666 01:39:39,557 --> 01:39:42,585 Well, that's very encouraging to hear. 1667 01:39:42,685 --> 01:39:44,712 I mean, not for Jerry, obviously. 1668 01:39:44,812 --> 01:39:50,339 And it makes me think that if I just try as hard as I can and really, really believe in myself, 1669 01:39:51,527 --> 01:39:53,054 I can make my dreams come true. 1670 01:39:53,154 --> 01:39:56,099 You know, when you say it, it really does sound ridiculous. 1671 01:39:56,199 --> 01:39:57,333 Maybe it's the accent. 1672 01:39:59,494 --> 01:40:02,473 What? Yes, I'm sorry. Go ahead. 1673 01:40:08,294 --> 01:40:10,154 That can't be right. 1674 01:40:10,254 --> 01:40:11,947 Oh, it's right. 1675 01:40:12,715 --> 01:40:15,238 What'd I tell you? Worth the wait. 1676 01:40:15,551 --> 01:40:18,245 OK, I just want you to know... 1677 01:40:19,096 --> 01:40:22,250 I will respect the fact that you are my student until the end of the semester. 1678 01:40:22,350 --> 01:40:23,952 OK. Thank you. 1679 01:40:25,269 --> 01:40:27,255 When is the end of the semester? 1680 01:40:28,248 --> 01:40:29,732 Oh, you'll know. 1681 01:40:44,622 --> 01:40:49,023 No, no, no. Thank you. Thanks, that's truly... 1682 01:40:49,961 --> 01:40:53,565 Oh, Billy! Yes, welcome back! 1683 01:40:55,841 --> 01:40:57,739 Welcome back, Billy. 1684 01:40:59,303 --> 01:41:04,208 And for those of you who were looking forward to the poetic charms of Clara Foss... 1685 01:41:04,308 --> 01:41:06,251 I apologise. I'm back. 1686 01:41:09,480 --> 01:41:12,425 Back from New York, where if you don't know already. 1687 01:41:12,525 --> 01:41:15,344 Clem has just sold his first script to Hollywood. 1688 01:41:19,949 --> 01:41:22,768 You deserve it. Your writing's brilliant. 1689 01:41:22,868 --> 01:41:25,229 I would also like to say that today we will be taking a look 1690 01:41:25,329 --> 01:41:28,524 at some new and truly exciting pages from Karen Gabney. 1691 01:41:29,917 --> 01:41:34,447 With regard to my premature departure from our last class... 1692 01:41:34,547 --> 01:41:36,900 I'm sorry. The truth is... 1693 01:41:38,676 --> 01:41:40,278 Somewhat complicated. 1694 01:41:41,971 --> 01:41:44,332 Well it's my third act, I suppose, 1695 01:41:44,432 --> 01:41:47,043 and I will let you see it when I have finished my teacher script. 1696 01:41:47,143 --> 01:41:49,587 And I will want your complete and honest opinions. 1697 01:41:49,687 --> 01:41:51,631 Though I will vastly prefer the people who love it. 1698 01:41:53,649 --> 01:41:57,094 Good, let's get back to work. I think we were on... Hey, hang on. 1699 01:41:57,194 --> 01:41:58,596 There will be no more of that. 1700 01:41:58,996 --> 01:42:01,949 You have my full attention from here on in. 1701 01:42:02,992 --> 01:42:04,890 OK, third acts. 1702 01:42:05,536 --> 01:42:08,940 Andrea, tell us what happens during the dessert phase of the Bat Mitzvah. 1703 01:42:09,040 --> 01:42:14,445 OK. So they bring the cake out and they find out that the cake isn't kosher. 1704 01:42:14,545 --> 01:42:17,240 But Alicia's parents start fighting and accusing each other 1705 01:42:17,340 --> 01:42:20,451 of getting the wrong caterer because there are also pigs in a blanket. 1706 01:42:20,551 --> 01:42:23,746 And Alicia starts crying because she realises 1707 01:42:23,846 --> 01:42:26,040 that she doesn't care about the cake. 1708 01:42:26,140 --> 01:42:28,626 She just wants her parents to be happy. 1709 01:42:28,726 --> 01:42:32,129 And she insists on doing her Torah and her Haftarah portions over again 1710 01:42:32,229 --> 01:42:34,377 and it just gets so crazy. 1711 01:42:53,042 --> 01:42:55,194 A-ha! "How dost thou, sweet lord?" 1712 01:42:55,294 --> 01:43:00,741 Keith! You're back! May I introduce Joan from State Farm. 1713 01:43:00,841 --> 01:43:03,661 Yes. Hello Joan. He's quite a catch, isn't he? 1714 01:43:03,761 --> 01:43:07,491 He's low-risk, dependable, limited-liability. 1715 01:43:07,932 --> 01:43:10,585 "Thank Heaven, fasting, for a good man's love." 1716 01:43:10,685 --> 01:43:13,038 As You Like It. Act III, Scene V. 1717 01:43:14,105 --> 01:43:16,003 It just gets me when he does that. 1718 01:43:20,027 --> 01:43:22,513 "Ken's dead. He's dead now. 1719 01:43:22,613 --> 01:43:26,434 "He'll be dead in two hours, and then he'll be dead forever. 1720 01:43:27,076 --> 01:43:29,979 "TOM: Will you marry me? 1721 01:43:30,079 --> 01:43:32,356 "MAURA: You're thick and stupid. 1722 01:43:32,456 --> 01:43:35,693 "You can't see the darkness that surrounds you. 1723 01:43:35,793 --> 01:43:38,904 "TOM: You make me feel alive. 1724 01:43:39,004 --> 01:43:41,232 "MAURA: That won't last." 1725 01:43:43,175 --> 01:43:47,655 "CAROL: Daddy, I think you should know, I'm sleeping with your business partner." 1726 01:43:50,057 --> 01:43:54,629 The other day, she comes and climbs up on my lap 1727 01:43:54,729 --> 01:44:00,051 with a book and she says, "Daddy, will you read me this book in your scary voice?" 1728 01:44:37,146 --> 01:44:38,418 Oh, Sara. 1729 01:44:41,484 --> 01:44:44,212 OK. I admit I never watched it before. 1730 01:44:45,529 --> 01:44:49,133 - But when Johnny lifts her at the end... - No, I know, it's very moving. 1731 01:44:50,034 --> 01:44:51,826 If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. 1732 01:44:51,827 --> 01:44:54,305 Yeah, understood. Yeah, 100%.